Hi anons, dumb person here. I have been trying to make friends for a while with no success. I recently met this person and they seem cool, but it always seems like I am the one starting the conversations and, even when I do, the person sounds somewhat annoyed. This person was supposedly looking for friends too, but at this point I think I should cut ties because this is probably not going to work out. What do you think anons? When should one stop pursuing a friendship?
How much effort is too much?
Logan Bailey
Ian Kelly
why don't you just do shit together instead of talking all the time?
Jaxson Scott
Maybe it is more of a cultural thing. Where are you from?
Kevin Thomas
count yourself lucky you even found a single person to talk to
Kayden Allen
OK you met one person and they're sort of a dick. Drop them and find another. Sucks, man - world's full of lazy, entitled assholes and you have to go through a lot of them to find someone decent. Also, it always helps to be generally positive, interesting, and likable - I know that sounds like irritating normie bullshit but it's the truth.
Nicholas Mitchell
>When should one stop pursuing a friendship?
This is usually my cut off as well when I am trying to be friends with someone. I get there is dry days sometimes but if it's constant and they never seem interested, it's a bit of a bummer. Especially early on even if they are fun to talk to it should never feel like a chore, just because one day you think they'll be more friendly.
Do you want to be friends instead user
Jace Sanchez
Ah, forgot to mention we met online. Also we are both from third world countries. I suppose that if the conversations die quickly, activities would die even faster...
Connor Gomez
Do you have any friends irl? Any romantic interests?
Jeremiah Gutierrez
>guy talking to a woman
>woman has a gazillion orbiters to talk to
>she's "lonely"
>guy gets half assed replies
>realizes it's not worth it
Ditch her and find someone else.
Jose Murphy
I do, man. I like talking to people.
Don't worry man, I understand. Sometimes the so called 'normie advice' is the way to go. Thank you.
Yes, you sort of expect some sort of build-up, growing trust, but this is going nowhere I suppose.
I would gladly accept your friendship offer man, but as it seems I need to be more positive and entertaining to make friendships. I need to work on myself a little more first.
Jack Jones
Not many. And they are half assed friends, like the ones you barely talk to and keep due to 'respect'.
I had not considered this case... You might be right, dude. Thanks for the epiphany.
Lucas Lopez
Wait, you're a man, right? Are you trying to talk to women or men? I think this can change pretty much everything about how you approach them
Nolan Hill
>I would gladly accept your friendship offer man, but as it seems I need to be more positive and entertaining to make friendships. I need to work on myself a little more first.
It's fine I get it then. I always find my energy a little hard to match because I am so loud and always talkative.
My issue with making friends is that I'm too autistic for a lot of people to handle.
I don't think being positive or entertaining for the sake of others is the way to go. Act like that because you want to be and will find it improving your life. Not to say being constantly negative all the time isn't a bit annoying, but if you can have the middle ground of having someone to complain to but have other stuff to talk to about and bond with them is nice. You don't always need similar interests, some people can just get along very well if you talk about general things but shit like compatible personalities are really important.
Elijah Gomez
I don't care about their gender, to be honest. And yes
Camden Torres
i don't waste my time continuing trying to befriend someone if they start dodging every attempt or ignoring me for a super long time, and making me have to constantly talk first again to bring them back rather than them beginning convos. im shitty at talking so i try my best, and apologize if i think im doing it wrong, but it's easy to tell when they don't put in effort too rather than them also being bad at it.
Hudson James
OP what do you like to talk about? Maybe we can be friends. I'm from a third world country too btw.
Evan Anderson
Too autistic? What do you mean?
And yes, I know I don't have to change for others. That is why I say that I have to work on myself. Maybe I am too bitter or I overwhelm people with text, who knows. Hopefully some instrospecting will do me good.
I don't have a lot of interests due to 'lack of living'. I recently started working on myself after so many years spent studying / focusing on studies. You are right man, thanks a lot.
I will do your thing and move on from this person. I can spend that energy on something better. Thank you.
I talk about pretty much anything, from whatever happened in my day to some random obscure topics. I also love listening to others. Also thanks for the offer, but as I previously mentioned, I need to introspect for a bit. I send you a big hug, mate.
