Self-harm and mental health general. Previous thread Self-harm is a disgusting and addicting habit that will worsen your life. Do not, under any circumstances, start harming yourself. I can't stress this enough, do not cut if you've never done it. If you have any self-harm urges, please seek professional help. Seek treatment, it's never too late. Your life will not change until you instigate change. Change is good, no matter negative or positive because change will lead to more change. Change is a catalyst. >How are you?
I'm mainly starting this thread to check on Pokeanon and Kranusanon, I hope y'all are doing well. I apologise if I'm not very active, I'm not in a good mental state.
haven't self harmed in a while. I'm on disability for mental problems and been homeless and will be again soon. I'm withdrawing from benzos because I have been selling my pharmaceutical drugs for money. I don't spend the money on drug but I'm tempted to do lots of meth. I have barely kept a meal down in a month because the withdrawal I think.
I'm on the fence about selling hard drugs but owe people money for non drug related reasons.
I have noticed after the fact of course psychotic instances and hope I don't go too far. I keep seeing the same people in impossible instances.
I enjoy nothing. I get treated like a punching bag. people dislike that I get "free money" but I have severe mental health issues and I'd rather work and come home enjoy somethin..
Jace Foster
how 2 stop doing only pussy cuts?????HALP!!! gib me motivation to do deep ones gaia
Adam Rogers
im sorry man. i wouldnt sell narcotics if i were you, prisoners dont look too favorably to self harmers. youre not getting free money, youre getting much needed help. pussy cuts are more than enough!!
Jonathan Bailey
>How are you? It's rough, anxiety is acting up but it's been easing up >Got anything to do? Hopefully write a lot, maybe get out some too. >Got any goals, long-term or short-term? Survive, fix my economic situation. >Are you clean? If so, I'm proud of you, keep it up. Clean, but I just got some razorblades and even if I haven't, and probably won't, use them it's comforting to know I have relief at hand.
Escalating isn't the way to proceed, my dude. Pussycuts are more than enough if you need quick relief, but seek help instead of seeking deeper slices.
Thanks for reminding me. I am gonna go cut myself.
Oliver Brown
>>How are you? Low I think, I don't really know. >>Got anything to do? Nothing, only distractions. I should clean my files and folders but I don't have the motivation to do it, stuff just keep piling up; since the /write/ general exists I've been tempted to write, maybe it would be better than depressing more myself over the fact that I can't draw, but the motivation lacks even for that. >>Got any goals, long-term or short-term? No goals whatsoever. If you consider offing myself a goal then that would be it. >>Are you clean? If so, I'm proud of you, keep it up. Almost a month I guess, I'm not counting the days, but I am tempted to cut lately and try to make deeper cuts for more visible scars - about this the thing is that impostor syndrome kicks in and makes me think that because my scars are barely visible and not so wide I am faking it all. I know that every form of damaging yourself in any degree is self-harm, my mind seems to have hard time to process this sometimes.
Nathaniel Russell
stay hydrated lads don't drink and cut
Andrew Nguyen
Have a flash of creativity. Have this OC in mind. Want to draw her. Can clearly see her and the scenario. Can't draw because it makes me depressed. I hate so much not being able to draw in a healthy way. I hate this curse. I'd unironically trade my withered soul to the devil if it would make me able to draw like I want.
Cooper Williams
Of course it's best not to but no one can help you go deeper, only you.
Luis Martinez
Holy shit You guys are a bunch of fucking faggots Hahahahahhahahah Imagine cutting yourself Hahahaha Fucking retards
Evan Hill
i finally got out of bed after a nap i feel so much more tired than before i layed down desu
as an outsider I am genuinely curious why you do this if you are older than 15, I understand wanting relief or associating pressure with pain but I want to knw why (you) do it.
don't do that, punish your self with the pain of lifting heavy things. it's goooood
Grayson Morales
Anons, find the axillary pulse, and stab yourself there. There is really no point. Just do it and relieve yourself.
Charles Scott
I don't know, one day I was feeling bad and began doing it. There wansn't even an external influence that gave me the idea of cutting myself. About what it does, it depends on the moment: I might be feeling paranoic or anxious so it helps me returning lucid; I might be feel so I just do it; stress release; and so on.
Jose Brooks
Because it makes me feel more relieved than anything else, I get more satisfaction after covering my arm in cuts than I do from completing other work or lifting things or a sunset or anything really. It just makes me feel satisfied with myself.
Sebastian Martinez
im not actually here, but bump
William Miller
Bump. Remember to stay cool.
Ryan Edwards
I see we had the same idea
Bentley Green
im so fricking bored ahhhhh
Elijah Lee
lmao slef-harming is for fucking pussies. If you really hate yourself just kill yourself.
John Smith
Checked. Good morning.
Grayson Clark
>How are you? Was better than usual yesterday but now shit again. >Got anything to do? Videogames. >Got any goals, long-term or short-term? none i can think of, i guess just cut and survive and maybe apply to college/university again though i probably won't make it that far there. >Are you clean? If so, I'm proud of you, keep it up. Never really clean, just taken some pauses. Rigth now clean for more than a month but i don't think it counts as i will cut as soon as i have posted this. Can't just anymore. >first aid for post cutting Thanks.
Matthew Stewart
hypoxia and starvation feel kinda the same. feel really weak and have impaired motor function. my stomach hurts a lot more right now though
Nathan Ross
i miss being alone in my apartment. im sure my neighbors could hear me still, but at least i was still able to scream if i felt too much anguish. now my quote, family, unquote, could hear me, so i cant
Hudson Bailey
Hey suianon, glad to see you, how is your day going? >How are you? good right now, just got home from work, I always feel better on fridays >Got anything to do? play vidya, watch anime >Got any goals, long-term or short-term? finish dying light 1 >Are you clean? If so, I'm proud of you, keep it up. no i wouldnt say so, I havent cut in like a week but i probably wont stop anytime soon
Thomas Hughes
>How are you? pretty shit >Got anything to do? kenshi >Got any goals, long-term or short-term? just to live currently >Are you clean? If so, I'm proud of you, keep it up. yeah 4 days again
>glad to see you Thank you, that means alot >how is your day going? My day was terrible and good at the same time. I spent half of it taking care of my family's needs and the other half at the mechanic's trying to get my shitbox to run properly. Terrible because I feel like shit, good because I had to be outside the house doing shit all day, so I couldn't just lie in bed and rot. Thanks for asking.
Levi Gonzalez
I saw now what digits I got, lucky one
James King
it makes me feel something you know what's worse than feeling pain? not feeling anything have a track youtube.com/watch?v=WKQYMOpSDoM
>How are you? drunk. Haven't been able to motivate myself to do anything for the past week >Got anything to do? Not really, I've occupied my time by modding lego star wars and writing shit for the DnD campaign I'm running >Got any goals, long-term or short-term? No >Are you clean? If so, I'm proud of you, keep it up. no
Logan Stewart
i feel like shit fighting the urge to get drunk is hard
Nolan Morales
shout out to whoever made this art, it goes hard as fuck
Owen Wood
I think it was OGcutanon, the one that made the first thread of the general. I hope he is alright.
Connor Carter
>I hope he is alright. I hope so too. The last I heard from him is when he just got out of a psych ward and had a few psych ward buddies to buy his shrooms. Wonderful guy, hope he's doing well.
Or at least hurt yourself in a way that doesn't scar, like hitting yourself or dipping your fingers in hot coffee or dripping wax on your skin
Julian Collins
>hitting yourself not as satisfying but i do punch the wall to help me sstay clean >dipping your fingers in hot coffee scalding scars look worse >dripping wax on your skin wax scars suckk, plus its not self controlled as cutting. feels foreign, impersonal.
Owen Russell
Choking myself, and squeezing down really hard on my nuts, also hurt pretty good
Nicholas James
>i do punch the wall to help me sstay clean ugh you reminded me that i punched a hole in my wall when i was drunk the other day ._.
Mason Garcia
thats a new coping tactic lmao
Landon Russell
>scalding scars look worse >wax scars suckk Huh I've burned myself those ways and it never scarred. With the hot drinks that might just be because I'm a pansy who can't tolerate pain long enough for it to leave a mark. Not sure about the wax tho
Aiden Butler
>squeezing down really hard on my nuts I bend my cock the opposite direction of its erect position until I feel some kind of pain, feels good
Josiah Campbell
step your game up and use a torch lighter seriously though, don't I tried it just for a split second and it stung like hell
am cuddling my pillow right now im imagining its him kind of cozy but it also makes me sad
Landon Collins
I hope that is an old photo... Take care Suianon
Jordan Cook
a week ago i cut and let the blood pool onto the floor, iv never noticed how gooey and firm a pool of coagulated blood can be
Jordan Richardson
I wish I still wanted to cut. I'm too disgusted by this vessel. Only suicide.
