Be drunk

>be drunk
>want food
>go to any food delivery service website
>all food items are several dollars more than on the restaurant's website
>website charges ~$15 in "fees"
>this does not include the tip which is required or nobody will take the order
Normies order this shit all the time? How the fuck do they afford it? Is this why they say they're always broke?

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delivery apps are shit tier. I refuse to use them because of the exorbitant price and I don't want some aids ridden nigger to spit in my food when they see my white name. just find some place with their own delivery drivers like a pizza place or something.

I thought I was desperate (read: drunk) enough that I could stomach the cost but it's still too ridiculous
>just find some place with their own delivery drivers like a pizza place or something.
I usually do but dammit I want some Japanese food and none of them have delivery aside from these shitty apps

You can just put delivery to Andre or some shit with a name that sounds both non white and white. You don't actually have to have it delivered to your real name

Just say Dayquan and say he's your bf

>Learn to cook
>Fall asleep while cooking
>Burn your house down

ride your bike there unless you live in some suburban hell hole

Checked
I live in some suburban hellhole

In Italy delivery fee is two euros and dont need to tip driver
Why are delivery apps so retarded in America

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Jews are greedy
Drivers think they should make as much from tips as drivers for dedicated restaurants even though they're taking one or two orders an hour

>learn to cook
>try to cut carrots
>slice off your fingertip

champ here's a protip. if you literally can't cook at all, buy the following:

>potato flakes
>shredded cheese
>salt

garlic is a plus but not necessary

get a tupperware, microwave safe bowl. fill it half-way with potato flakes. toss in some shredded cheese, maybe a bit of butter if u want, and lots of salt and maybe garlic
go to the sink and turn on hot water, slowly fill the container a little bit at a time and stir
once it's at the consistency u want, put it in the microwave with the cover on but not sealed, you want like 10% of the opening actually open so steam can release. never close it all the way it might explode
then cook it for a minute
when it's done, stir it a bit more and eat it

NOW YOU HAVE INSTANT MASHED TATERS CHAMP

I'm not broke because I make 10x the median household income. Your problems are not my problems anymore.

>I make 10x the median household income
how?

I passed a Google coding interview. Still got down-leveled but it was more than 2x my existing compensation so I took it. I'm hoping to get a promotion worth another $75k in the next six months.

>How the fuck do they afford it?
since time is money and my time is worth ~$70/hr according to my employer, I figure do I want to spend my time going to pick that shit up myself, or should I just stomach the additional bullshit fees and tips that probably amount to $15? if the place is a ~10min walk I'll go get it, but usually not worth it if I have to drive. needless to say it's pretty stupid to pay this much more than a couple times each month in just fees / delivery charges. I also try to get things that I can eat multiple times so at least the cost is spread out over multiple meals

Don't get me wrong I can afford it but I just can't justify paying twice the cost that it would be otherwise
I can cook, I'm just drunk and don't want to
Thanks for the protip tho dad

This is why I'm happy I can walk to mutliple chain restaurants, multiple sit down places, and multiple grocery stores from my apartment. I don't live in a big city either, just good location from my apartment.

>Don't get me wrong I can afford it but I just can't justify paying twice the cost that it would be otherwise
You'd likely pay the same amount for gas, insurance, your time, etc. At least with Doordash you benefit from economies of scale.

OP, I hope you're still in this thread, because there's a free trick you can use: basically, make three different UberEats accounts (preferably on different devices to make is easy) and then just wait until they throw coupon codes at you. 50% off, $10 off, etc. Still pricey but it's far more reasonably priced that way.

It would cost me about $6 in gas at most, take about 30 minutes round trip, I already pay for insurance so I can get to work so I wouldn't count that
Since I'm not getting paid for my time regardless I'm not losing money by driving either so its just ~30 minutes I can spend listening to stories on youtube
The biggest issues here are that I'm drunk and terrified of human interaction
I have a bunch of the 50% off ones but they want me to order $50 worth of food for it to count