I'm absolutely devastated.
>December, 2021
>meet girl on dating app
>she confesses she has BPD second day talking
>she comes straightforward about it
>she is just so nice, she says she is recovering, we click so fast she's literally me
>remember reading about BPD threads on Any Forums
>think it could be exaggeration or a meme because she looks like my soulmate
>treat her like a queen, always be there for her
>Fastforward
>she starts complaining about stuff, she wants to change my thoughts, control my whole mind
>refuse
>we argue more and more, she distances herself, she starts opening up to a random guy and giving him intimacy for no reason
>call her out on it
>she goes batshit insane, states how I am the devil incarnate making shit up that simply never happened, leaves me and sextes the guy she was interested in before me
>suffer for half a months and then she comes back to me saying how sorry she is, she admits that everything was made up and I'm the guy who treated her better than her two exes
>she wants to go back together, I say NO
>she starts pursuing me daily, resist for two weeks then cave in and go back with her because she started reading BPD books and truly work on herself
>everything goes smooth, better than ever, get my hopes up, became attached again and think of the future
>yesterday she starts arguing, does everything that hurt me the most from the last relationship attempt, goes out with another girl with BPD she is friend's with and his boyfriend
>she tells everything about me, intimate details, how I'm the devil, they play the Yes Man and tell her she is so right and that the right thing is to leave me, she even tells them how she sexted that other guy after leaving me
>I'm extremely broken again, I've been played and I'm a fucking retard
BPD Girl
>tfw no bpd gf who splits on me when we have an argument
tell her to stay away for good this time, you don't deserve to get hurt. call the cops if she continues to harass you.
Block her on everything and forget about her. That's what she would do to you if you were the crazy one.
lets say you're in the right. but...check this out..what if you're not? what if you are the devil incarnate and she's in the right? never thought about that now, did you? really got your noggin joggin, didn't i? you're welcome, OP
you brought this to yourself. now sow it.
>date bpd girl
>she acts like a bpd girl and leaves him
>user is shocked and devastated she acted like she had bpd
>gets back with bpd girl
>repeats bpd behavior
>user is shocked and devastated, how could he have known?
It's very hard for me to let go, I become too attached and like emotionally dependent or codependent or some shit, I think she preys on this. But you are right. I got over her mostly before she came back to ruin my life again.
>bpd boy meets bpd girl
OP, you're the same as her
I trusted her to change, she said this time she was going to recover fully like she didn't have BPD and she talked to me about all her progress and how she would avoid everything bad that happened between us in detail. She should get an oscar honestly. I really wanted to believe.
i have a bridge to sell you, user
I don't get how a girl that seems so nice can be so wicked and evil and hurt me like this. My brain can't process it. She is so affective and the ideal woman when she is alright.
She's mentally ill and has poor control over her actions. She might have been trying to get help and even making progress, but being in a relationship is stressful and it probably knocked her off.
>dating app
>BPD
Your 2 mistakes
>i dont get how someone with a mental illness can act mentally ill
please stop. you're either dumb or just so lonely you tell yourself girls like this can change to justify a relationship
>Based BPD girl uses and dumps dumbfuck lonely sperg
A tale as old as time. Get fucked autist.
So is her justified then? Should I forgive her and take her back?
She promised she wouldn't do this shit again, she gave me her word...
Even if I took her back to try a third time, this shit has no future, I'm not marrying a ticking bomb or having kids with her... But I really love her still...
How does a former shut in ex hikki incel get laid then if not on apps?
But she is literally just fine for days, like she is not a fucking schizo, she should realize she is acting up... And she told me she would realize and stop it.
i'll tell you this as a bpd female myself, don't even bother desu
i know other borderlines like to claim we're "just like everyone else" but i don't even have functioning empathy
lovebombing isn't actual love and every interaction is self-serving
s/o's are like an extension of the self, no one else is human to me
i wouldn't hesitate to kill my s/o in their sleep if they were any less than perfect
get over her OP
>remember reading about BPD threads on Any Forums
So you knew exactly what you were getting into
Stop being a faggot holy shit
She claims she's not as bad as other BPDs and I've read BPD stories and they are absolutely horrible, cheating, physical abuse, and all that shit. And it's true she isn't as bad... Although she told me she cheated on her first ex twice and tried a third but she told me she put those behaviors behind and won't do them again. Afaik she didn't cheat on me, but I wouldn't be able to know for sure. She says she always tells me the truth.