Austin Cooper
Wax is bitch shit.
Nathan Cook
>how are you pretty nice, well thought a lot about my last suicide attempt earlier and thought maybe i should go out and buy some rope, but those thoughts have gone away so im chilling now i guess >got anything to do? not really, i maybe need to pick a new book to read since i just finished my current one earlier, but too tired to decide what to read next >got any goals none. id like to die for my own sake but feel too guilty because i know i have people who would get super depressed if i offed myself, so i guess all i do now is spend my time trying to make those people happy becase ill never be. it gets tiring living for other people though but oh well >are you clean kind of? well not really i cut a lot yesterday, but i think im giving it up now at least for a bit because my im seeing my gf soon and dont want to worry her too much, so ill at least try to stop for that reason, though today i had really strong urges and played with my cutter a lot, but i did at least manage to not cut. well see how this i can keep it up. i already miss it haha
Can I get some love too cutbros? Not suicidal or morbidly depressed but I've been cutting myself for about 13 years now, probably some ocd or schizoid type shit but who cares.
Question: What's the worst cut you've ever done to yourself and how did you deal with it? (psychologically I mean). I'm usually a pussy cutter with very few noticeable scars, so I get curious on how you mofos deal with daily social interactions and such
Nicholas Murphy
And why don't you try to love yourself?
Noah Smith
>I get curious on how you mofos deal with daily social interactions and such I don't. I try not to directly avoid them but to stay away from them, I am not good at interacting with people in general.
Andrew Diaz
I gotta bump for life
Noah Jones
im not here, but im page 5 bumping cause back to sleep
Ryder Torres
0 days now
James Bennett
>How are you? same shit different day but id imagine living as a neet and doing nothing but eat and sleep for days isnt very fulfilling >Got anything to do? have a few fairly important videos to edit for the next couple days but cant be asked to start on any of them >Got any goals, long-term or short-term? theres those videos i mentioned, but theres also music projects collecting dust i gotta check on lol >Are you clean? If so, I'm proud of you, keep it up. kinda wish i whacked myself with a filled compressed air canister rather than an empty one i wonder how much thatd fuck my bones up
Zachary Martinez
forgot to mention getting silicone scar gel theyre starting to get way too obvious with the discoloration lol
Colton Sullivan
>How are you? Doing fine right now. >Got anything to do? Well i have work later but im just playing some games right now. >Got any goals, long-term or short-term? Not really, no. Im just going with the flow for now. >Are you clean? If so, I'm proud of you, keep it up. No.
Why are all the games nowadays so shit? Maybe its the nostalgia but i want to go back to playing new good games with my friends. It gets harder to cope and distract myself every year.
why is my sleep so trash lately ._. ive never had this problem
Gavin Walker
>Why are all the games nowadays so shit? >Maybe its the nostalgia Subjectivity is a thing so it's hard to tell why games are bad and if they are bad, there are indeed some games that are overall bad and se that have few things bad. Of course nostalgie plays its part. Can't make a bigger explanation now.
Charles Gray
That's OGcutteranon's OG picture, the one that started the threads. I hope he's doing well, I really hope so.
>i already miss it haha Stay strong, user.
It's ok, user, tomorrow's a new day. You can just try again later, it's never too late and there's always hope. Don't give up.
>wonder how much thatd fuck my bones up It'd do some damage, glad you didn't.
A sudden change in sleep pattern is indicative of mental unease. Your brain's trying to work through some shit, maybe some shit youre dealing with too.
Henry Myers
>Your brain's trying to work through some shit, maybe some shit youre dealing with too. ugh great, so i cant even escape him im my sleep?
Nathan Cooper
>so i cant even escape him im my sleep? Overtime, if you don't try to deal with your brain's less desirable thoughts, they'll leak into your unconscious mind. That started happening to me years ago, now I hate sleep. It's just my brain showing me my greatest fears and struggles and I'm unable to fight back.
Parker Wood
sounds awful, sorry to hear that i just hope my sleep paralysis demon doesnt come back :>
Christian Thomas
>tfw i have the emotional maturity of a teenage girl going through an emo phase
i dont know what to do. cant cut. nothing i do is enjoyable. dont care about eating. i just wish i had the balls to end it. a whole month of not eating just to kill myself seems like a hassle. i dont care about hurting my family or leaving my dogs anymore. im just too much of a pussy to go through with it.
Nathaniel Scott
i got into cutting myself for like 2 weeks until i came to the realization that self harm scars are permanent... is this true? if i cut less deeper will the scars fade eventually?
Jace Hernandez
the point of cutting yourself is catharis, not to make yourself look cooler. "pussy cuts" don't exist
I don't cut myself but I feel a weird kinship with these threads, every time I see them bumped I wonder if everyone here is doing okay. What have you done so far today?
Angel Moore
i have never cut myself or anything yet im going to kill myself in no more than 11.5 months unless i do way more than i seem capable of
Asher Rivera
Break your goals down into small steps and work on them one step at a time. It's good to start small and sometimes getting one thing done leads to getting more done, if you can keep up the momentum.
Henry Scott
i can't stop thinking about how far behind i am also i can't do anything productive most days because everything brings to mind small yet crushing memories i've been in therapy of questionable quality and on potentially inappropriate meds, for over half a year on nothing and i lost a lot of weight and feel better physically i was overtly depressed but as much not anymore yet my wish to die has increased because i still havent achieved anything and except for irregularly learning programming i'm not on a path to this is spam
i didn't address your message at all, sorry breaking getting a regular job into small tasks is adequate it's adequate for most things sorry i regret writing g'day
Daniel Wood
of course. we tend not to post our self harm marks, but were happy to read your vents and what not
Chase Morales
did some chores and rotted in bed newfag, we used to post a lot of cuts
Henry Murphy
At least you did chores, your environment is slightly better than before. Which is nice even if you go back to bed.
You don't have to say sorry. I know the feeling of worrying about being behind. Finding the right therapist/method of therapy and the right meds can be really difficult and it can be demotivating, I sympathize.
Something that keeps me from wanting to die is the fact that I haven't done anything yet. It makes me want to stick around long enough to have myself put effort into something.
Even if you're not on a path to program, sometimes just learning something can be worthwhile.
But yeah, maybe make a list of super small steps towards getting a job? Do you have anything you enjoy doing, like a hobby? Focusing on that in edition can make working towards life stuff seem less like a horrible grind.
Lincoln James
not house chores, I just did some outdoor shit for my parents.
Lucas Collins
i am new, but i feel attentionwhorey when i show my cuts anywhere. not too many people post them nowadays either.
Jaxson Reed
Hello. I am ok today. Coming back down. Sorry for the things I said and posted over the past few days.
It's ok Kranusanon, shit happens, I understand you were going through rough phase and is hard to deal with during and after it. I hope you get to relax a little now, you deserve it.
Mason Martinez
>hanging out with group of people I don't know very well >one of them asks about my scars >try to change the subject, but she persists >starts making obviously wrong guesses >did I fall off a bike, is it a sports injury, is it from rock climbing, etc >eventually snap and say I did them to myself >she says "You mean you blame yourself, because if you were better at riding a bike you wouldn't have fallen off?" >"No, I mean I literally cut them into my arm with a knife" >she pauses and gives me a disgusted look >"Yeah, obviously. I was trying to give you an easy out to save your dignity"
Bitch, if you care so much about "saving my dignity", why did you ask in the first place?
Jaxon Foster
That's fucking garbage behaviour on her part. That's such a shitty thing to do.
Adrian Adams
Thank God you're ok, Kranusanon. You don't have to apologise, we get it. This will happen again, as it does with each and every one of us. So, now you have to find a better way of channeling that pain. Glad you're feeling better, Kranusanon. Now I gotta wait for Pokeanon to post here.
Fuck her. Normies are extremely annoying most of the time. I'm sorry that happened to you, user.
Camden Bell
Typical normalfag behavior, no sense of boundaries with an immutable faith that they are doing the right thing. Sucks that you had to experience that.
Jacob Harris
The amount of idiocy is incredible
Robert Cox
I cut myself once two years ago and the scars havent gone away. Am I cursed? One of my biggest fears is someone asking about them
Ian Davis
Well could you send a pic? It may be less noticeable than you think.
Oliver Bennett
Here is my wrist under a lamp. I usually wear a watch to hide them but its not very effective
Not to be rude but thats nothing, no ones gonna see. If they do just say you gashed it in a bike accident or something, that which you can see doesnt look much like sh.
