I have a job interview in 1 hour. Hopefully they will hire me. It's been over 6 months

I have a job interview in 1 hour. Hopefully they will hire me. It's been over 6 months
Give me your best tips

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Loudly compliment the interviewer's boobs, you can segue this into a sob story about your kids starving at home and how they wouldn't be starving if they could drink from the interviewer's boobs.

job interview as what

I think he is a man
As finance analyst

Don't make eye contact, be very unsure about every answer you give, complain about the diversity at the company, swear a lot, and wear your pj's

Tell him you can get him a reservation at Dorsia

Prove that your accomplishments are yours in team settings. Use "I" instead of "We" and tell your story.
Show that you care about the quality of your work not up to an imaginary standard but for whoever will use your work.
Show you will compromise quality for speed so long everyone is okay and aware of it and it's agreed on.
Show that you care about your coworkers and that you want them to learn from you.
Show that you have a strong opinion based on facts and data to move orojects forward.
You do all that through your own life experience, pet projects, past employment experiences. You just have to frame them in the right light.
Dunno much else because I don't know what field we talking about. There's a good chance you have no past experiences to draw from because everyone in this board except for a selected few individuals are a complete failure in the real world. Hope you make it anyway. Interviews are a scam.

It's online. Wich is great because i'm really bad at eye contact

Thats one of my main problems, I don't have any life experiencies. I had some group projects in university but most of the time I was that guy that doesnt do anything. So i have to invent something

Flip the table and take the guy that did everything's seat. If you are going to be useless, at least do it properly.

I got into mvc2 on the 360 release because of my forum friends, i hadonly played smash before, then i started soul calibur 4

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Wear a nice shirt. If you're in person, wear nice pants, too.
Ask them some lowball questions to make it seem like you're interested.
>How long have you been with [company], and what sort of projects have you worked on during your time here?
Look up the position you're applying for on Google/Glassdoor. Like "Business Analyst Microsoft Interview". Companies like to reuse interview questions, so if you read a bit, you can prepare a few answers ahead of time.
If you run out of things to say, or don't immediately know the answer to a question, you can ask for a minute to think. It helps to maintain composure and keeps you from rushing and making an obvious blunder/lie. You can also frame it as
>Well, I haven't seen this exact situation in the past, but if I were in this situation...
Or if you can find a loosely related project you did in school or whatever to connect it to.

I have to make up some stories but its too late now, maybe for my next interview

go in with headphones, listening to 'walking on sunshine'

Im wearing a nice shirt. Its online.
>Ask them some lowball questions to make it seem like you're interested.
I always have a hard time coming up with this kind of things, I feel like it would look like im trying too hard, I obviously dont care about any of that shit, and they know it.
>Look up the position you're applying for on Google/Glassdoor. Like "Business Analyst Microsoft Interview". Companies like to reuse interview questions, so if you read a bit, you can prepare a few answers ahead of time.
Good idea, but its too late, ill do it for my next interview

God I wish I was pathologically inconsequential and retarded.
Again, interviews are a scam. Hope you make it.

Clean that uncut cock, user, no one likes dirty smeg on the corner of your glans.

Lets hope, Ive had over 30 and nothing. But im really bad at interacting wiht people

Most of the advice I wanted to give has already been given. I'll leave you with this: Refrain from saying too many negative things and especially about yourself. Job imterviews are a normalfag shit test.

Im not a normalfag. I dont say bad things about myself unless they ask me to do so. I think my main problem is my lack of human interactions in the last few years

>lowball
Hmm, I feel like this isn't the exact word I was looking for, but I don't know enough about sports to find the damn word.
Maybe "softball questions" was it, since it's not hardball.