I'm 30 now and life is slowly but surely getting worse and my mental and physical health is deteriorating. I just wanted to vent to people who might relate.
I rent a tiny shithole manufactured single wide alone with 2 cats & a dog. I work 30min away in a dim cubicle with people I don't care about 5 days a week. I only talk to a few siblings and parents who I don't feel a strong bond with. I have social anxiety and depression. I believe I also have sleep apnea and my fatigue overwhelms me. I can't laugh, smile, cry, get angry. Anhedonia is always there.
When I get home from work I walk my dog, watch porn, browse internet then eat dinner at parents for a bit of social interaction... the only touch I get is a 1 second hug from my mom. Suicide pops in my head a lot. It's a fantasy and curiosity. Not a concrete plan. I feel I need to get serious about it more and actually plan on a quick and painless way. I am 30 and I can't do this another 35+ years.
I am so lonely bros...Why do I feel so physically ill. I never wake up rested and refreshed. I get terrible sleep. I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH LONGER PLEASE!!!
You need oxytocin. Look into weighted blankets and demoxytocin tablets.
Christian Hernandez
>oxytocin How do I get this? From finding someone to love on and love me back? Cuddling and having sex? It's all I think about. I want someone so badly... I wish I could get it in pill form.
I use a 15lb weighted blanket every night. I will google the drug you mentioned now
Elijah Young
>demoxytocin tablets
"Demoxytocin (INN) (brand names Sandopart, Odeax, Sandopral), also known as desaminooxytocin or deaminooxytocin, as well as 1-(3-mercaptopropanoic acid)oxytocin ([Mpa1]OT), is an oxytocic peptide drug that is used to induce labor,[1] promote lactation,[2] and to prevent and treat puerperal (postpartum) mastitis (breast inflammation).[3] Demoxytocin is a synthetic analogue of oxytocin and has similar activities,[4] but is more potent and has a longer half-life in comparison.[2][1] Unlike oxytocin, which is given via intravenous injection, demoxytocin is administered as a buccal tablet formulation.[2][5]"
I dont know user...seems not good for a man. I will ask my doctor about it.
I have tried a few SSRIs and I recently tried a low dose (6.5mg) of aderrall IR. I felt weird and anxious af.
Eli Allen
>my mental and physical health is deteriorating because you do not go to the gym or touch girls in no specific order. do both of these things and then come back and we will talk if you are sad
Jackson Martin
A few months ago I went to a gym for 2 weeks straight. The fatigue was kicking my ass and I still felt sick. Made it so difficult to go. So I just gave up. My body is rotten. Touching a woman sounds so insane at this point. Suicide is more likely.
Christopher Kelly
My friend, I feel you so hard, I'm a NEET shut-in so the feeling of a failed life and worthlessness are crushing me. I hope you find peace in this life, hope we all do.
Evan Hall
You're meant to only go a few times a week bruh I can't imagine touching a woman either
William Fisher
Man just described clinical depression. Get some help, user.
I don't believe I will find peace in this life, friend. I am waiting for death. Debating if I should wait it out for my parents to pass but they had me young. My mom is 49 lol. It could be awhile.
How old are you? user, does anything give you joy? Please don't rot away.
Aiden Rivera
I went 3 days on 2 off. I didn't go daily lol. I worded it poorly.
The fatigue is always here. I wish I could afford a sleep study in a lab.
Juan Sanchez
i think about dying everyday when i go off work now. its only my 3rd day in there and I'm okay when i'm there but when I come home I have 5 hours at best on my own before doing it all over again so thinking about how I could end my life right now feels liberating because I wouldnt have to get up tomorrow and I have it better than most but thinking about all that I have doesnt stop me from feeling this way. Just by knowing that I could makes me feel a bit better putting it to the back of my mind. You really need a therapist, bro. I
>How old are you? I'm 29 and have been LDAR since 16, it's over. I don't have any real joys left. Why do you believe that you won't find peace?
Robert Carter
Like what? I tried 7 therapists and as few antidepressants. Seems like thats all doctors can fucking do. No one wants to help me. I can't help myself.
Noah Flores
Have you tried any meds other than SSRIs? SNRIs? MAOIs? Tricyclic antidepressants?
Let's talk thrapy, have you tried talk therapy? Cognitive therapy? Electroconvulsive therapy? Magnetic stimulation?
You probably will never have any of these treatments if you're in the US because they're expensive and insurance companies would rather just give you cheap SSRIs.
Luis Kelly
>I can't help myself. it hurts, it really hurts
Xavier Howard
>I'm still a coomer at age 30 even though over 10 years of the nofap movement revealed the harmful nature of porn and masturbation addiction to the world >Why do I feel so bad? I don't understand :( STOP WATCHING PORN. STOP JACKING OFF. STOP BEING A COOMER. inb4 the unhealthy depressed coomer says the healthy fulfilled user is wrong and that nofap is a meme
Blake Morales
dude ive also tried numerous antidepressants and therapy, shit just doesnt help for me. atm im quitting antidepressants manualy, im getting more and more suicidal everyday. i feel you very much because im in the same shit. i cry everyday now when nobody sees me, men shouldnt cry, im such a loser
Eli Cox
yeah porn is definately mental poison, but quitting porn and masturbation alone wont fix all the problems, believe me ive tried