Jace Harris
Not rude at all, I feel better now. Thank you user
Brayden Ortiz
Honestly, unless the lighting makes it look way different you could probably be in a relationship and never wear a watch without anyone noticing.
Colton Long
Here it is under different lighting that I think is more accurate to how it looks irl
Yeah seems fine, doesnt look like cutting so you could easily lie, its not like you have a bunch of red lines and are trying to lie about it.
Jack Anderson
Once I'll reach the wrist it'll be over; there is still more space.
Nathan Brooks
Mine probably will fade sometimes in the future but right now, the ones of almost a month ago (and some even before), looks like this. The darker area you see is due to scratching with nails the first time I tried to cut: basically I tried to cut myself for the first time ever out of stress and anxiety and just couldn't, so out of anger for myself I began scratching with nails till it bled a little; now I cut every once and then when I feel the urge due to whatever is happening to me
does biting yourself to the point of it leaving a mark and bruises count as self harm
Joshua Thompson
>stay strong, user got into a fight with my gf and feel less than human and like i deserve no one lol, i really wish she would break up with me already so i can stop bringing her down. anyway i was really excited to record some music tonight which i havent done in months but got a huge bit of motivation and have been looking forward to it all day, but after this fight, all motivation has gone out the window and all i've done is stare at the wall for 2 hours now. nothing can fix this feeling of emptiness and lethargy except cutting. its all i can think about as its the only thing that i know 100% would fix this feeling and make me an actual human again. still debating on whether or not to cut. i would like to because as i said, its the only thing that can possibly make me happy and restore my motivation and fix me, but i know its a selfish act and would make me feel guilty, plus my gfs not an idiot and could probably assume it was her fault i cut again. i wouldnt feel so guilty if i could cut and convince her it was unrelated to her, but i think shes too smart for that unfortunately. i want to cut to punish myself, but thats just a lie to myself, to cut would be a reward and a means to justify feeling so shitty, i guess the real punishment would be to force myself not to cut and just stare empty at a wall and give up on all my plans for the next few days, it just feels awful but i guess its what i deserve. idk hopefully i can just stop caring about the guilt and slice away, i wish it didnt make me feel guilty
That sucks, user. Do you genuinely want her to break up with you? If so, why not tell her you're not stable enough to be in a relationship? Also, the guilt is good. Once the guilt goes away, it never comes back. Guilt mean you care and caring is good.
Hunter Cooper
I really hate all you faggots and hope you cut down the lane one day.
I long for the days back when Any Forums used to troll all you underage losers with Linkin Park music.
advice on dating a girl who used to cut? any triggers?
Jose Bennett
i never went into fat and am a pussy and my scars will never fade and if i hang out with anyone without a jacket they will notice them and i will face complete social suicide yeah you already fucked up unless you only have a couple enjoy now being completely emasculated and your self confidence destroyed lol!!!!! i am very fucking bitter
I long for the days when Any Forums was just used by the autists, the socially inept, and the mentally ill. True robots. Before all you Any Forums, Any Forums, and tumbler refugee newfags invaded. Any Forums used to be a gem surrounded by horse manure, it's saddening nowadays. Anyways, the past has passed us. Thanks for the free bump.
Juan Rodriguez
shake a knife at her and go "oogie boogie"
Levi Jackson
>UHHH IS THAT MENTALLY ILL PEOPLE ON THE MENTALLY ILL PEOPLE BOARD IM GOING INSANE AAAAAAAAAA Any Forumsniggers are failed normalfags you just need a weaker faggot to look down on. Gtfo my board normalniggef
Alexander Jones
I'll repeat myself, each and everytime I'll see this: once I've reached the wrist all of you will be happier but there is still plenty of room on both forearms. >any triggers? The specific triggers of course vary from person to person but be wary to some more general triggers so to say: blades, scars, cuts, blood, perhaps even talking about it might give the temptation. Can't give any relationship advice. Sadly. Sigh...
Tyler Gray
are (ex) cutters kinky?
Camden Stewart
lol
thanks. i want to be supportive
Matthew Bailey
>thanks. i want to be supportive not that user. but as long as you approach the subject with some sensitivity, it should be fine. asking her will go a long way if you have a good relationship.
Austin Reyes
always been kinky, but I don't like anything to do with cutting in an erotic scenario like blade-play if that's what you're asking.
Dylan Wood
we've already talked about it and I'm falling in love, just don't want to do anything insensitive
Brody Davis
I'm very happy for you, user. You're a caring person, you deserve her. I wish you marriage, children, grapevines, and all that is good.
Aiden Howard
Thanks. I hope it works out too
Cameron Jones
hydrate rather than procreate with your hand.
Bentley Murphy
Bumping for pokeanon
Eli Flores
Dont die on me Pokeanon, are you good?
Connor Myers
i do wish she would break up with me. shes the only reason I dont off myself, i live solely to make her happy, however i find myself always just disappointing her, and i know i will continue to do so in the future. i want her to break up with me so that she can sooner get over me and find someone actually decent and maybe have a chance of being happy, if she stays with me, it is impossible she will ever be happy. i will always disappoint and some day im sure i will kill myself even if i am still with her, but of course id much rather her forget about me before i do that. weve been together for 2 years now though so i dont really feel that i can say im not stable enough to be in a relationship, i think my chances of that have long passed. i think if i was the one to break up with her, no matter what, she would blame herself, so it is not an option. i just have to wait until she figures out how awful o am and then maybe finally decides to leave me and then i cut in peace until i eventually go too deep
Nolan Young
what happened to pokeanon?
Colton Young
Whatever you do do not sell drugs and end up in prison user just dont
Aaron Moore
If you're gonna off yourself after she leaves you, then I hope she stays. It sounds like she's the only light in your life.
He left the last thread and I'm just worried about him.
Gavin Wood
>"cutter" >assume you're talking about fitness, bulk/cut >realize it's an edgy self harm thread
either get help or meditate like a normal person, self harm is for pussies brah
Daniel Jackson
Ok thanks for the advice. >Apparently not an original comment
Josiah Jenkins
>get help or meditate Wow thanks I'm cured.
Carson Anderson
>He left the last thread and I'm just worried about him. I think he took the blame of Kranusanon's outburst on himself, but I want to think he just left to sort things out even though I didn't see him doing well.
Mason Martinez
thanks user, im all better now, my dick grew 3 inches, and im practically drowning in pussy. truly one of the greatest thinkers of our time
Nathan Cruz
You will be if you actually bothered to take my advice. See a fucking therapist. Tell someone.
Michael Hill
>it sounds like shes the only light in your life maybe. i just want her to be happy, but i am always failing at that, so i truly think it would be best if she found someone else, but eh i dont think she wants to leave me sadly. so i guess i am doomed to a life of disappointing her and always wanting to hurt myself to make up for it in some way. oh well. i managed at least to not cut myself last night somehow, so i guess thats maybe good. had a few close calls with my parents seeing my scars today lol that was pretty scary. im sure theyll find them at some point and i dont know what ill do then, i will be lost in a sea of anxiety haha but for now i got lucky at least. well i got into a more normal and have been functioning okay today but my gf wants to talk again to try and sort out last night, and all i can think is that it will turn into another fight and well repeat last night again, well see i guess
Not really, therapy isnt some magical thing, for me it simply doesnt help, the only part I liked is I like to talk to people but have a hard time when talking to people so its nice someone completely understood.
Elijah Thomas
Last time I cut myself I was in the midst of a massive overdose. I carved my name into both arms, spelt it wrong both times.
Asher Stewart
>How are you?
Better. In a city on the coast for a job interview. It's super hipster and everyone is young and dresses their best. Makes me feel very self conscious to be around such happy normies. Apart from that I'm just trying to cultivate self compassion and work on my cripplingly low self-esteem.
>Got anything to do? Job interviews tomorrow.
>Got any goals? To become a Latin teacher one day.
Jacob Gutierrez
kekd. i hope youre doing better now though. how long ago was that?
Tyler Murphy
Good luck on your interview. Developing self compassion can be really hard and sometimes it's hard to notice change except for months in the future. Every step forward is a step in the right direction, however small the step is.
Jonathan James
>See a fucking therapist. Tell someone. >gets warded >permnant record of mental illness that disqualifies you from dozens of rights normalfags have >everyone you know will know it now >employers will never hire you now >get put on kike pills to top it off wow haha kys
stardew valley seems cute. never played it desu should i get it?
Jaxson Rodriguez
i ended up cutting my face and neck a bit lol. oh well i cant play games anymore. anytime i try i can only play for 15 mins or so and then get bored and stop caring. i wish i still enjoyed them
Ian Martin
I mean if it seems like your type of game then yeah, its a good game but obviously not for everyone. Recently Ive just been enjoying eu4 as well as metro exodus, both very fun, what about you user?
