It finally happened. I fucking sharted

It finally happened. I fucking sharted.

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you need to make an anal tampon out of toilet paper dude

Congratulations user! how do you feel

You are now a true, red blooded American. Congratulations

I did too! (ironically when I opened this thread)
Seriously though, it happens to all of us. I'm only in my late 30s and I even shit myself about once to twice a week. I can't control my farts anymore.

the older you get the less you can trust your farts user, it's a fact of life.
one of the times i sharted I was super scared for a second because it looked like a fucking tape worm or something i swear to fuck, it wasn't liquidly poop it was kinda clay like, and my sphincter only opened a tiny amount so the poop it forced out was a very thin long thread of poop.
i stared at it in my underwears for like 30 seconds absolutely aghast at what i was looking at...then i touched it and it smeared away and i realized it was just poop and not a worm, and i just started laughing while i was sitting on the toilet.
true story.

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once or twice a week is too much user

My body is failing me and isn't ready, user.

you must have a poop disease yea? IBS? Crohn's? Prolapsed anus from gay sex?

I did start to have constant itching from my asshole and farting like a wild pig after I got drunk and really high then my friend took advantage of me while staying the night at my house. He ended up fucking my asshole and then making me suck his dick and came in my mouth. FUCK, why did this have to happen to me.