How can i tell my guy friend who obviously has a crush on that i don't want to date him without hurting his feelings...

You can't. It's over for you (two).

>why would i be embarrassed
If you confront him about it there is two scenarios:

He really is into you and gets flustered. He'll tell you you got the wrong impression in order to safe face

Or

You're actually just imagining things and he isnt into you at all.

>without hurting his feelings
Just gonna be honest here, but this tendency to sugar coat things is what makes guys want to beat the shit out of you for rejecting them. It's not the rejection in itself. It's the carefully choreographed dance you take around it. Just rip out his heart already so you can both move on.

>without hurting his feelings
There isn't. Accept that you're the bad guy. Rejecting someone is a choice. Accept that you're going to hurt someone that (as far as you know) does not deserve it. That is your fault. People will tell you it isn't, they're wrong. In life there are cases where you have no right options, in chess this is known as a 'fork'. Wise people see those situations ahead of time and avoid falling into them, but you're already here and you have to deal with that. There's no magic answer at this stage of the game that's going to make everything better.

If i were you, id admit i was a shallow selfish bitch and then just tell him i want someone more attractive. It's the truth, it's not going to lead him to a false opinion, and if it's not benign, at least you recognize the responsibility you have in hurting someone else. It is the wisest option, assuming this guy is actually incompatible with you and that you're not just some stupid cunt who doesn't know what's good for her (which is a fairly likely possibility if you're a female on Any Forums asking robots for romantic advice). It cuts your potential of being forked again down to a minimum.

oh you just think he has a crush on you. Then just ghost him. It's the easiest way to handle this.

i'd have to abandon my friend group to do distance myself or ghost him. plus, there's no closure to that
if it'd be ultimately better for him, then i guess i'd have to, but i don't want to cut him out if i have better options
why is it over?
what if i ask "hey, do you like me?" to make it less direct
if i have to be completely direct i guess i will but i don't want to be overly harsh
if i did date him i know things wouldnt work out. how is that my fault?

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>what if i ask "hey, do you like me?" to make it less direct
That's going to give the impression you like him.

damn, then what would be a good way to confront him?

>Why is it over?
Are you 12 and this is the first time you've ever rejected a boy? Guys & girls can't be friends. Guys want the physical relationship and girls want the attention. The guy gets used, gets strung along until he wishes up and leaves, or until he grows a pair and asks the girl out - forcing her to choose between having him in her life or not. Rejction is a knife in the back. He can recover from rejection, but he will never forget that you are who hurt him. This is part of life.

just say it when he asks you and stop annoying us and him

"You've been acting weird (whenever we meet) lately. Is everything ok?"

Its a non strings attached way of inviting him to confess after which you can reject him.
If he doesnt confess hes either not into you actually or hugely autistic.

Just be straightforward about it but not mean, leave no doubt but don't be cruel.

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you cant, he is getting hurt and probably was never your friend and he intended always to pipe, awful but true, real friends dont make a move even when you have a crush unless is mutual

holy fuck op ur a worthless cunt lol kill urself

this is why we become gay

I'm getting painful flashbacks just reading this thread. OP just tell the dude to fuck off. Hurt him properly because hurting him kindly will be 10x worse for him.

It's over because once he confesses, and you reject him, it will hurt too much to be around you. I don't know any guy that can honestly say he can exit in the friendzone without wanting to neck.

youtu.be/l6uaxfye2Ig

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good enough to be a friend. not good enough to be a boyfriend. just tell him the truth. he is ugly. leave no doubts in his mind. blackpill him.

that'd work if he's only been like this lately but it's been a while now. i've never had anyone like me before and i didn't know what to do. i thought rejecting him outright would make it worse since he already can't make friends easily and i'd hate for him to isolate himself.
yea i've never had anyone like me before. usually it's not like this
wait when he asks me what? he's not going to ask me out anytime soon. i dont think he sees himself as ready for it atm>blackpill him
i don't want him to be an incel. he's already really depressed

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>i don't want him to be an incel
I was in his position. If you want the best thing you can do is set him up with a friend. If you can't even do that you need to hard break contact and no longer be friends with him. Any option where you are still friendly is going to mindbreak this guy.

>i don't want him to be an incel. he's already really depressed
he probably already is an incel. you turning him down for any other reason outside of the truth will only make him hate himself.

>blackpill him
no u tell him to kill himself

>if i did date him i know things wouldnt work out. how is that my fault?
I don't disagree that it's the wiser of the two decisions. But that doesn't mean that you are not responsible when you make it. And no matter how much you tell yourself you aren't or others try to socially engineer it, it flatly is your fault. Another person will be in pain as a direct consequence of your decision, and you are completely cognizant of that consequence. That is your fault. Im not telling you to love him. But I am saying that you are making a cruel decision. it's a wiser decision. But it is a cruel and selfish decision all the same. You can't have your cake and eat it too, even if other people tell you that you can. Unless you can manage something clever, you have to choose one of the bad options presented to you.

>i'd have to abandon my friend group to do distance myself or ghost him.
That's an issue to do with your desire for social approval. It has nothing to do with the ethics or best practices here. You're in a position with no good options. Only bad ones. If you want to avoid making a bad decision, you'd need to be clever. You'd need to be able to change the environment of the situation around. Either nullifying his feelings, cutting him out of your social network and friends social network either by changing friends or damaging his connections to your friends, or something else.

It's easy
>you are cool guy but I'm not physically attracted to you
There. You tell him the truth and you aren't forced to tell him he is ugly.

>i don't want him to be an incel. he's already really depressed
it is already destined to happen. it will be partially your fault. accept that you aren't going to date him and the results for him will be negative. Does that make you cruel? yes. But adults are cruel for a reason. you don't think you could be happy with an ugly loser. You're probably right. It is less of a hassle for you to just cut his heart out.