Owen Green
hmm okay i think i might get stardew valley been playing lots of csgay myself
Jonathan Peterson
Yeah, its only like 15 dollars or something , at the start its slow because you have to water all your plants manually but it gets better.
Asher Allen
highly recommend stardew. wish i could still play it, but when i started, i shared almost all my ingame experiences with her. even though im kinda over her, i cant bring myself to pick up that world again. dont really feel like starting over.
Zachary Gonzalez
okay im gonna get stardew valley and i feel you... it hurts me everytime something reminds me of him....
Dominic Nguyen
Destiny 2, had to recover a month of break and didn't even know the current season was almost over. I didn't play it at all I was on Elden Ring going through a rough patch, it's not over yet but...yeah...sigh
Gavin Murphy
Hopefully not
Damn. It's ok, the road to recovery is bumpy. I too can't play games anymore, I get bored too quickly.
Yeah, some things just remind me of so much pain, I just can't bring myself to try them again.
>going through a rough patch, it's not over yet but...yeah...sigh You'll be fine, user. Just give it time.
Colton Peterson
there is nothing there i dont think... at least i cant see anything
Sebastian Bennett
Drink water or I'll bonk
Thomas Howard
bonk me as hard as you can~
Chase Price
you should message them im sure they wouldnt mind talking to you user
Daniel Young
why relieve the pain with more pain when you can just drink or use drugs lmao dumbasses
Aiden Lee
drinking sucks as a coping mechanism i barely cut when sober desu
Colton Sullivan
>How are you? okay, neither good or bad but with a lot of rage for no reason >Got anything to do? not really >Got any goals, long-term or short-term? not really. i guess graduating from uni is one but its really vague for now. apart from that surviving so that my friends or family dont feel sad. >Are you clean? If so, I'm proud of you, keep it up. yes! 3 weeks. one of my longest streaks yet
>68546621 ive been playing kerbal space program a lot lately. its really fun it might make me want to go for a career on rocket engieneering but thats only if i dont kill myself before.
Noah Powell
proud of you user hope you make it a month
Michael Ross
Kenshi is good
Brody Evans
>You'll be fine, user. I doubt so hard about it, the sky is empty of stars. >Just give it time. Just the time until I'll be away
I hope for people like you that still are good and still are willing to see goodness in the world and in people.
Austin Lee
no sleep again and my head is hurting me -.-
Samuel Allen
>doubt so hard about it, the sky is empty of stars. Indeed it is >Just the time until I'll be away I hope not >I hope for people like you that still are good No where near good. I've been spiraling for a while now, I live without hope. I no longer see the light at the end of this dark, dark tunnel.
Chase Collins
But I do really think it tho, the world needs people like you that are willing to see other people be well and stay well. Everyone these days is so...uncaring. Not even selfish, just uncaring.
Eli Morales
should i lay down and cuddle my pillow or stay up for another 2 hours
Oliver Mitchell
cuddles feeeels
Luke Miller
oke am in bed now :3 >feeeels huh?
Austin Morris
feels for the cuddles cuddles make me sad
Sebastian Smith
Cuddle, even tho I agree with that cuddles with pillow makes me sad.
Cameron Walker
Ok day today. Visited my grandma with my mom and my sister. She is very sweet. I love my grandma. She is losing some of her memory and it makes me sad. Hope anons are well. Just woke up from a nap.
Hey again everyone how was mothers day for all of you?
David Adams
That's nice, Kranusanon. I'm glad you had an ok day.
William Brown
This reminds me of my granpa, he passed away years ago - I'm ashamed to say that I don't remember the year exactly, I think it was 2016 or '17 few days after Christmas. He was perhaps not perfect, after all he was of a completely different generation, but he was a good and caring man on his own. Didn't cry at his funeral, just couldn't, even my brother broke down in tears and he is tougher than me. This always makes me doubt if I ever actually cared for him because to cry for a relative like him, who was present so often in your life, is kind of expected. But I know that once he was gone I stopped visiting their house and my (widow) granma altogether, it's not that I don't wish for my grandma to stay healthy, I do, it's just...I don't know. Perhaps it's just not the same thing. I would be sad the same if she passed away nevertheless.
Parker Robinson
>the road to recovery is bumpy ya, seems so... thanks for talking to me though, it was nice
Xavier Fisher
No, thank you. It was nice.
Jaxson Thompson
Last bump before I sleep (6am). You already know what I pray for.
Jackson Barnes
i feel like i havent slept at all, i hope my pillow enjoyed the cuddles at least
John Martinez
>parents sent me to a horrible boarding school when I was 16 by force >when I couldn't take it anymore I gave myself 16 catscratches with a pair of scissors and showed the fags running the dorm >sent home the next day Hah.. I will always love that memory. It was badass. Have you ever cut yourself to get what you wanted?
Yes. An old abusive ex was being crazy and holding a knife to his arm threatening to hurt himself so I called his bluff and showed him that I could do it better lol
Jaxson Hall
hydration lads hydration, hydration, hydration.
Isaac Williams
i refuse to hydrate bonk me to death plz
Samuel Rodriguez
I love sleeping bump
Robert Brooks
>people who fetishize mental illness
Luke Brooks
pretty sure that's just you fags
Michael Phillips
i just want to cut. i just want off this fucking rock. is that so much to fucking ask for? i cant take it anymore. hope i can gas myself tonight.
Ryan Robinson
I guess it's another day of existence for me, sigh. This is odd but hilarious at the same time
Henry Martin
>Have you ever cut yourself to get what you wanted? No
>hope i can gas myself tonight. I hope not
Same
Brandon Price
Hey homies. I been okay. Growing mushrooms has become my passion recently. My life is pretty meaningless but knowing I have these little guys at home waiting for me keeps me from cutting as much. Yeah they get me high but I feel like they love me. I know I sound insane but I feel a bond unlike anything I've made before. When I was sent to the psychiatric ward the first thing I did was check my farm and they had began to grow. Now I've gone through cycles of growth along with them. I'm shedding my insecurities, losing toxic shame, and putting myself first. I am going out to punk shows every weekend, I probably seem like an ultra normie to some. I still cut honestly, it's too easy and it gives me a rush. I have high highs and the lows used to make me feel low for a real long time. I'm on 2 antidepressants. By the way I haven't said anything because my home ip changed to one that was previously banned indefinitely (pedo) and my pass ran out so I couldn't phone post
I'm glad you've kept the vibes chill here suianon. I love these threads. Also I signed up to do a phlebotomist course because cutting gave me a fascination with blood. I eat my blood, I use iron tablets to keep it healthy.
Jaxon Adams
Holy fucking shit, I'm happy you're still with us OGcutteranon, truly. I'm glad you found a passion that brings you happiness. Becoming a normie is nothing to be ashamed of, it's healthy. You can't imagine the relief I felt when I saw your post, I'm really happy for you. Don't thank me, this is only place I'm honest and it keeps me clean.
Angel Hill
you're a legend round here ogcutanon, thanks for starting the threads
Christopher James
I got a Any Forums pass so I can be on here again. I gotta see the doctor to get prescribed more meds. Little by little I've lost my social anxiety and I've gotten good at talking to strangers. I took the plunge and did a loan for 25 grand. I'm in a shit ton of debt already so it will save me on interest. I'm determined to fix my shitty life
Thanks user I just felt like we've been here and deserved our own space
>I took the plunge and did a loan for 25 grand For shrooms? >I'm determined to fix my shitty life That's so fucking great to hear, you've come a long way ever since the first threads. I'm happy for you.
Jace Richardson
My home wifi was assigned a banned ip and I couldn't phonepost because Any Forums blocks the range
The money is to tackle the shit ton of consooomer debt I have and a portion of it I'll use for building myself. The shroom stuff is in the learning phase right now so I don't need to spend much more than I already have. I'm glad I sound like I'm getting better to you guys, I hope we can make it.
I still would need a pass to phone post. When not at home. I think it changed after turning off for a bit
Matthew Williams
Hydration lads, drink a glass, better your life
Carter Ramirez
Been here since first thread of the general, nice to see you doing better and willing to fix your life.
Kevin Bennett
nyeh heh heh, I'm gonna drink soda and you can't stop me
Jaxson Kelly
based hydrationposter
Jonathan Anderson
Coffee doesn't count, go get some fresh water.
Juan Reyes
am drinking water but the urge to drink wine is hard to resist ._.
Oliver Hernandez
I'm drinking water but I'm also about to eat an entire pizza to myself, so...
