Repressing emotions and behavior

It's being one year, I catalog, analyze, reflect on it and any time it pops up I repress, if I can't, after it I remind myself that, that can't happen.
I'm 27, at first I thought it would work, it's very exhausting, but it has given me results I never imagined.
What will happen if I keep up?
Any tips on furthering this?
Have you done anything like this?

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>What will happen if I keep up?
nothing, people will think you are "interesting" and "mysterious". do this when you are talking to people tho.

>Any tips on furthering this?
when talking to people, think about the answer while they are talking and choose the shortest answer. listen to them and analyze them, show no emotions. you can easily manipulate people by listening because they tend to overshare when people are listening to you.

>Have you done anything like this?
i have been doing this because i got a lot of comments like "you talk too much" "you are just talking non sense" since my childhood.

Dissociation and avoidance is no joke.

For me it's about talking, it's more about emotions and actions, for instance if I'm feeling angry, I'll just stop myself, it's weird to explain, but it's as if I had shifted the attention from anger, in the back of my mind I still feel angry but it's different like it's not in control, or when I'm sad, or anything really, I'm trying to apply it more and more, even for moments of joy, it's exhausting at the end of the day, but there is a sense of clearness if that makes any sense.

you are just retarded then, stop doing that. you are literally killing something what makes living things "living". fucking hell is wrong with you?

Emotions never helped me much. I think that maybe I feel too much, am gullible and took things too seriously and that got in the way of a lot of things.
This user talks about avoidance, I think it's the other way around for me, up until last year I would do the bare minimum, I would miss work opportunities because I would always be avoiding unpleasant things, never got in college because was not "motivated" to pass the entrance exams, would only do sports if it was something that had a teacher or instructor... like in my weekends or holidays or when I arrived from work, I would do nothing productive, nothing at all, just browse the internet or pass out in front of a movie or tv show.
After spending a lot of money and time with doctors and medication since HS, I just decided to try and repress my emotions and deal with reality as it is. I either do something or I don't, there is no need to get jolly or angry or frustrated, because 1 minute later I won't feel angry or happy or anything, so why go through all that roller coaster of emotions and stress?
I'm not encouraging anyone to do this, therapy does work for most people that take it seriously, but it didn't for me. I'm tired of seen my life waste away, it's very frustrating, I should have finished college and be working on my field, but instead I haven't even started, nor do I have a real job. It's no where near perfect and at the end of the day I'm exhausted, even in the weekends and holidays, but so far, it's working for me better than anything I tried before, and I wanted to know if anyone tried this and has any tips, I haven't found much content online, so far it has been trial and error.

you can continue doing this, turning yourself into a robot or you can continue feeling those unwanted feelings even if it hurts because you are an human after all. you have rights to be mad, angry or even ruining your own life. >so why go through all that roller coaster of emotions and stress? because that what makes you feel alive. your life will get boring after some months and you will probably regret what you have done.

I understand your concerns and they are valid ones, however I have being doing this for one year and 3 weeks now, and I'm better then I have ever been. I don't know what the future holds, but for the moment being, my only concern is improving my techniques.

Wait untill the eventual disconnection to your emotions turns into a feeling of "everyone else is living in the world while I'm an outsider looking in", then you will start to feel as if you don't even exist and that feel will turn into longing for actually not existing.

Your emotions, as ugly, unpleasant and obnoxius as they might be, are yours. Let them out.

I'm also curious about others that tried this, and what would happen in the long run, 10 year for example, that would be very interesting.

>"everyone else is living in the world while I'm an outsider looking in"
This actually happened to me the once (2, 3 months ago), one of the reasons I'm making this thread and looking for people that tried to do this. But that day I had being studying the whole weekend without many pauses and I had a bit to drink, I think it was the alcohol tough. It was a very weird experience when it happened, I was in a gas station.

you can not find them user, they dont get enough dopamine and become miserable after few years. they throw away their most precious thing, their feelings. without any feelings you are just an robot. they probably stopped talking to people because they dont want extra feelings to put to ease.

That's a interesting theory. Have you experimented with repressing your emotions and behaviors?

im represing my emotions since childhood. people around me would say i was an annoying kid who talks much so i stopped talking and showing emotions at once. now people call me "mysterious" and "asocial" but they dont know that i completely forgot how to hold conversations with people. all i can feel and hear is my own depressive self.

Did you developed any particular technique over the years?

i have adhd so i cant focus when people talk to me. i just dont listen to them, when im alone i just let if all flow out of my body without showing any movement. i just lay or sit on something and shake my body in a way that people cant tell. i tense my hands when im in public which makes a lot of people say i have very visible veins.

That is interesting, how do you deal with anger, or procrastination? And why do you feel the need to tense your hand in public or shake your body in private? Is it a compulsion or something you like to do? Did you started doing it after or before you started suppressing yourself? I think I do something similar, when there is no one around I like to take a couple of very deep breaths, usually 2 or 3, it's relaxing for me.

>how do you deal with anger, or procrastination?
if im not angry angry, i usually say "mehhh i dont care actually". if im like angry angry i mostly punch something or lift my weights as hard and as fast as i can do.

>And why do you feel the need to tense your hand in public or shake your body in private?
idk its probably a cope mechanism. i actually never thought about why i do that, i just do it because it kind of calms me.

>Did you started doing it after or before you started suppressing yourself?
i think its after i started doing it. i dont have any memories about shaking myself from my childhood.

>I like to take a couple of very deep breaths, usually 2 or 3, it's relaxing for me.
thats actually a better coping mechanism. mine is kind of energy consuming and painful when i do it too often.

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