I'm 26, last week I made a post of how I've planned my suicide, bought the equipment and would carry it out in one month.
Yesterday I met a guy in the real and we talked for 4 hours, I was leaving work at night and he works security at the place I was working.
Even if I told you how smart the guy is and the stuff he invests in, and the things he does you wouldn't believe it (I was very skeptical at first). He works security as a side job if you can believe (he definitely doesn't need though).
Anyway, after we talked I went home, poured myself a drink and thought about he's life and how I was living and had lived my life. I think I have being living wrong, I thought about this before and that encounter sedimented this even further in my mind.
I always tried to avoid situations that I would consider "not needed", or "not objective enough", relationship drama, or drama of any kind, I think that I may even be a reductionist, but in reducing things, situations and people to it's bare, in neglecting emotions to a degree; I think I miss on something. Maybe a good chunk of the experience of being human. For example, if you don't play the social game, and go along with the little lies and conventions we have and engage with other people, it's unlikely you'll create a group of friends, or relationships, it's unlikely they will last if you don't play these games, or if they do it may be a strictly formal one.
I always thought I was getting ahead by not engaging in much of these things, but maybe it's the opposite. Maybe I'm missing the whole point of being human altogether. What do you think? Any experience, opinions, stories?
A new life? Let's talk older fags/NEETS
You should stlll kys please
You'll be missing out a lot if you kill yourself
That's not really the point, I'm fucking awful writer. It is but isn't, living the same way it's not worth it, but is it an illusion or something else? I honestly don't know. Like your quote, likely true, we fantasize more about the things we want the the things itself. But is that necessarily bad? Something to be avoided? I just don't know anymore.
>that encounter sedimented this even further in my mind
Now give it a go and come back in a few months with a death wish again.
Sorry I don't get it, english is not my first language, and I don't use that often.
You think it's all shit? I mean shit is expected right? But the thing is, will I get out of it better then before? Or is it all just the same thing? Am I better off alone, minimum stress, doing my own thing?
Life is bittersweet now
I've improved a lot, looksmaxxed, lost my virginity, learning a language, mog a lot of normies... however I'm still a NEET and I feel bitter about people surpassing me in other areas of life
>I feel bitter about people surpassing me in other areas of life
You think they surpass you because you are a NEET or you are talking about extreme levels of success? And why are you still a NEET?
Plus, what's your advice and what did you notice of differences, between before and now. Not the obvious ones, but you know, the intricate ones that you find it interesting.
The question is what you actually want out of life. What do you want us to say about that?
Good post OP. :) Keep your head up.
I have no idea, that maybe one of the hardest questions to ask, does anyone actually knows what they want? I like quiet and stable, I'm private, I like peace really. But I don't know, maybe that is just playing safe and negating another the other sides of life, maybe even avoidance. That's my point, maybe I'm doing it wrong by neglecting these other things. Idk.
How do I find out what I want? How did you found out?
>Maybe a good chunk of the experience of being human. For example, if you don't play the social game, and go along with the little lies and conventions we have and engage with other people, it's unlikely you'll create a group of friends, or relationships, it's unlikely they will last if you don't play these games, or if they do it may be a strictly formal one.
This is correct, user. Life is about the human experience.
Nobody can answer this for you. You just have to live. Everything slowly comes together. That's the beauty of it.
Take it from someone who pulled the whole le stoic loner thing before, you will not go far unless you are hard carried by something else thats actually tangible. Raw intellect alone does not achieve much unless you are particularly gifted in a specific area similar to figures like Newton or Mendel, and really that is such a stupid thing to obsess about I am almost convinced it was done on purpose to handicap autists even more. Even if you are the top 1% of intelligence for the world that still means there are millions upon millions globally who are exactly where you are, and purposely hindering yourself of connections is just shooting yourself in the foot then whining about how it hurts and how you cannot walk. Not saying you need to be their best damn friend or even that you need to particularly enjoy it, but spending that little bit of time to put a friendly face on and talk to people about whatever dumb shit will make you go far beyond what you would if you did not do that. Look at water cooler/small talk as a way to become a part of the social sphere and connect better with those around you.
kek
Thats just something only you yourself can answer user. My advice to that is to just keep an open mind and try to be a little enthusiastic about whatever new things you might do. Some people dont get it until well into their 40s and beyond. Just remember its not a race and everyone is putting on a face.
Oh, user, there are so many Rickys around the world that you wouldn't believe.
>Sorry I don't get it,
Cemented. Like cement. Solidified, consolidated.
Sediment on the other hand is the shit that falls to the bottom of a liquid.
And the joke is that Ricky (a character from Triler Park Boys, kindly depicted by the pic the user posted) does exactly the same shit and constantly fumbles words. Like using sedimented instead of cemented.
>english is not my first language,
Shit excuse, it's my 2nd language too and I laughed my ass off at what the other user pointed out.
>and I don't use that often.
Now that is almost a decent excuse.
embark on a journey to risk it all, max all your stats along the way and always live outside of your comfort zone
if you're suicidal then you really have nothing else to lose doing this
>Even if I told you how smart the guy is and the stuff he invests in, and the things he does you wouldn't believe it (I was very skeptical at first). He works security as a side job if you can believe (he definitely doesn't need though).
I cannot think about anything, but smoke and mirrors OP.
>thought about his life and how I was living and had lived my life. I think I have been living wrong
I get the feeling.
>I always thought I was getting ahead by not engaging in much of these things, but maybe it's the opposite. Maybe I'm missing the whole point of being human altogether. What do you think?
I think i have made the same mistake.
>Any experience, opinions, stories?
Can tell you kind of the place I m right now. In my next comment
Even tough i m 28, and my iq is 148 (became a Mensa member 8 months ago), I m pretty sure i m quite on the spectrum, and probably other stuff too.
I m a twice college dropout, currently unemployed (have been for 6 months).
The woman I have been in love and known since i was a teenager plainly told me that she does not love me.
And in a 3rd world shithole country, with barely any contact with my family, and barely any fiends.
I can assure you, I really fucking hate who I am.
Last month I tried to kill myself, it was not the first time, but the one closest so far.
When everything starts getting dark, your body panicks, so I wasn't able to do it.
Hanging yourself is not as easy as it is told (or may be i m so useless i cant hang myself properly)
I m still unsure if i will kill myself, or if i will be able to make a magical recovery / resign myself that my suicide attempts will end in faliure.
Wathever... a few days later after the attempt, a friend came to visit me, because i havent really left my room in these 6 months.
I also lost a lot of weight, since I often go days without eating.
I think my mother knows something is up as well, because she sometimes messages me, and sounds very concerned.
For now, I m trying to get my shit together.
I m not sure if I i will make it or not, but watching the distress i m giving to the few people i have on my life, and knowing another suicide attempt will fail, makes me at least try to do it.
Let's hope, may be i will manage to get my shit together, and stop hating myself all the time.