Juan Nelson
im sure you can afford the calories anony
Matthew Martinez
I drank coffee today for the first time in a year of abstinence. It was coffee from Tiramisu (you know, the dessert), it made me so sad I wanted to cry (yeah it's ridiculous) because I was kind of proud of doing one year without coffee or alcohol. I forgot that dessert had coffee and I felt like I wasted all that time.
Carson Johnson
based hydrator drink a glass, NOW!
Kayden Roberts
im gonna take a single sip and im gonna slurp as loudly as i can then im gonna cry to cancel out the hydration
Jeremiah Garcia
my psychiatrist just told me i had either atypical depression or schizophrenia there is schizophrenia history in my family and a lot of small reasons to believe this is what I have
Carson Morgan
my shrink also told me i have schizophrenia just because i didnt respond to treatment for depression fuck him desu
Angel Powell
yessir o7
Jace Baker
I'm proud of you too, user. That's not an easy thing to do.
Damn, sorry user
That's not a valid reason to suspect schizophrenia. Get a new shrink, user.
Daniel Jenkins
>>How are you? Better, not by much, still feel shitty most of the time, but better than a few weeks ago >>Got anything to do? probs gonna play VRChat later, gonna do the new War Thunder event for the IS-2 No 321 when that starts too >>Got any goals, long-term or short-term? pass my classes I guess, only goal rn, but when I finish I think imma go for a government job, they pay well and are light on requirements. I guess I also want to work on more tape covers, that's fun to do. >>Are you clean? no, don't feel the urge to, it helps and there hasn't been a reason to do so
>Get a new shrink, user. i havent seen him in over a year anyway, but yea i should get a new one ive been miserable since im off my meds but eh am too lazy
>ive been miserable since im off my meds but eh am too lazy Same, but at least you haven't lost hope
Nolan Jones
forgot to namefag, it's me
>how is this not original
Tyler Hall
I guess there are lots of namefags who forget.
Matthew Hill
avafagging>namefagging wasnt an avafag btw, totally
Joseph Perez
hydraulic hydration and chronic masturbation. pick the former over the latter
Benjamin Adams
>How are you? "Fine" >Got anything to do? Work during the day and good ol' self collision at night >Got any goals, long-term or short-term? Might start looking for a new job, the cycle is kicking in again and everything is dull, could use something new, also being overworked, didn't go to work today >Are you clean? If so, I'm proud of you, keep it up. For 0 days, my left temple still hurts lots, think I stuck my jaw tendon, eating has been quite painful. The swelling should come down soon tho
Was trying to summon my companion in my head but it kept refusing, spent lots of time trying to convince it to come and stay and have cool chats with me all night long, only got a few words and insults out of it
Avafags arent all bad but theres a lot of bad ones.
Caleb Gomez
>That's not an easy thing to do. It's quite easy actually, or at least it was for me because I wasn't addicted to neither of them: coffee was just habit and I don't think it ever did something to me but placebo; never drank alcohol to get drunk and only enjoyed beer. My stomach refused to eat at some point and refused to drink both of them, took advantage of that sickness and cut them from my diet and stay healthier. If I could manage my meals I would eat once a day probably too, a little bit of fasting wouldn't hurt.
To be honest I'm tempted to cut again and summer is the only thing stopping me, I'm thinking of doing one single nice deep cut and blame it to my glass desk. I don't know if it could work but even if I have the boxcutter out of sight I feel it calling for me (not literally, it's just an analogy).
Dominic Murphy
I would namefag but I don't want to get banned, this board is the only place I have to vent and even that is hard for me even considering the anonimity. I know by sight just three of them: Elania avafag, Tomoko avafag and...Yuno with Miku? I haven't interacted with them that much but the Tomoko one seems chill, same goes for Yuno I guess.
Nicholas Perez
im done. im doing it in a few hours. i cant fucking stand this shit any longer. hopefully the starvation and hypoxia keeps me from unlocking my door. i swear to god if i pussy out im going to just starve myself to death. i cant fucking stand my survival instinct. pray to any fucking deity it works this time.
I was working with a boxcutter at work today and I started to feel sick, I can't believe I'm this much of a faggot now.
Carter Nguyen
There is nothing else that I have left to control and the pain is cathartic.
Angel Adams
AND WHAT?
WHAT DO U HAVE TO PROVE IF YOU FUCKING DO IT? THAT YOU GAVE UP? FUCK THAT SHIT. THAT'S GAY AS FUCK. DO YOU REALLY WANNA GO DOWN IN HISTORY AS THAT BITCH? NO, YOU DON'T. YOU MAY SAY YOU DO, BUT IT'S IN YOUR NATURE, YOU'RE HUMAN BABY. YOU'RE THE TOP DOG! SO WHY FUCKING THROW IT AWAY? GET THE FUCK UP, CHUG THAT FUCKING DRINK, AND EAT THAT GOD DAMN HORSE. YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THIS, SO DON'T THROW IT AWAY!
I ain't gonna do this bull shit "Wut About ur Senpai & frens?", fuck that. That's gay as fuck, who cares what they think? SO GET UP, AND FUCKING WIN. DON'T LET THIS BULLSHIT WIN. THE TRUE POKEANON WOULD WAKE UP, AND GO CATCH SUM FUCKING 'MONS.
Pokeanon, don't! Please don't, it's not worth it. Don't give up just now, you've made it this far. I have nothing more to say, you're being foolish. Please stay with us, pokeanon. You haven't even lived just yet.
William Anderson
am i the the only one who cuts the back of the forearm? does everyone else just do the inside/wrist?
Chase Brooks
It would actually be mondo cool if you didn't kill yourself. I heard guys who don't kill themselves are pretty hot. But you know, whatever...
want a girl into cutting herself because i want someone who'd hurt themselves for me.
Jordan Stewart
>I heard guys who don't kill themselves are pretty hot. literally but also true in general
Samuel Torres
if i am to believe my intrusive thoughts, if i ever start harming myself it will be a one off cause i would just finish the job, but i know in reality my will to live is too strong even if things aren't going as good as they could be in my fantasy of a better reality, the mind is an annoying thing
Kevin Flores
Hey man, idk if you're still with us, but I hope you are. I've been where you are. I cut. I attempted suicide several times, one was stopped, another my roommate talked me down, and another just didn't work. I know this sounds cliche and probably your first thought is "good for you but that won't be true for me," I know that because I was you, but I promise, it will get better. Please hang on, if you do you'll look back one day and be proud of yourself that you gutted it out and survived and built a life for yourself.
Alexander Cruz
I've done the back on occasion it's just so bony tho
Sebastian Gray
You're not done, I know you have something to fight against. Don't do this to us. You know we care about you
Justin Cox
have a glass of water and don't kys hydration is key
Carson Harris
>feel the urge to cut again >decide to try and eat a lot to see if that will make me feel better instead >it doesnt and now im bleeding AND im fat
im sweating so much, i wish i didnt have to wear hoodies and long pants ._.
Eli Allen
Existence is so heavy today, I think I'll just on bed and sleep through
Andrew Hill
I managed to go by with just hitting myself while occasionally looking at a blade but never doung it. But in my very late 20s I actually ended up doing it for a few months while drunk. At first with a comb(which left a big scar) and then towards the end with pussy blade cuts. It's been some time since, as the corona years were honestly great due to the removal of most stress factors, but now the urge is back. I pressed the knife into the skin for now without getting a proper cut yet, but it's worsening. I am still too much of a pussy to see a doctor and somehow nobody questioned me wearing long arms all throughout the summer when the family came together. I just wanted to finally get this out for once. The next few days and weeks will likely change a lot. Thanks for not reading and have a better one.
Juan Gray
this is so fucking gay its so fucking hard to make decent cuts with these shitty tiny little blades i pulled out of disposable razors where are you all getting box cutters from
Luis Cruz
water = good not water = gay
Owen Price
what if i am gay :o
Camden Hill
thanks user. i think you ultimately put the doubt in my mind. granted i couldnt get up anyways. sorry for all the fuss sui ive attempted a few times. its not thats its bad, its that i am who i am. i put myself in these situations. i truly think i have an executive function disorder.
