being forced to take abilify for a summer at 12 years old against my will irreversibly damaged my brain. my grades tanked, my education was ruined due to falling behind exponentially from that point, and it would take years to relearn the important subjects I missed, years of willpower that I no longer have. the game plan is shooting myself in the head in front of my mom to traumatize her forever and get out of having to live the rest of my life as a brain damaged retard, correct? I don't see any other options here.
>inb4 "nooo ur mom just didn't know she doesn't deserve that". yeah, she probably didn't because she willingly took prozac for 2 decades and rendered herself a hollow, narcissistic, brain damaged retard herself before letting the same happen to me. I do not feel a modicum of sympathy for her at this point and scarring her for life makes up half my motivation for doing this.
Thank you abilify very cool
You deserved it, and your mom will forgive herself and you will have done nothing
Hope you still kys though
What dose was the abilify?
Very spiteful, 10/10. I'm sure you as an r9k user with this level of omnidirectional malice are having a very good life right now. You should reflect on the brilliant choices that brought you to this point.
Lowest dose but it still causes brain damage. I was put on it off label for depression too lmao, gotta love psychiatrists
Ur brain is probably fine imo, if your brain was actually damaged you'd be having physical symptoms like tardive dyskinesia. Your mom sounds like a cunt, but your brain is probably the same as it is before and you just need to work on learning things and improving yourself.
Brain damage comes in many forms, it's not a binary. If something as mild as smoking weed consistently while you're under 25 can have profound effects on the frontal lobe, I can guarantee you being on an antipsychotic that's been proven to shrink the brain for an entire summer will ruin your ability (no pun intended) to retain information in any serious capacity. I do appreciate the encouragement but brain damage is a spectrum and I fear I've gotten a pretty significant dose
Then go to a neurologist and get an MRI to be sure. Most of the studies showing abilify can cause brain damage are done on people who have taken high doses over a long period of time. I doubt that taking the lowest dose over a summer really did anything.
Not a bad idea actually, I think I'll do that. That being said, given the fact that my grades tanked immediately after that summer, and the fact that my brain was actively developing during that time, I'd be shocked if it had no effect. Not to mention that even if there wasn't physical damage, my education was ruined from the chain reaction falling behind for a year causes. I graduated but I suck ass at math now, it will take literal years to get where I'm supposed to be and that's time that should have been spent studying. Even best case scenario, that's years of my life wasted and I truly do not have any willpower left.
it's an antiphycotic
? oopie i forgot question mark
There are a lot of reasons why your grade's could've tanked. A lot of people fall behind in school and I wouldn't take that as being a sign of brain damage. If you're not in college, then I'd look into applying for trade schools in your area or trying to find a meaningful job. Also lifting definitely helps with self esteem, and reading books will help to strengthen your brain.
don't blame your mom
blame the pharmaceutical companies and the FDA
please don't do this your mom
Charles A. Heimbold Jr. was the CEO of Bristol-Myers Squibb when Otsuka Pharmaceutical partnered with BMS in 1999 to complete development, obtain approvals, and market aripiprazole
Andrew C. von Eschenbach was the Commissioner of the FDA when the FDA approved Abilify for treatment of depression in 2007
if you are going to do something those are the important names, don't traumatize your mother for this, those are the people who actually hurt you
I do NOT advocate violence at all, but you have access to a gun, the ability to make decisions of your own, and now the names of the people who did this to you
do NOT commit violent acts
Yeah it's an antipsychotic meant for schizophrenics but the manufacturers realized they could make more money by having it prescribed for arbitrary shit like "depression" that any sad/traumatized child could be misdiagnosed with. Most people, even the completely sane, would be hard pressed to walk into a psychiatrist's office with a list of normal human emotions that they experience and leave without a prescription. These people don't even ask if you've been through any major events recently half the time, they're just itching for that kickback money so they'll put you on basically anything. It's a sick industry and the practitioners deserve to be skinned alive alongside their families. This doesn't just affect the victims either, if you have a large portion of society on mind altering drugs under the guise that it's healthy, it's going to have PROFOUND effects on society. If you've personally known anyone who habitually takes high doses of these drugs for an extended period of time, you'll know what I mean.
She's barely human by your own admission, you'd be better off killing yourself in front of the family dog if you want someone to care.
She consistently denies any wrongdoing and attacks me for my decisions to this day. She recently said "some kids like being put on meds" as if that somehow negated any of the arguments I've posed as to how recklessly immoral it was to put a developing brain on hardcore drugs. She says things like this any time I bring up the subject, I could write a book with the amount of deflection and lack of care she's shown me. I do like your train of thought, and these people deserve to suffer, but my mom is not innocent at all in this. She's shown zero regret for her actions and the only way I'll ever be satisfied is if she has to suffer for the rest of her life.
>literally throwing your whole life away just to "get revenge" or whatever
She'll just get over it within a year and all you'll be is a dead faggot 6 feet deep in the ground and in 50 years they'll build a McDonalds or a parking lot on your corpse .
I've got a part time job that I like a lot right now, it's actually very enjoyable work, and I plan on studying in a bit once I'm settled in. I know what I want to do if I'm going to salvage my life, and I've actually been lifting for about 5-6 years now (although my gains tanked when the clot shot mandates shut down my gym, only recently saved up enough to set up a decent home gym), but that doesn't take away from the anguish of being gipped like this that I experience daily. I'm reminded of it whenever I try to study for more than 5 minutes at a time, be it math or coding. I do what I have to do to maintain my physique, I do what needs to be done to keep my job, but even getting out of the bed in the mornings has become a monumental task with the amount of hopelessness I feel for my situation, let alone every other task that is required of me throughout the day. I know this sounds like a masturbatory pity party, and it probably is, but I truly do not see myself living past 30 and the only real thing I desire at this point is to make this woman suffer. Again, (assuming you're the same guy), I really do appreciate the encouragement and I've given similar advice to others in the past, but this isn't a situation that can be remedied with basic self improvement. I recently had a personal issue that's been eating away at me for years remedied, and it felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest, but after a few days of feeling basically the same way, I came to realize that the damage is done and the only thing that would make me feel better at this point is revenge. I could have everything in the world handed to me on a silver platter and at this point it still wouldn't make a difference. If I could see where I am now (physically and materially) a few years ago, I would be ecstatic, but if I had to live 5 minutes in my head right now I would probably buy a gun right then and there lmao. It's truly over
>>literally throwing your whole life away just to "get revenge" or whatever
why yes how could you tell
maybe you need to work out your issues with your mother/parents. i mean i really really doubt the pills did zero damage, but it sounds to me a more serious problem comes from a lack of love from your mother.
I took abilify for 6 months, risperidone for one year and clozapine for 2 years. I re-learnt most things within 6 months after quitting
nonnie you sound insufferable but also very intelligent and articulate. have you ever looked into adhd? from what you've described this would be way more likely diagnosis than actual brain damage