Why did I jerked off with a paid model, in a paid WebCam chatroulette as 24 year old man?

Why do I always sabotage my reputation like that? Do I have some kind of mental illness?
This is what deprivation of love and sex life will do to you, bots.
Absolute degeneracy. And I'm not even ugly/bald/short etc.
Shit is weighing on me hard. How could I fall so low.
I guess I was such mental degenerate fom lack of sex for 24+ years, that I just couldn't control it.
They prolly recorded me, even though I've never showed face

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You did nothing wrong. Shame holds you back. Let go and be free

bump [#30470704dd]

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Yeah, but I don't wanna deal with this shit in the future, when I'm adult. I don't want to this degeneracy to surface 10 years down the line. I have enough emotional baggage already

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It won't. Just do what you want and don't look back

still kinda hard to just forget the degeneracy

key to defeating that feeling is doing it again
normalize it

it's just a webcam model. many people do it and don't feel shame. she/he forgot about it already

There are selfies I posted on Any Forums, under a trip, and that trip is connected to some of the most horrendously vile comments a person could make.

I also have a literal porn video around somewhere - me fucking a camgirl while some old guy jacked off to it. The faggot recorded it and one random time scrolling through porn pages I saw a screencap of it.

I just have to hope no one will ever find it. That said, I saw TWO of my ex's posted on Any Forums. One of them had pictures that were clearly taken before we met, but one of them...I dunno mang, it looked like when we were dating, and I definitely didn't take the pictures.

The thing is. Is what if you became not a celeb per se, but a public figure, and this shit wouldresurface full force?
Who knows what kind of path you'll chose in your 40s and 50s.

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But the thing is. I had like 20 aount bined to my credit card name. It was an addiction. I scrolled through at leas 500 models. jerked off to at leas 100. It's over

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