Sup im a 24 closet gay neckbeard thats tryna get himself out of a depression.
Its been some of the lowest points of my life recently. I've pretty much been realizing that ive been abusing drugs whenever i was lonely n i been trying to figure out who i am again because i feel completely lost(but also fucked up my memory n chemicals n shit). Its made me look back into the past to try and find maybe some pieces that i can go from and ive been looking through my dms and i found this guy i used to msg a lot that pretty much made me realize that maybe i have a thing for guys. It was online so we kinda we're just leading each other on being horny 18 year olds but when i look at these messages i see a lot of self hate i had for myself because i wasnt happy being gay and didnt really accept it. I could've had a lot of fun with this guy but instead I decided to be a closet raging homo, even though this guy was clearly trying to be my friend and just wanted to have a good time with me too. This whole thing is also making me look at and rethink my current friendships too because i dont even tell my friends im gay n i dont rlly want to do that anyways..
right now im just trying to learn some good habits again but honestly im just playing video games watching therapy videos feeling like shit so ya/ inb4 bunch of fag jokes ajajaja but srsly can someone just say something useful or helping? probably not but i spent the most time on this board when i used to use this so fuck it.
>drugs I would smack the shit out of you for thinking thats a good idea, coming from someone who grew up in that environment there is literally nothing to be gained from street drugs, but plenty to lose. I get why you feel like you had to take them but always remember that its just a false and fleeting feeling that will hit you like a truck when the high is done. Either way you are 24, meme as it may sound you still have time to unfuck yourself and clean up. But it has to start now, with no excuses. As for good habits, I would say an easy one is to do push ups every time you wake up, as many as you can. It gives you a routine to follow and helps your body become healthier. Its small but thats where the most important traits start from. t. 23 also in the closet
Jace Sanders
>gay Just kys Fuck off. I'm sick of gays and reading gay shit here. This board is overrun with homosexuals
Tyler Rodriguez
ill try and do that. I was on a better schedule with actual workouts prob not even that long ago but i forgot what happend n lost track of that ig. I been jacking off everyday though and want that to stop. I was def on a better schedule when i wasnt beating as much.
Brody White
just come out of the closet already you gay boy. if you get disowned or whatever, you're better off being able to be your own person or whatever. make gay friends through discord; most gays that I've met are pretty friendly. you probably want to go see a therapist and get prescribed some legal drugs because you've probably got some mental illnesses. good luck and don't kill yourself. you're still young and have plenty of time to find yourself
yea ur right. i was thinkin maybe i want to get prescribed antidepressants or whatever because my motivation and chemistry has been out of wack cause of the insecurities and drug abuse but idk. For now im just trying to hopefully learn some good skills to just keep me at ease or something and honestly just work out or walk, anything.
thx bro
Ayden Nelson
I don't think you necessarily have to come out, but I think it's very hard to find happiness being sexually repressed. The best thing you can do is fulfill your homoerotic desires and start dating guys. I was once like you, like every other closeted repressed gay. And I was miserable. Having a dating life saved me.
Xavier Ross
>Sick of gays >Comes to a board filled with gays over and over You love it and you know it
William Wood
Sounds like the move. Only thing on my mind is gay shit and depression right now. Hopefully when im done fucking off i can get some self confidence back and at least try to go on dates with guys. Im a mess but i need to learn.
btw i was like this guy except worse. Didnt help that my friend group is like this so now i dont feel comfortable letting em know im gay.
Charles Wood
Sounds like you need better friends. That or educate your friends on political correctness towards gays, although that would be the equivalent of coming out. You need to start weeding out the homophobia from your life, and you need to sow the seeds of self love and self acceptance. It's not easy, but it's necessary. Being in a group that is openly homophobic is the last thing you need right now. By the way, dating men is very easy. You should try it now. No need to wait any longer. Just try the apps and have a date in public. It will change your life.
