/r9gay/ - #1851

How do I turn myself gay?

What kind of bf do you want to obsess over?

think about kissing and hugging men and loving them every day until it becomes habitual

id obsess over any guy who would give me lots of attention, who would hangout with me all the time, likes to cuddle, and stuff. Id do anything for them in return

Some replies from the last thread made me question what exactly I want from a relationship. So I tried to outline it.
Just a disclaimer tho, it would be amazing having any kind of bf, and the following dynamic is simply my ideal version of it.

I want a loving, caring, goofy and wholesome romantic partnership. Where we understand each other as closely as possible and where our lives are so intertwined that imagining living without the other seems utterly ridiculous. BUT I also want that during all of that (or at worst, during specified time frames) my bf physically and mentally "abuses" me. With the physical stuff taking precedence. So not necessarily a dom and sub kind of thing, where one is simply submitting to the others will and "punishment" is only a possibility - but one where we are mostly equal (but I'm not against pet/slave dynamics ofc) with "punishment" being a certainty. It would also however be a great plus if my bf put lots of structure in my life with the goal of mutual self-improvement.

So in short a very sadistic bf is all I want :)
Is this achievable or am I completely immersed in my delusions?

Attached: cuddlez.jpg (500x614, 73.19K)

>am I completely immersed in my delusions?
this one
also please go to therapy unironically. you deserve better than abuse, user

But what is so delusional about it? Total power transfer relationships exist, so why cannot this too?
>deserve better than abuse
But I like it, and as I stated previously there would be plenty of "normal" sweet stuff too.

>no boyfriend to replace feelings of abuse with love
It's probably different for everyone but I feel like it's the ultimate act of trust when you've been abused and can share those feelings with someone who actually cares about you. Though that's probably a terrible way of living

>tfw you will never abuse user by not abusing him

i'll take what the insane poster wants but with a lot less co-dependency and none of that abuse stuff
just a nice bf

>tfw you just want sex and someone to fall asleep with at night
ideal bf and I would talk as little as possible and know nothing about each other
trust becomes a non-issue because no one is entrusted with anything
it is just a comfy way of sating basic needs and desires

I HATE WHEN PEOPLE BRING THIS UP!
Doing this is missing the entire point!!!
I like when my nociceptors fire and it reaches my brain, meaning I get off on pain. I only say abuse" Because that is what it is perceived as, and that is what I want it to be perceived as - but due to it being consensual it doesn't actually amount to abuse!

yeah but my point is the real abuse would be depriving you of that and pretending it's because of some high minded thing but really it's out of a meta-sadistic impulse
I'm just kidding though I wouldn't do that...

Man it's a societal thing if they're freaked out there's no chance anyways so there's no reason to worry, it's not like this niche can be filled for everyone who has it anyways

One thing I will say though, is that I very much feel like my bf would be burdened with lots of work on his part in the relationship. He would always "do" I would only be "done to", and idk how to mitigate that. But it also makes me appreciate his efforts all the more.

Idk about you but I'd only need a few scars to know I'm there's and to be happy. Unfortunately if you're submissive at all people see that as a dissolution of personality and dehumanize you. I wish there was a solution that didn't involve brain altering chemicals