I'm going to turn 19 in a few months and it's hitting me like a fucking train. Next year I'll be in my twenties. With all that impending, I've become obsessed with the idea of "wasted youth." The idea that this is time I will NEVER get back. I only have one shot at a good life and so far I have fucking wasted it.
I have never befriended a single person I was able to bond with on a deeper level than vidya or internet culture. I had one neighborhood friend who wasn't into that stuff but we've grown apart. I don't have any fond or sentimental childhood memories to look back on because I was an antisocial autist (literally) who just starred at screens his whole upbringing. I was a soulless child.
I never hung out with my few friends outside of high school. We just played CSGO on ocassion. Didn't go out to the mall, visit each other, or other normal teenage activities. I rejected the one girl who invited me to her house too. And guys, she was the sweetest fucking girl. She did all the romantic legwork for me and I was too much of an autist to accept her, because I thought I could do better. God dammit.
I remember when Stranger Things was popular and became super fucking depressed after watching it, because all the characters were really close family and shit. I never had that.
I don't know where I'm going with this. I'm just so disappointed in myself. I don't know what the hell to do. It's like I've achieved a higher level of conciousness within the past few years and am realizing how completely empty my life is. I ruminate in inaction and am a boring person. My personality is underdeveloped from the damage the internet did to my personal growth. I'm just so far behind from where I want to be.
I know, I know, nice blog post. But you guys keep it real. You don't sugarcoat things like other communities do. I just needed to vent and I hope this resonates with someone.
Proof this isn't some copypasta? I mean why are you complaining about wasted youth, when clearly you were dealt a bad hand with Corona. Do you think men drafted to the trenches in the 1920s complained about "wasted youth"?
>I'm just so disappointed in myself Good. Don't ignore that. Whatever you did that caused that disappointment, DON'T DO IT AGAIN.
If you want to be more social, work on it. Practice. Get more experience talking to people. You will fail. You will be rejected. You will be laughed at. Good. Learn from that and keep going. Pick yourself up and never quit.
You have two paths in front of you right now: On one side is an uphill path with fallen trees blocking it and deep holes that will break your ankles, but it leads to where you want to go. Where your dreams are. On the other side is a gentle slope where you can coast downhill while whining endlessly on a hentai board for losers. It leads to a dark, lonely room with a PC in it.
Bentley Long
You're already too old. You need to have sex and your first heartbreak before 18.
Caleb Walker
You have a lot of youth left. If it really scares you that much then take action
Elijah Russell
Let me add something positive to that - there are a lot of wickets to hit in your late teens and early twenties - I would argue even more impactful than your adolescence, because they will involve much more pain, turmoil and hard work. You know you missed your golden years, the years you should be able to look back on fondly. So it should be incentive to make this period - 18 to 25 - really count.
Charles King
at least you werent bullied and wasnt born in eastern europe. My life is hell compared to yours >no friends ever >bullied in middle and high school >diagnosed autist >manlet with gay voice >mocked by my own family >born in slavic shithole >forced to take (((meds))) by jewchiatrist which gave me soul destroying side effects But yeah nevertheless your life sucks also, if normies were put in either my or yours shoes they would go insane and jump out of the window
Nathan Baker
>guys, she was the sweetest fucking girl. She did all the romantic legwork for me and I was too much of an autist to accept her, because I thought I could do better. God dammit. I dont care fuck you nigger your probably good looking.
Michael Gray
Just do what you enjoy, you dont need to justify yourself infront of anyone, except god ofcourse.
Josiah Barnes
Why are there so many Polish people on r9k
Tyler Wilson
I guess in a way you are right. Some opportunities were robbed of me, but I don't think I would've taken them at the time. Thanks for the advice user. In other spaces people would just be like "Everything's gonna be okay" and that toxic positivity shit. The advice I see here is a lot more brutal but helpful. >You know you missed your golden years, the years you should be able to look back on fondly. So it should be incentive to make this period - 18 to 25 - really count. If there is a silver lining then it's this. It's simutaneously a relief and anxiety inducing. I still have the pre-25 years to make up for lost teenage experience, but it'll require action to be taken now, something I'm not used to. Really sorry about that user. Honestly I do come from a place of privellege compared to you. If I was severely bullied by my schoolmates and family idk what I'd fucking do. Some normies said some kid was even uglier than me behind my back, if that makes you feel any better. But honestly my physical appearance isn't that bad.
Blake Wright
idk, maybe polish forums are liberal shitholes where you can be banned over virtually anything and average polacks are dumb as fuck NT slavniggers who absolutely despise autists Also why do you think Im a pole?
Jordan Diaz
You sound like a pole. I'm so used to Polish people (foids and moids) on r9k and discord now, that I kind of get a feel for them. They are kinda first world, but still refer to themselves like they are in the commie block. Latvians are a bit similar. But actual slav fuckers like Russians and Belarusians and shit are VERY different from western people.
Henry Allen
You can't make up for lost teenage experiences. That's gone. The experiences you have in this new age range are different. As I said they are more weighty and impactful. Often as traumatic as they are rosy. That's the big difference. But if you waste those, you'll regret that too. You won't have your first sweet high school romance and break up. But you can still have your first serious, life shattering romance and dumping.
Charles Murphy
You have plenty of "youth" ahead of you.
>Leave this place >Stop playing addictive-type videogames >Spend time outside your computer and outside your house >Practice small talk with aquaintances >Do activities, do exercise, visit places >Find a job >Have sex >Be yourself and do whatever you want
Sebastian Bell
poland is nowdays a sockpuppet of ZOG which loves to bend over to americans. Poles have obsession over american culture but there are also many gopnicks here who hate west and want Poland to leave EU. Briefly saying there are two types of poles nowdays: 1. West loving liberals who gladly adopt american culture, learn english and act almost identically as whites in usa (it is especially visible with zoomers) 2. West despising poorly educated working class which is similar to gopniks from russia, they love alcohol and value highly masculinity (many of them belong to milenial generation as they were raised in the most unstable times of modern poland) In my opinion both of these groups are retarded. In school I had encountered more people from 2nd group as I was attending a school in district where many physical workers dwelled
Dylan Brooks
>Have sex How a litteral socially stunted autist can have non paid sex? Its litteraly impossible for him now unless he becomes betabuxxer which is even more despicable fate than becoming a wizard
Gavin Baker
>Polish people (foids and moids) on r9k Lol did not know that, are Poles more inclined to be robots? That's odd
Jacob Ortiz
hey just burn your past completely and start again. move or some shit. social life might not even be for you and you might enjoy more solitary hobbies
Brayden Gonzalez
John Paul II, Margaret Thatcher, and Ronald Reagan brought down the communists, and saved Western Civilization
you just gotta hang around bars and liquor stores its the getting laid shortcut
Noah Walker
>you just gotta hang around bars and liquor stores its the getting laid shortcut For well adjusted people? Yes. For average Any Forums posters? Fuck no t. Been going to bars every week for years
