Arrive at university

>arrive at university
>this is your roommate

How do you react?

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"please take a shower, also do you play osu?"

>time to die hard faggot

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Wdym this is my roommate? I live with my parents you dumbass

id fuck it if I was down bad

>immediately pollute the room with my cum onion musk
>'oh you use windows' i mutter over the whirr of my thinkpads fan as it hits 95C opening Any Forums
>'do you know what a CPAP is' i weeze getting out winded by my own sentence 'yeah gets pretty loud if i dont clean out the tubes..' 'i wont btw'
>'what do you weigh like 140lb yeah i can bench like 200 but my back's playing up..you know for OPsec we should really keep those curtains closed, im whats known as a 'targeted individual' also sunlight makes my eczema flare up
>'im pretty chill about cleaning but if you want to do it thats cool'
>i slump on the bed loosening my sweatpants and tenting the crotch with my hand and vigorously scatching my inner thigh 'yeah the thing with skin conditions is you've got to let them breath, also they say don't scratch but fuck that'
>'hey what anime is that have you read beserk?'

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I dress up with him ofc.

unzip my dick
turn around 360 and walk away

here's my plan
>wait for a day where we both have class at the same time
>make sure my class starts before his and ends after his is over
>leave for class early
>wait for him to leave
>go back to the dorm
>lift his mattress from the box spring
>shit all over the box spring
>put the mattress back
>leave
>wait to come back to the dorm until i know he's back in the room
>"omg, roomie, what the fuck? it smells like shit in here...what on earth happened?"
>blame him endlessly
>gaslight him nonstop, say "maybe your meds make you forgetful?
>tell everyone on dorm room floor that my roommate likes to shit between the mattress and box spring
>say "probably some trans fetish"
>put fliers all around campus with his picture
>put the caption "watch out for poop pirates!!!"
>tell him, casually, that the 8th floor doesn't have any screens on the windows, and that they're all unlocked
>set up a chair outside the dorm building
>have some brews
>wait for him to inevitably jump
>film it
>put it on liveleaks

I dont mind.
I welcome them and get to know them then have sex with them ez.

Tell him to keep his shit on his side of the room

>"I understand that you are clearly homosexual but, tights? Really?."

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Actually kek'd, here's a (You)

>arrive at university
>obese literal troonjak is my roommate
>looks like an irl version of pic related
True story.

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What did you do? Are friends? Is it awkward? Be honest.

I enjoyed reading your post user.

Goddam! You need better hobbies yo! Look at the title of this picture, the only reason you would tag it so much, is if you had petabytes of the same data, fuck me. Do you use a bot Mr. White?

Woah what a sick burn bro!!!!!!!

rip a wet brap to assert dominance

A god amongst men. Which is what is in the picture of OP.

You forgot to ask him if he shit when he was being fucked. Trap discharge?

we BUTTFUCK

True. Sick burn on this fag.

Pic related pretty much sums up that year. Cool guy. Wish I stayed in contact.
Don't even need to bother tagging when there's a site full of chuds who do it for me

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