What is it you really want? If you answer this question, and I ask why your answer is the one and not something else, and I repeat this process until you have no answers left to give, what is your final response? What's that one thing your life MUST have in order for you to look at all of the downsides and think "Yeah, sucks, but it's worth it because--"?
For me, it's someone to pour my attention, care, and energy into. Someone rational and selfish enough that they would never erect barriers between themselves and decent people who care about their long-term health just to satisfy some short-term urge.
This is an important question, because if you don't even know the answer, then how can your environment ever provide it? How could you even know to grab a hold of it when it's available? You would be the problem, then.
Passing urges are not the same as desires. The awareness that you would appreciate something in hindsight is not wanting it. You've gone to the motions of answering the question. Why? What does this do for you?
Jordan Long
Community. My most common daydream is growing up in a small commune or town of people. The technology is primitive so I'd play outside with the community's children my age. We'd read books, go to the movies, have family parties, all the things I never experienced. I don't desire just strong friendships but also strong familial relationships too. I would share a deep bond with my parents and siblings, spending equal time with them as my friends.
Do I want to regress? No. I just want community. I want to make memories to look back on, true connection with other people. I want to be surrounded, to be loved, and maybe I would be able to love in return.
The first thing that comes to mind when I consider a genuine presence of community is that the impulsive barriers between people would fall and they could just get along instead of playing unspoken games and leveraging each other. Is that why you want such a thing?
Brandon Barnes
i always wanted this growing up
Jeremiah Ramirez
I want to raise a Chad son because I, as a human, have a biological need to secure my bloodline from extinction. Also, my parents fucked up my upbringing completely. I could've easily been a Chad since I'm 6'2", white, can put on muscle easily, have zero recessed features, and have a full head of thick hair. However, my mother had me at 36, which resulted in me being born with literal brain damage, and along with my father passing away when I was 10 and numerous other mistakes, I am now at 21 year old KV. If I knocked up a fat ugly bitch, I would still raise a Chad son because of the sheer looksmaxing knowledge I have permanently stored in my brain. Watching my son having a beautiful life and not suffering like I did would honestly heal my soul completely.
I've been working on answering that question for years and I'm tire of thinking about it.
>This is an important question, because if you don't even know the answer, then how can your environment ever provide it? How could you even know to grab a hold of it when it's available? You would be the problem, then.
I'm already aware of this.
Nolan Carter
I never really thought about that. I suppose so, yes. Whenever I do attend family gatherings they feel very performative, like an unspoken game, as you say. It's a performance of familial bonding but any genuine bond is absent, it's vacuous and artificial. I think a lot of our society's distractions, like politics and unfulfilling work, contribute to this. My idealized community would be free of what holds people back, to penetrate those barriers and cultivate honesty.
Anthony Martinez
hell, even some really close circle of friends that share the same life, even for a limited period. you go out, eat something, watch something, talk about somebody else. kinda like in the "movies". maybe thats why i lust towards such life, manipulation.
Nicholas Smith
>what is it that i really want
some ass if i can somehow get a friend with benefits or a wife, id be happy
Colton Diaz
I want to be happy and productive and growing at the same time I have never found a solid formula
Liam Hall
I want to have a child and be the dad I never had growing up
Christian Moore
36 is a normal and healthy time to have a child. You would of been retarded regardless.
Brandon Robinson
I want a peaceful life without worrying about money nor self improvement, work as a lab assistant, have a gf that loves me and hugs me, play vidya, stay in my house rarely going out besides for food, work, or art. As an autist with an abusive family I'll probably never get it besides the work part and not leaving the house part.
I want life to have meaning, not just my life but everything but it doesn't and never will. People giving their own lives or other people's meaning is not enough.
Joshua Bell
>family gatherings they feel very performative Amen. It's why I don't bother, every chance I get.
Chase Long
Try a decade-long age gap between your parents. My dad was fucking 50 when he planted his seed. Apparently I was diagnosed with Fragile X syndrome as a child but thank fucking God that seemed to be a mistake. Regardless, I'm a mistake and my parents were highly irresponsible.
Christian King
People can pretend to be all complicated but I'm real. Everything you do in life is for one thing and you know it. I'll say it, I just want to bust nuts in hot women. Anything else is coping and trying to sound smarter than you actually are.
I just want a girlfriend who isn't a fucking slag and will love me despite my shortcomings. Basically I want the impossible therefore I'm slowly killing myself with drugs of certain kind.