Slept 2 hours more or less, feel completely not ok today. >CAPTCHA mistyped This proves it
Mason Sanchez
Being suicidal is pretty normal for us, but the speed in which you go from one suicidal post to another is not normal. I know all you fags bitch and moan about how therapy doesn't work, but what other options are there? I dislike being too blunt in these threads because I'm terrible at conveying tone via text, but I gotta try. One day, very far away I hope, I will an hero. It's not a matter of discussion because it's not based on emotions. I will live for as long as I can because I have somethings I need to achieve, but once I achieve them, I will go gently into that good night. I'm already in college and I have a shitty freelance job because I can't trust myself to stay alone with my thoughts for too long. I believe neeting will kill us all. The mind needs to be occupied lest it starts pondering its existence. Just because you survived one night, or ten, of these destructive thoughts doesn't mean you'll survive the next one. I hate saying this because it sounds normie as fuck, but you have to grab your life by the balls. Much of what is correct. You have to find a way to get better, no matter how much you fight your mind, he always wins in the end, no matter how strong you think you are, your mind is stronger. So, what's the plan? Try to survive another night? Try to live the same way you've been living and expecting things to change? That's completely idiotic and borderline retarded. While this is a reply to Pokeanon, it's meant for us all. I'm glad you're still with us Poke, but you won't be for long if you keep going down the road you're going down.
Please, do not let your mind control you, force it to play by your rules.
Jaxson Cooper
What have you fags got to lose? Go to therapy, take the fucking meds, get a job or an education, doesn't matter how shitty the wage or how shitty the college of choice, do something. Sitting around like this, we're all just an heros waiting to be posted. The vast majority of you haven't even scratched rock bottom, don't let your mind tell you otherwise. It's also extremely foolish to just believe what you were told to believe. Secularism and atheism aren't for everyone and they sure as hell aren't the only way of think about life. Religion and spirituality have been the corner stone of the human experience ever since the dawn of time, don't just go with the zeitgeist of capitalist atheism. Find out the truth for yourself. Visit a church, a mosque, a Buddhist temple, anything. Learn about how the rest of the fucking world function and lives good lives while having the equivalent of horse shit as their main capital. Do not fool yourselves into thinking you can't be helped. This life was given to you, cease it. I know I sound mildly insane, but that's because I am. Do not conform to society's needs and expectations, create your own. Grab life by the balls and twist them till they scream in agony.
Do not lose hope, anons. Do not lose hope. Don't turn into me.
Benjamin Perry
meds make my brain go brrrr
Isaiah Sanchez
drink a glass, regain your youth
Hunter Campbell
A glass of what desu?
Levi Gonzalez
Honesty appreciated, at the very least. >Do not lose hope, anons. Do not lose hope. >Don't turn into me. I did. In one or two months I'll have within 2 years because I don't think I want to go beyond 25yo, I can't stand life and the only time I am giving is for any inforeseen event that might turn my life around. I already tried to best my mind and my thoughts, I really did, and I failed - there is no amount of therapy that can cure me and even my family would live better without me. I truly believe this. I am in the endgame.
Adrian Roberts
Do you guys not care about how stuff tastes anymore?
I wanna kill myself.
Joshua Watson
The absolute audacity that bitch of my mother has make me so fucking mad, I'm gonna cut and won't care for anything else if they see they don't see. I'm done, I'm so done.
Brayden Hughes
I knew it, she cares only if it is my brother. I knew that I am the black sheep of the family. Can't wait to fucking kill myself and never see them ever again.
Jaxson Peterson
Get off this board Alex you're a fucking normalnigger
Matthew Sanchez
whole thread full of crybabys listen.
IF YOU WANT TO STOP CUTTING DO THIS: >take 2 grams of magic mushrooms >realize how big of a faggot crybaby you are >realize you can just not be a faggot crybaby
you are now cured. if you are ok with cutting yourself and bitching about your parents you should be more than fine with taking shrooms and bettering yourself.
Brayden Lee
Ive taken lots of psychedelics, still the same. I also dont cry about it, I just like me cuts, it helps, simple as.
Charles Nguyen
>squeezing down really hard on my nuts Aay, I do this too but also hit my nuts with punches or a ruler
Angel Rivera
not a great day but i'm doing good enough, mom got pissy, i didn't pass an exam and overall the atmosphere today sucked. had to hide my knives away earlier today but i'm doing fine after i talked to my therapist, lucky i had a visit with him today. everyone seems to be having a bad day today, i'm not really in the mood in talking to anyone today and i feel bad about kinda ignoring my friend. gonna go to bed in a bit and hope for a better tomorrow.
Samuel Bell
In a sexual or self harm way?
Kevin Fisher
Does anybody else hit the themself in the head?
Leo Walker
I miss bpdhoonianon, but I hope he never has to come back here.
Michael Ross
>any inforeseen event that might turn my life around. I do too, it's pathetic >I failed You didn't fail, the treatment did. You can still get better. >I am in the endgame. Aren't we all
Food stopped tasting good years ago, now I just stick to cheap cup noodles and half bad fruits.
Damn, sorry user. Just make it through and get to college.
I'm sorry you had a bad day, user. I feel you, I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone either. Hopefully tomorrow'll be better.
Yes
Me too, I didn't say anything because I was afraid of the answer. I really hope he's doing well, he's such a genuine guy. Although he didn't hint to anything last time he posted, I'm still worried. I hope you're well, bpdhoonianon.
Harmful as in risk or pain? Honestly for both probably the thighs, you probably wont hit anything too major, depending on how large yours are you can go awfully deep and its one of the less painful places.
Juan Williams
I can handle pain but never risking my health Thanks for the info : )
Hudson Ramirez
Is there a way to hit myself in the head without bruising myself? I don't want my family to notice.
Robert White
Well of course you could just hit the parts with hair but dont do that user, that'll give you brain damage
Jose Powell
>I do too, it's pathetic I'm just deluding myself but life is so unpredictable, nothing will happen in 2 years until I'll be 25yo. >You can still get better. Not where I am, I can see how over it is. My bones can feel how close I am to the end. >Aren't we all I wish you weren't, I wish for you all to meet your hopes and achieve your goals. >Damn, sorry user. >Just make it through and get to college. School is out of question sadly, probably even a job. I think I can't mentally handle any of them without having any intrusive and passive thoughts; fact is I had since middleschool and I got through half of highschool until it became hard to bear with, and it showed in my declining grades. Probably I'm not even "averagely" smart. And my mother is just...her. She probably has BPD and I probably got it from her, but even if we take this out of discussion she barely seem to care about me and barely knows me although she claims she did both. You can't tell me you don't like the way I (don't) live while you don't know anything about me, you don't know how much I would like to off myself how much I despise waking up how much I despise myself how much I am withered. I think she doesn't stand me because she knows I can't be controlled like my brother and father, I am too chaotic and rebellious, or individualistic, to be parhaps.
Honestly my mind feel so foggy and numb right now, I'm not lucid. I can only try to distract myself on vidya and music, try not to cut and just get through the night.
Ian Lee
I'm pretty sure my skull is thick enough to take it. I like it, helps me calm down during panic attacks.
Jordan King
In a decent mood today. Started new meds yesterday. They added anti psychosis meds to my lexapro. It makes my tummy hurt to be honest. Having Chinese food for dinner tonight. Ive been clean since my outburst. Im sorry again. How are anons today? Share a song youve been listening to. youtu.be/oCEVmf5f9HE
Cooper Stewart
No, I dont mean breaking your skull, when you get a concussion usually the skull doesnt break, theres a reason most boxers and football players become semi retarded, Im sure some anons would disagree but at that point cutting is better because at least its just physical.
Christian Diaz
>>How are you? doing great!! >>Got anything to do? yeah, killing time while waiting for code to compile >>Got any goals, long-term or short-term? yes! goals are the best long term: buy my neighbors vacant lot, which will give me 4 acres instead of 2 short term: finish this project, send it off to the pajeets so they can get all of the credit, courtesy of the "diversity" team that joined the company i work at a few years ago. >>Are you clean? If so, I'm proud of you, keep it up. yessir, just had a wash
Parker Long
Spotted a cutter in the wild. She was serving me at some cinnamon bun place. She was pretty fat, but she had a nice face. I hope she noticed me staring at her scars.
Adam Wright
cant sleep and if i do my dreams are trying to make me anxious yay
Ethan Howard
>School is out of question sadly, probably even a job. Untrue, college isn't that hard. Just go to community college and join a major you don't hate. Being away from home will help you figure shit out. I'm sorry to hear about your relationship with your mother, undiagnosed bpd is a bitch to deal with. >Honestly my mind feel so foggy and numb right now Same, but that's because I haven't eaten in a while. >music, try not to cut and just get through the night. Same
Don't lost hope, user, it's not over until it truly is.
James Fisher
Does anyone else cut while fapping or am I too degenerate for even this general?
Samuel Gutierrez
I'm pretty sure Jackoffanon does too
Austin White
thank you for the last bit. haven't for a long time. I'm doing better....
Thomas Murphy
father is going to call 911 on me if i dont eat the pizza he is ordering for me...
>he will never love you as much as you love him K? is that you?
