What keeps you going? Why haven't you given up yet? Share your method.
For me it's a certain anti-fragility. I have some weird ability to laugh at life when things get so unbelievably fucked, and the more fucked they get, the more determined I am to fix them just to spite life and to spite the people who wish for me to suffer.
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I've been depressed for years, but yesterday it was finally gone. I've been cutting a lot, punching the wall with the full strength of my fist, etc. I stopped cutting last week because I couldn't bear wearing a hoodie in this heat (I live in central europe). But yesterday I finally started dating the girl I've been in love with for a few months now. So I'll be leaving Any Forums, because I pretty much just came here for the self-harm threads.
I'm happy for you user, just remember you're here forever.
My gf and me just broke up a week ago, today is my 28th birthday and I don't think I will ever leave this hellhole or amount to anything in my life.
What keeps me going is interest in the future, I wanna see where this ride goes.
>What keeps you going? Why haven't you given up yet?
the hope that one day i will retire
Very good! I'm so happy for you! I hope you won't come back here anytime soon.
I also broke up with a girl last week, it was a shitty relationship, but I'm thankful for it anyway. Right now I'm just trying to find out who I am so that I won't need other people to feel complete.
>I have some weird ability to laugh at life when things get so unbelievably fucked
In my case is something similar. I'm so bored about everything and I care so little about everything since a long time ago that when things get more fucked up in my pathetic and nonsense life I just laugh at how pathetic and shit everything is and I just don't care about anything. Everything and everyone are shit and stupid, specially me and my pathetic life. So fuck everything and fuck everyone.
Heat in central Europe now?
it's like 20-25 degrees during the day, and I like cold a lot more. I just can't wear a hoodie
I created an objective (altruism) in my mind that I can consistently work towards for the rest of my life. It's so massive and unachievable that I don't think I will be able to ever get close to being done with it, but there's clear goals that I consider necessary for achieving it. For example, having money.
> so that I won't need other people to feel complete.
That's just the thing, I used to feel like that, but since I have experienced a relationship I don't feel like that anymore.
Add that to me losing my job in January, me going through burnout right now and my ex living directly next to me.
Also I did kinda fuck up my Bachelor Thesis, so here I am, 28 years old, no job, no gf, no bachelor.
Life used to be better, but I'm excited to see whether it will ever get better again.
For some reason I have too much pride which I refuse to let go off. Despite having nothing to be proud of; no education, no achievements, no special job, no special skills, no friends/family, nothing. I still wont let myself to stoop into the lowest debts of degeneracy and human depravity
How do i cope?
I collect pictures of people i used to know. And i Photoshop them onto porn and masturbate to it.
No idea why i haven't killed myself yet. Probably because dying is hard and scary.
I did this to one of the teachers I had in high school even if she wasn't that good looking she made me rock hard whenever I saw her. I Collected whatever photos of her I could find online mainly via facebook and then edited them together and made some shitty photoshops and used as fap material for years.
I recently deleted it all and now it's unrecoverable, all those hours spend collecting and editing photos for nothing, and now it's gone
My parents. Every time I think about doing it I just imagine my mom walking into my room and finding me dead and I realize that I can't do it. But it's fine, all of this is happening because I had unrealistic expectations for the future as a kid, And I can't blame myself because I was more or less normal and always had friends and did normal human things so it was hard to accept that my life is just waiting for my parents to die so I can kill myself, I'm not expecting anything good to happen anymore. I already tried hanging myself once and I know it's not painful because you pass out in 10 seconds if you do it right so I'm not scared of doing it anymore
Should we have saved our collections forever ?
Saying I gave up would imply that I tried at some point. I have what I like calling crippling optimism. My belief that everything will ultimately work out just fine prevents me from wanting to actively try to avert what I see as an impending doom. I'm sure I'll be pulled to safety somehow at the last second. I'm not a success by any stretch of the imagination but that's fine. I have been fine thus far and I will continue to be just fine, that is my belief.
I ain't depressed enough to ignore how badly my death would affect my family
No, it's a bad habit which is why I deleted it
Cold is shit, sun is much better. And imagine thinking that 20-25 is hot xD
Every year there's a new crop of porno sluts.
I mean this unironically.
Dying is not hard, if you have a shotgun it's pretty quickly. As I'm sure that you have watched in suicide videos.
What are your 3 favorite pornstars right now.