Henry Thompson
>Too autistic? What do you mean?
Exactly what it says, I sperg too much about my own interests, I am a little dumb, a lot of my interests are from childrens media and I'm very impulsive. I was diagnosed with autism and adhd from a young age and it really affects a lot of my personal relationships, it's hard to explain but for the most part my voice is very hard to understand because I speak in a weird accent and I'm too fast.
It's fine to not have any interests, but working on yourself to find what you really enjoy wouldn't be a bad idea if that's what you want to do. Just spending time alone to get know yourself can really help you see
who you are and enjoy/understand yourself better.
Not saying you shouldn't work on yourself, but sometimes the issue really is other people and you just haven't found the right person yet. Hell, right now I am having a lot of fun talking to you.
Jayden Clark
Ohhh okay. I understand. I have met people like that in the past and they struggled a lot with social interactions. I really hope you can overcome your problems and show the world the beautiful part of yourself that lives in your heart.
I have been alone most of my life, looking at myself. Even then, I rarely find anything that fills me. Everything feels so dull, so bland... I like to think I can understand myself really well, but can't understand others just yet. I will work on myself, no doubt... hopefully that will make me a better person and a better companion, too. I am very happy you enjoy talking to me, even though the topics were not cheerful and happy at all. I appreciate it, man. Hopefully I can see you again around sometime.
Jayden Hall
I also just cut contact with the aforementioned person. Hopefully it was the right decision.
Tyler Bell
>I really hope you can overcome your problems and show the world the beautiful part of yourself that lives in your heart.
Well it's not that I don't live and embrace my autism, I just know it makes it a little harder with people who don't have to understand me. I have had two very faithful friends since I was very young to be here with me, people have come and gone but they stuck because they got to know me well and understood my autism.
>I have been alone most of my life, looking at myself. Even then, I rarely find anything that fills me. Everything feels so dull, so bland.
Yea and sometimes people just have this problem, doesn't mean you're less for it. In my younger years I was very spastic, but I couldn't really feel joy or that I cared about things. Even now it's a bit of a problem but I've come to learn that I really enjoy helping people and doing stuff for others, having people smile at something I do makes me feel whole. Not saying you should go volunteer unless you really want to but just trying a whole bunch of new stuff and seeing what sticks might be nice. I know you said you live in a third world country which might make the practice part harder, but even watching other people do stuff might be nice. Plus I just think, what does working on yourself really mean to you? What would be your plans to change yourself? I don't know, it's a little silly what I'm saying but if you just try to 'work' on yourself without any real plans on what you want to fix other than "I'll be less boring!" won't really get you anywhere.
You shouldn't feel too bad, in this day and age some people just won't click and it's completely okay to just stop talking to someone for whatever reason. As long as you were not rude about it.
If you ever want though, I have an email; [email protected], I know you said you don't want to but I'll be here whenever if you wish. I'm a sociable person and I like talking to others. I can't help it haha.
Austin Jones
That pic made me hungry haha
>first paragraph
I am glad that you have found that kind of people. I guess I am just not so knowledgable about autists, so I don't think I know how to approach them or understand them.
>second paragraph
Same! I really enjoy helping others. Sometimes I can't help but then I just like to stay there and make the other person feel like I can be there for them. I would have loved to volunteer at some point, but now I am about what you'd call a wagie so I'll have little to no time. Just like you, I love seeing people smile. I would like to ask, are you volunteering yourself? Or doing something similar.
Working on myself, for me, is a tidying process. I usually try to see and gather my last experiences and think about them. What did I learn? When did I fail? What could have gone better? Did I improve as a person? The answer to those questions define the skills I must polish, the flaws I must attack and the skills that might be useful for me to learn, etcetera. Maybe it is a flawed process, but that's what I try to do.
>last paragraph
I just deleted the contacts, no message inbetween. I guess they won't notice my absence after all. It was a bit rude, but I don't think they deserve -or want- any further explanation.
I will save your email and message you later, I am phoneposting. Thanks for talking to me.