You think there are BPDs that are less severe than others or could it just be an act?
>So is her justified then? Should I forgive her and take her back?
That's up to you. She'll do it again. She's mentally ill and she's not far enough along on her treatment to be stable. BPD is an illness that people can mostly get over, if you want to subject yourself to staying with her during her treatment (which may or may not work), then go for it.
Justifying things is pointless by the way. If you don't like what she does then don't be near her. It doesn't matter if she has a good reason or not. Either you're willing to deal with it or not.
>like she is not a fucking schizo, she should realize she is acting up
NTA, but she probably can't control it. The emotional shit they go through might as well be a psychotic episode. She very likely legitimately believed that you were evil or whatever. That's just how it is. The borderline in BPD is "borderline schizophrenia" because it was first thought to be a mild form of schizophrenia. It's not related to schizo shit, but it's not like it's an easy disorder to deal with.
>i wouldn't hesitate to kill my s/o in their sleep if they were any less than perfect
please say more words
be my gf right now originally
>How does a former shut in ex hikki incel get laid then if not on apps?
By actually going outside and doing fun things, socializing with friends, having a job where you interact with coworkers and clients/customers, attending interest-based events. When you do this it kinda happens naturally sooner or later, you meet someone, you think each other are attractive and sort of just click smoothly. When you fish through dating sites/apps or hit on women at a bar or other normie nightlife places, you get very damaged women, if any.
if you really care about her kidnap her and reprogram her mind using mkultra methods
Dump her asap. It is over and should have been over the first time. No take backs. Hopefully you learned your lesson.
Yet another retard that didn't listen to literally every user that told you not to play with BPD women. I'm clapping. This is next level retarded. Sorry though, I know it hurts like a bitch. You were warned though.
>She says she always tells me the truth
Veteran of a 2 year relationship with a (milder than your case) BPD partner here.
The thing with untreated BPD is, their world view is almost totally black and white, and they always are telling the truth, because they fully 100% believe everything they are feeling at the time they are feeling it, be it "you are the most amazing person ever and I love you" or "you are literally the devil and I want to destroy your life"
People with untreated BPD are fundamentally incompatible for relationships with more functional people until they at least have a LOT of DBT under their belt.
For your own sake mate get out while you can, I understand how you feel with how much you love her, I was the same with mine, but unless she is currently balls deep in a DBT course there is no hope of change, this isn't something that fixes itself.
I've always wondered if this would work on mental disorders. Could you brainwash someone into not being depressed? I think you would need to give them a focus, might as well be yourself. Good way to start a cult?
BPD cannot be cured or recovered from. Therapy is more about damage control than anything else. It may make her better at handling her feelings but it will not make them go away. Leave her.
The problem with putting up with it is that even if I managed to not give a shit about her episodes and wait them out, I've read that BPDs discard you after a number of idealization/devaluation cycles. And find a new guy to start the process again, so I would still end up in the losing side.
Do you know if those cycles can be stopped or if they can control it with treatment? She takes antidepressants and started with DBT a couple of weeks ago, she also goes to her therapist.(amazingly her therapist recommended to her that she should hide things from me and don't tell me stuff like when she borderline-cheated on me).
I don't want to spend my years supporting her and withstanding abuse just for her to dump me anyway.
>BPD cannot be cured or recovered from.
This isn't true. People are able to get to the point that they're no longer diagnosable as BPD.
with the right amount of chemicals, you could turn someone into an entirely different personality, let alone get rid of their depression
I respect the honesty. I HATE bpd havers who claim to be normal but quirky. It is a contemptible mental illness and I am glad that you can see this truth. I wish the best for you.
>She claims she's not as bad as other BPDs
yeah everyone claims that
and relatively, there likely *are* people worse than her
>she told me she put those behaviors behind and won't do them again
well that's bs and she was already emotionally cheating on you ("opening up to a random guy")
>You think there are BPDs that are less severe than others or could it just be an act?
i know BPD is over diagnosed in women and sometimes it's just normal female behavior being pathologized for the shekels
but yes it's also easy to play pretend when everything is going well
>please say more words
about?