Charles Cox
not everyone is meant to love you back. finding someone who can love you equally and unconditionally is what some people would call a soulmate. personally, i dont think there is just one person for everyone though. thought the same thing
Brayden Howard
ate a small slice. father offered me another, but i said i needed a minute cause i started getting really light headed. went for a drink of water and my step mother took it. not sure if i even wanted it, but i still hate that harpy.
>Don't lost hope, user, it's not over until it truly is. Perhaps. If it can make you feel any better I didn't cut myself. You are welcome. Hope you'll keep feel better at least most of the times, some downs are to be expected but that happens.
Nathaniel Clark
i still cant sleep ._. i think im gonna get up and buy stardew valley
Dylan Cruz
you should! dont be afraid to consult the wiki especially when you start for first day. putting a good foot forward for your crops is never a bad thing.
Same, it makes me feel better afterwards. Nice and calm..
Liam Scott
I grabbed the wrong fucking boxcutter from my car.
Zachary Sanchez
My best explanation is from my perspective it's like the ultimate distraction from your current stress, substituting a harder stress with an easier one that will go away after an hour. That other pain would seem pretty tiny compared to what you just put yourself through
Alexander Fisher
will the cashier get suspicious if the only thing i buy is boxed wine, box cutter blades and rubbing alcohol?
Grayson Howard
cashiers dgaf. i bought a knife and duct tape once and didn't get so much as a sideways glance.
Parker Price
i got a really nice cashier the other day that tried to make conversation and told me about how someone yelled at her for a mistake once... i would hate to freak her out
Jason Ross
simple enough, then. if she isn't there, just get the stuff. if she is, just grab something cheap and random in addition to everything else so it just looks like an assortment of miscellaneous items, rather than a group of items for one specific purpose. i highly doubt most people would put two and two together if you did that.
Samuel Gutierrez
i packed lunch for work today. im probably not gonna eat it desu
Isaiah Long
Can't really sleep, my mind is tired but can't sleep...
Aiden Rivera
Have you considered just taking shrooms and staring at a candle you'll realise it your choice to hold onto these things and that you only have now -- all your misery right NOW is physical trauma and you can burn it out of you by opening your ass stretching out and exercising then meditating at night, getting away from this Degen website. Trust me niglets. I'm only back because I'm injured you're all just repeating a cycle and it's your own damn fault. >Quit Any Forums >No fap >Calorie count >Calisthenics >Meditation >Job >Girlfriend >Virgin to 100 creampies >Injured >Back here
Carson Cook
>take the fucking meds Didn't know the anti-christ posted here
Kayden Thompson
>he hides his meds under the tongue cute
Noah Rivera
Yes. It's to punish me but ended up being turned on by hitting them over time
Grayson Hughes
>have a friend who cuts and did that >completely destroyed his brain and woke up dormant mental illness Epic advice kill yourself
Kayden Cox
>Take 5grams shrooms >Wacky visuals for a few hours >Feel nothing except the desire to sleep Real useful
Joshua Long
Who cares, I'm not making it to age 30 so who cares?
Alexander Campbell
alot of sadness today, hydration drowns the sadness
Jaxson Hughes
sorry to hear that, i hope you feel better tomorrow
Ethan Edwards
hydrate all you want im gonna bonk anyway
Aaron Johnson
>Perhaps. No, it's absolute. >If it can make you feel any better I didn't cut myself. Don't worry about my feelings, just don't give up on yourself.
How many do you have?
At least you packed it. Small steps, user. Small steps indeed
Antichrist? Cool
You will though, it's best not to hurt your brain too much. Concussions aren't a joke.
William Walker
>Small steps thanks i guess i ate a little bit while hiding from my coworkers in the locker room :>
im crying a lot right now and im not gonna drink water to rehydrate myself >:c
Isaiah Russell
After 10 years of dealing with schizoaffective disorder, mental health and disability I think I'm ready to do supported employment to help transition myself into actual paid work. I know who I am and what my limitations are, but I'd like to start focusing on the things I can do instead of what I can't. Things have gotten a bit easier to manage. Oh the shower curtain is breathing? Cool. The clock on the wall turned into a jellyfish? Neat. Some people pay good money for drugs to experience this, lol.
why do you choose to do something that leaves a mark and damages your body? Why not just do something painful that won't forever leave a scar?
When I was younger i cut myself, and now that I'm better over a decade later it really sucks to have the scars. Cutting yourself is fucking stupid honestly, if you want to hurt yourself theres better ways that wont permanently damage your body.
Austin Cook
I feel you, just keep trying tho. you'll eventually suceed or die trying but either way, from personal experience, it's always better than rotting in the corner
Isaac Gomez
Damn. That was awfully close.
Blake Hernandez
>how are you? feeling pretty blue, but that's the usual for a long time. >got anything to do? a lot of stuff, but I'm kinda giving up from everything. >got any goals? yup, but I'll won't succeed any of them so who cares. >are you clean? from cutting myself? yeah, I never really got into it seriously as it would pull a lot of attention to my problems and that would probably send me into a psych ward. from trying to kill myself? nope, for some reason everything I do to try to anhero, fails. I've thinking of trying to buy a .12 gauge but buying guns in my country is pretty difficult and I always get worried of how my family would feel if I died.
sooo, what you guys up to? played/watched/listened to something interesting lately?
Michael Miller
I'm a week and a half clean, but I'm feeling really tempted
Jaxon Gray
Cutting's for attention seeking pussies. Use acid. No marks. If you are looking for perma marks you are just larpers.
Luis Reed
Trips of truth
>What the fuck is acid, I've heard it so many times yet have no idea as to what in the Hell it is
Angel Barnes
>sleep more than 3 hours for the first time in days >have horrible dreams and wake up mutiple times with my shirt drenched in sweat >day is already ruined at 5am
Gavin Hernandez
Thanks for the suggestion, user. It'll be fun
Elijah Myers
it doesntt matter what you did before these parasites call you a parasite british are fucking scum
William Brown
fucking cow tell her to fuck off
Jaxon Lee
frick it im gonna play vidya and be late for work silly me for allowing myself to sleep
Christopher Peterson
I've been cutting for about 7 years now. I enjoy it, and don't want to stop. This is what my tranny arm tends to look like.
my sister pestered me to come stay with her because my father was worried about me. she said just wants to make sure im safe. better then sleeping in the garage i guess. hope you eu anons have a decent day. sleep well others o7
It'd fuck your family up, there's no way to cushion the blow of suicide on loved ones. I rewatched the basketball diaries a couple of days ago, great movie.
Good work, user. Resist it.
I relate, sleep is just my brain roleplaying my destructive thoughts.
Too deep, user. Far too fucking deep.
Lincoln Baker
I'm drunk, please help encourage me to go through the pain and end it.
Christian Robinson
*boop* dont be silly, we love you and youre probably hella cute when drunk c:
Adam Williams
id give you a hug. go drink some water and have a snack. maybe go lay down after
Its not worth it user Sober up and drink some water
Ayden Hughes
it would be kinda cool if you gave me a (you) instead tho.. im new to this gen i bet ive never had one from you before! please? :)
Noah Kelly
Meh, thank you though user you're cute I drank some water and coca cola because it was rum/coke and it is nasty. What if I'm just realising the truth though? Here (You) go user
Josiah Roberts
>you're cute no u
Levi Torres
Because I hate my body and *want* to leave permanent scars obviously That's part of the allure, I'm already in huge amounts of mental anguish so it's like a desire to reflect that upon my body or something Idk I'm not a psych
>Gonna kill myself in a bathtub. Very dramatic >maybe I'll do it sooner if my results from college come back bad enough That's just downright retarded
Thomas Hall
It's simple, just turn on the fosit, easy-peasy cleanup.
I am retarded yes.
Jayden Perez
thank u very much :))
Jaxon Hernandez
You're gonna kys because of some college result? That's the retarded part.
Henry Morgan
protip: dont be a pussy, put lots of pressure on the blade and rip it across your arm quickly to cut very deep the only thing worse than a cutter is a cutter who thinks their cat scratches are impressive. dont be that guy, FUCK yourself up
cuts arent meant to be impressive. they are for you to feel better. dont let anyone belittle you for your cope. cutting isnt good, but better then not dealing with your emotions. hopefully you can learn some other good copes here
you should eat so you dont get a bad hangover. why dont you want to sleep user?
Jace Thomas
i wont get a hangover, dont worry >why dont you want to sleep user? bad dreams
Eli Lopez
>bad dreams Same, can't even escape
Owen Young
I know, it does make me feel better, but I also feel like I should be going deeper you know?
Benjamin Peterson
yea you told me before, i think im gonna try to avoid rem sleep for now, aka only take naps for how long have you had bad dreams? ive had a difficult relation with sleep before but its only recently been this bad
Josiah Thomas
>getting paranoid again that everyone hates/despise/avoid me for whatever reason One can't get peace in this life.