Alexander Sanchez
i know i do but its kinda complicated. Not the type of friends that will settle down if u ask em to but also they are ppl i kind of have to keep around because they revolve around my life in other ways(hobby, career). But yea im not trying to be in that environment rn. n yea ig ur right on guys being easier to date but im tellin u, my mind is out of wack rn. Recently i accidently broke down infront of my family when they just wanted to do stuff with me, dxm n benadryl abuse has pretty much made me feel like a methhead after using the shit so much. So in short, i dont think im ready rn desu:/ but i really do appreciate ur help
Aaron Ramirez
>Comes to a board filled with gays over and over I find myself coming here less and less. All I see now is faggots talking about faggot shit. It's not interesting at all not in the slightest. It gets tiring real quick
Sounds like you need to kys Fuck off and take it to
Samuel Richardson
>now Sweet old days before /hm/ when we used Any Forums for gay porn. Not that a newfag like you would remember. Yes, please do go away. You won't be missed
Brayden Rivera
>dont think im ready rn You're not, but that's the catch. You'll never be ready. Nobody is. Dating is always a leap of faith into the unknown. I know your mental health might be wrecked, but loneliness is not doing you any good. Trust the gay, user. Meeting new gay guys will be good for your mental health. You'll see your own struggles reflected back at you, and you'll feel all the empathy that your friend group doesn't provide. I too am completely haunted by the fact that I willingly missed out on teen love because I was a repressed closet fag who rejected all the guys that showed interest in me. But about that, there's no turning back in time. The best we can hope to achieve is making a better future where we don't miss out on more experiences due to repression. This is why you should start dating now
Jaxon Richardson
guess ur kinda right. Ill try user. I appreciate ur response and any1 else who was cool. Makes me feel better and not alone. Thx
Anthony Lopez
i am envious of gay/bi men who are sure of their own sexuality. i feel like i whiplash so far back and forth in regards to what i like i might as well stay with women. i am INSANELY attracted to dick and like hearing male vocalizations during sex but i don't know how i'd feel kissing a guy and i NEVER had male crushes growing up. i didn't have any female crushes either to be fair besides thinking "wow that female celebrity is hot" or something.
Gavin Russell
>i don't know how i'd feel kissing a guy Pretty dure you'd love it
Landon Cruz
i almost feel the same way i just have very very little in women and my interest in men is always going up and down. i've never had a crush or anything either i mostly just like watching guys jerk off however, so im not sure what's up with that
Matthew Miller
i don't know honestly. the most in depth my fantasies with men that don't involve dick revolve around me like licking and kissing guys bodies but never flat out making out. i have pretty much no experience kissing anyone.
masc on masc gay porn doesn't do much for me but solo guys fapping and stuff is hot yeah. the only like "gay masc porn" i've been turned on by is just the idea of me doing stuff with a guy, but i wouldn't be seeing myself doing it obviously. just doing stuff with a cock and hearing how good it felt for the guy would be hot.
Jeremiah Moore
my problem isn't with masc on masc porn, its with porn being shit. solo vids are just better quality and webcaming is more unique i don't think i actually want to have sex at all. i like the idea of playing with a guy, but i don't think i'd like to be touched much myself
Landon Young
You're so very obviously gay but the denial is just too strong
Jayden Ward
i also don't have any fantasies involving me using my dick despite having an above average dick. i think it might be a self hate thing but i don't get turned on imagining myself giving any sort of penetrative sex.
Austin Rivera
>i don't know >INSANELY attracted to dick >Likes hearing male voices during sex >Fantasizes licking and kissing guys bodies >Turned on by the idea of doing stuff with a guy All the evidence is laid out in front of you. You only refuse to acknowledge it. The denial is too damn strong. Accepting oneself isn't easy, but it leads to a better
Grayson Phillips
not that user but don't gay guys like have an ah ha or lightbulb moment young? where they see boys or men they like and want to do romantic stuff with them? i never had that. i went from like finding girls pretty pre puberty and not caring about boys to being like "wow dicks are hot in porn they make me horny i want to suck one and rub it all over me and have a guy blow his load all over my face."
that feels less like the common gay experience and more like porn made me slightly bi during puberty because girls ignored me and i hated myself.
Jaxson Hill
i wasn't a faggy kid though. i had the most boring common childhood imaginable albeit i was a shut in playing video games. i never experimented with boys or had crushes on them.
