What is having autism like

>The disconnect between who you think you are and who you actually are is enormous. It's hard for your to improve at a skill because you have no idea where you're at on the tiers of bad to good.
It happens even when you are humble and skeptical about yourself.

Is being there and not being really there at all. Every social interaction ends in an exercise of futility

>The disconnect between who you think you are and who you actually are is enormous. It's hard for your to improve at a skill because you have no idea where you're at on the tiers of bad to good. You'll get outraged when people laugh at you (for being a fool) because in your head you think you're awesome and can't imagine anything funny about your greatness.
This is not autism, that's narcissism.

sensory issues are the most noticeable thing for me, scraping noises or feelings mainly
i have very little capacity for social norms if i find them illogical, wasteful or just dont understand why they exist
extreme discomfort doing new things or new places etc leads to an urge to isolate myself in my room
even playing new games, listening to new types of music, new anything really is hard to do. requires a lot of mental bandwidth and focus to learn it when i could just do what i usually do
always wondering what people think of me, if how i act or what i say will make them think something about me because i have very little ability to read it in their faces/ subtext of words
i can get stuck for hours on a puzzle/ riddle even when the answer is simple just because that way of thinking didnt occur to me and instead i spent hours overanalyzing

Just kind of socially blind, like I have trouble telling if someone is trying to be friendly with me, mocking me, making fun of me, also people just dislike you for no reason and you have no idea why, studies show that normies have an inherent dislike of autists body language. This makes it hard to make friends unless you can get past that initial hurdle and even its a challenge to make friends.

There are a lot of different types of autism. The distinction I want to talk about it induced vs physical autism. Physical autism means ur fucked bad. Thyroid development lacking, maybe you fucked up your brain somehow, or a trove of other reasons.
The one I want to focus on is the induced autism. Most people on here, if not physically autistic, have some form of it, ranging a lot in extremity. It's a lack of proper socialization, maybe being a late bloomer or just getting unlucky. You don't know how to talk to people, how to interact, recognize facial patterns, or much of that.
This is arguably worse because of the wasted potential, but there is more hope because after some time you can slowly get over it with normal socialization
The internet is arguably one of the worst things to happen, the instant dopamine and socialization fucks people up bad and big time.

You have an idea of reality that will be forever unattainable.

Your inner understandings and comprehensions do not match the reality around you.

You don't meet reality on it ls own terms and have meltdowns when confronted with it.

Obviously it has varying intensity from person to person but in all actuality it is an artificial barrier created by the mind.

As such it can actually be overcame, but this requires extreme, often intolerable afford which is rarely heard of.

Jesus christ this thread is full of fucking hipster niggers.

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>The disconnect

People don't get and and that's fine but it's absolutely terrifying when you actually figure it out.

To make it kinda simple, when I talk to myself or a mirror, I can produce a wide range of faciel expresions and voice tonalities but when I try talking to so somebody sober, I just look like a massive retard. Like Rainman... I hate it. Occasionally I can trick women into thinking I'm interesting but it doesn't last long. I'm the last year inta a degree in audio production and I've come to realise now that most of the work you're ever going to get is from someone liking you.

Sometimes I think I'm okay and start a new friendship group but then I get back to realising that I got lucky and said the right thing at the right time. I'm 5'3 so nobody really has any respect for my on a physical level either, I was bullied by most of the other spergs in school but I still hold some optimism.

All I have to do is go out with some people get wasted and then meet a nice girl on the walk home, it's happened before and now I've recently cut my hair so I don't look like a spaz.

Everything will be comin' up millhouse...

>Maybe he's in the denial phase
kek

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I was diagnosed with autism when I was four. Other people think I'm creepy and weird because of my monotone voice, lack of facial expressions, and lack of eye contact. I don't understand things like facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, or social rules so I don't understand other people very well either. Above all else, my biggest obstacle to socializing is simply that I never know what to talk about. I get more attached to objects than people, even attributing emotions to them. I do repetitive things like aimlessly pacing back and forth to regulate my emotions. Even though I appear emotionless I am actually very emotional and am prone to fits of rage, anxiety attacks, and spells of depression. I needed to go to occupational therapy for many years and I couldn't do things like dresssing myself, writing, or brushing my teeth independently until I was around 12.