Gavin Martinez
A couple of years, but it's been getting worse this past year. It was usually like one nightmare per shleep, but now it's multiple because they wake me up. On a good shleep, I wake up 3 times because of them, but that's rare. Shleep used to be an escape, I miss it so much.
>One can't get peace in this life. Tell me about it
Justin Garcia
>Shleep used to be an escape, I miss it so much. god i hope its just a phase for me, he appears in almost every dream maybe i should start taking amphetamines again to avoid sleep
Aaron Green
>maybe i should start taking amphetamines again to avoid sleep Not a good idea. Sleep is important, no matter how painful it is.
Alexander Rodriguez
eh, it really isnt that important for acute health. besides, i have lots of time to take naps during lectures / on the bus
Jackson Martin
I live in a 3rd world country. Scuicide would be merciful.
Nathaniel Rivera
>Tell me about it Hard to explain but pretty much what I said. It's not as intense as other times but the thought is still in my mind.
Do you guys lick your blood up. I've gotten to love the taste. At first I would wipe up and the smell made me a little grossed out after a bit. But the taste and smell and texture all combine to deliver a pleasant experience for me
Been thinking of trying to go to a therapist. I feel like I'll eventually go further than just hurting myself otherwise. Only been to one when I were like 12 or 13 so don't really remember what it's like. What do I even tell them when I apply for help? Should I just tell them simple stuff like feeling depressed and unmotivated? Or should I tell them about my self harm and suicidal thoughts? Not really knowing what to do or go about it all has made me not go to one earlier. Not sure one will help though but I guess it's worth at try. Especially since I'm in a period of feeling a bit less self hate, wouldn't think about going to someone usually Sorry for rambling a bit
Nathaniel Wright
Good morning anons. How is everyone today? The nauseous feeling has died down a bit from my new medication. Going back up to my moms today. About a week clean now. Thought I might pass out last time I cut the blood was gushing out and I got super light headed and lay on the floor until it passed. Probably took like a good 10 minutes though. POST A SONG YOUVE BEEN LISTENING TO.
Good idea, user. I wouldn't let on too much the first session. Just depression and unmotivation. Then slowly bring about the suicidal thoughts, but never admit to planning or thinking of doing it. Just tell them you got suicidal ideations and self-harm. Don't tell them you planned anything. Just be honest, but not all at once.
A whole week? Good work, Kranusanon.
Christian Davis
>I wouldn't let on too much the first session Ah okay, thanks! Will do that then. I've never really told anyone about how I'm feeling, neither family or friends. So it feels quite weird and I haven't been sure how much to let up. But that helps, thanks user >Don't tell them you planned anything. Yeah, can't they like arrest you or forcibly admit you if you tell them stuff like that? Since you can be deemed a danger to yourself or something
Gavin Hall
>can't they like arrest you or forcibly admit you if you tell them stuff like that? Depends on where you live. Either way, be honest, but don't speak about any fucking plans.
Jaxon Barnes
yeah, i've always done that. mmm delicious.
Jace Jones
I've been severely declining for a while, and it's getting pretty dangerous. I'm gonna log off, I'll probably be back. If not, thank you all for the camaraderie, it's been fun. Don't worry about me. Goodbye.
Don't. Funny enough I was going to cut again just now, but everything felt so meaningless that even the tempation to cut myself lost its meaning. Let's say I resisted it and gaslighted myself into thinking it was mg doing; you can resist it too Suianon. But if the worst comes, have a peaceful passing...
Cameron James
Youre too damn nice for this shit to be happening to you sui. It feels like you are my friend. You helped me a lot even if I didnt say it. Please dont do something stupid. Love you sui
i love you sui and i know a lot of us do. i dont want to tell you what to do because i know how rough things can get. i support your decision regardless what you do, but i would be really sad if you do. youve personally helped me feel a bit more comfortable here and helped postpone some of my exit plans. im not sure if thats a good thing, but i hope i can help you like youve helped me. if you ever want to talk, youre welcome to come to me. please come to us if you feel like ending it, you owe it to us to hear us out and let us know at least. if not, godspeed sui
I'm using this thread to vent, I don't cut, but I'm pretty sure I've always been spiraling closer and closer to killing myself... I'm stoned so fuck it I don't care if any of this is easy to read. Sorry for wasting a post.
I'm a former NEET. Grew up poor and I've always been poor. My family life has been pretty hellish and unhealthy. Every day I seem to realize more and more trauma in my life that lead me to where I am. I've always, always, fucking always tried my best. I've always tried to be the best I can be. I've always fought against my fucking broken brain riddled with mental illness. My own body rather ugly and my health never being all that good. I grew up in a very toxic household to say the least. One day I'll probably write a book about it... If I ever live and accomplish something good enough to.
Recently, though my relationship with my family feels like it's been on a decline. Recently I had to put my cat down. He was one of the very few things I had left that helped me wake up every morning. The light of my life. Recently, I got a job. I felt like, if Im going to spiral towards suicide, why not try to go out with a bang? My family desperately needs the money to pay bills. Why not say fuck it to my health? I took a fast food job. I thought it'd be easy and I feel absolutely pathetic with how poorly I've taken it. I feel so ashamed that my body can't keep up. Not in a "lol fatass" way. I'm certainly disabled in some ways... But fuck if I can't get myself to properly seek help. I no longer have any energy I'm having a terrible rash from the gloves we wear at work and I see no real solution to this right now My work hours have been cut so I won't even be able to make enough money for the bills anymore with this part time I don't think my body could take having two jobs, let alone with inconsistent hours
I thought getting a job would help me get out of hell, but it feels like I've just reached Hell 2 I'm so fucking tired... I feel so alone Fuck charlim
i understand. im not really satisfied unless its a dermis cut personally. not that deep, but im not really looking to do permanent damage. bleeding out andor not having complete function of my hand doesnt sound fun.
A shit job is worse than no job tbqh. Try security it's always got openings, I do security because of social anxiety. But through the years I've shed the anxiety and am gonna get out of it soon
Grayson Mitchell
Man, I really hope we did not lost you. Fuck life honestly.
Hunter Green
i feel the same about working. i really try, but i just cant keep it up and it drives me crazy. i wish i could offer some sort of help, but my best advice would be to try medication or therapy. im a bit of a hypocrite, but they have helped lots of people. who know, might be good for you. its really hard, i understand, but are the alternatives really better? if venting help, i personally dont mind reading them, just dont always respond. feel free to stick around fren
Feeling it flow across my wrists is a great comfort.
Nathan Kelly
Anybody else here just sick of thier life?
Evan Davis
don't worry too much about me. after getting sick i spent the next few weeks after recovering going out with friends and trying to do anything but wallow in my depression at the suggestion of concerned friends and family. i don't really know if it's working though. all i managed to do was mess up my sleep. i was just thinking i should check here again because i hadn't posted in awhile...
Thomas Jackson
New mcr song came out and took me back to my highschool days...
Cameron Hill
yeah, what's up with that? why are there suddenly a bunch of emo bands making a comeback or rappers getting into making emo music?
Joseph Campbell
I think it has something to do with hyperpop suddenly blowing up with zoomers, it seems like it has roots in emo and so because of that lots of emo bands are popular again/new artists are trying it out
William Carter
that sounds about right. kinda what I was thinking, that and that whole sadboy rap thing that was going on for a few years there. you won't hear me complaining too much though, this was the shit back in HS and even if it's corporate as hell it's still a nice distraction from the rest of the shit going on everywhere.
Anthony Taylor
I'm glad it's on the comeback too to be honest, I'm a sucker for angsty music, I feel like no matter how old I get ill always be an angsty teen at heart lol
Colton Myers
funny enough, I once heard my old psychiatrist saying he thought it was interesting how BPD seems to be like permanent angsty adolescence.
but yeah, me too
Nathan Morales
Thankfully I don't have bpd, I'm just an edgy loser who never grew up lmao. I hope your mental health is good user. Do you have any music recs? I love music but Any Forums is a total shithole these days.
Jordan Wilson
not at the moment, i was just going to sleep for awhile. i hadn't really been listening to anything except a bunch of old records i got from my parents and some psueo-hair metal on youtube.
Connor Martin
I should probably go to sleep soon too, I have to be up in 3 hours... might just say fuck it and stay up all night. Either way I hope you get some good sleep, it's been nice talking to you user. It's rare I get to have a nice genuine conversation with someone here these days, in a self harm thread no less haha
Grayson Ross
you too. I like these threads because they feel like old Any Forums at times. cozy.
