When I was younger I developed hatred of substances due my singel mother being an alcoholic, I restrained myself from drinking, smoking, doing drugs etc out of spite in later years. Now in retrospect I understand that alcohol was the only reason she didn't abandon me, it was only reason I didn't end up an orphan on the streets. I tried to find a better reason, a way to deal with my problems than druging myself, but, I found out the awful truth when looking into history of humans. If not for drugs and alcohol, society as we know would never exist. I tried to find a diffrent reason to live beside god or hedonistic indulgences but found out that there isn't any. There are only 3 main options:
>you lie to yourself about a purpose, your god, be it biblical god or manmade god like money, knowledge, power etc. That is why people get offended when confronted about it, you question their very reason to stay alive.
>you let yourself indulge in hedonistic lifestyle, you use all kinds of vices in order not the depression in, regardless what it may do to your body and your mind.
>you do nothing like me, I don't drink nor belive in any cause. Now I'm a NEET who doesn't care about anything or anyone. There is no reason to care and If becoming just like my mother by drinking just to forget is only way to stay alive, then I would rather die.
And you anons who read all of this, if you care about something, even if its about getting laid. Do drugs or find your god, the effects on your body and mind will be harsh, but not as harsh as both death of your spirit and soon to be body like mine inflicted by lack of purpose and chronic loneliness.
My distain for substances ruined any hopes for good life
HAHAHA HAHA HA HA! What a fucking joke.
> Do drugs or find your god, the effects on your body and mind will be harsh, but not as harsh as both death of your spirit and soon to be body like mine inflicted by lack of purpose and chronic loneliness.
You are a fucking child. Ive been locked in my mind on dissociatives being twisted by insanity. I have permanent brain damage. A drug induced stroke made it so I literally cant smile. Cant move the right side of my face. I have been addicted to opiates for 3 years. Before that i was lifting and running and now i take opiates several times a day so i dont kill myself. If i go out i have to get so drunk that I act like a fucking prick and say cringey shit. I got a hemorrhoid from the awful shits alcohol and opiates give you. Cigarettes have ruined my skin and i cant ever breathe. I have trauma from the time i mixed 1000mg of cough medicine with a bunch of shit. Ive wasted thousands and thousands of dollars. I got the money my great grandma started for me to go to college and ive spent so much on drugs alcohol and nicotine. I cant drive because im always high. You do not know the monster you could be on drugs. Go buy some whiskey, kratom, delta 8. They are all legal. Get some Hawaiian baby woodrose, morning glory, or a mushroom kit off the internet. All legal ways toget fucked up. Go see how fucked your head can really get if you think you are better off as a drugie. I would murder you for your innocent human brain. Sincerely from the bottom of my heart go fuck yourself user. You are a child. You know nothing of suffering. Oh yeah and im still a fucking virgin whose never had a relationship. I would still recommend drugs to you because you are already a pussy loser. Might as well get a break from this shit show once in a while.
>i take opiates several times a day so i dont kill myself.
Or you can never take them and just kill yourself outright. I know its shit, I see personally how my mother is going nuts cause of her addiction, but she didn't abandon everything like my dad. She would rather destroy her own body than let her mind tell her to leave me. When you have a choice between dying or destroying your body, its not much of a choice is it ? Both are shit, and you thinking one is actually good is naive.
I think people rely on drugs too much. They refuse to communicate and listen to each other while sober. It leads to communities falling apart because people won't work towards a mutual understanding without numbing themselves emotionally.
What is naive is trying to rationalize your mothers bullshit. Its naive to pretend to know what would have happened in a different circumstance based on a single piece of anecdotal evidence. Its hilariously stupid to say youd be better off with drugs and then not do them. Itold you a bunch of dirt cheap legal drugs you can get. Any vape shop or liquor store has stiff to fuck you up, its easy. The easiest thing there is. But you dont do them because you know that you are a huge pussy and you know its worse than keeping a healthy body and brain. I wish you could feel my achy legs, my smoky black lungs, my headaches and withdrawal induced suicidal ideation. Do you like video games or music? I dont do either because my brain only responds to cocaine. Nothing is fun at all. I need drugs just to pretend im having fun at this point. Your reward system is stil ticking because it hasnt been fucked by the black cock of hard drugs. Im telling you user. One of us knows what both states are like. Thats me. Ive done sober and drugs. DRUGS WILL SHRED YOUR HUMANITY AND TRAP YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS IN A COSMIC CAGE OF TERROR CONFUSION AND BITTERNESS AS BLACK AS THE MOST DESOLATE CORNERS OF DEEP SPACE. There is no argument. If you dont believe me literally go get drugs right now. You will have more fun than you ever had in your life. What happens after that is different but like i said you are unbelievably stupid so you really should.
>My distain
stopped reading
you are missing the point. What choice does one have ? Ruin their body like you ? or do absolutely nothing. Don't you think I don't enjoy doing anything too ? By all means, double down how one is worse because your suffering is imense. You think from your perspective, I try to think both from yours and mine and compare them. Fucking tell me, what choice is there ? Do drugs and live for a moment or never do drugs and never live.
Im telling you to do drugs faggot. If you think you can sit there and know what its like to have abused drugs for a decade and you decided its equivalent to your state then go fucking knock yourself out, You are such a pussy. Literally you will have the time of your life. Drugs are sooo fucking good dude. You have no idea what pleasure and satisfaction is. You dont know how desperately you needed to relax until you have popped some percocet and you feel a comfort deeper than you thought possible. Just thinking about it makes my body twist up in need. Its simply way better than anything. You can get kratom today for like 20 bucks and have a great time. Some people it doesnt work for but you could be lucky.
I have a ruined body and spend all day in bed because even though im severely underweight its too exhausting to stand. The alternate to ruining you body isnt doing nothing. You know how badly i want to lift and run and play basketball? I cant because im stuck. If you are so against making your body feel good then join me in forcing it too. Just dont be a pussy who says i wish i was a druggie because my life is harder than an addict for attention and then refuse drugs.
I have spent time trying to philosophically break down why i would choose addiction over the alternative. Life does fucking suck if you are a depressed loser. The alternative is community user. That is what makes people whole. A partner, friends, respect from co workers, appreciation from your boss. Drugs and theoretically mysticism bullshit are the only things that can fill the hole meant for people. Im autistic and ugly so ichose drugs. That was a thought out decision. I do itevery day. I think, why am idoing this instead of something else? There is nothing else for us. Not for us. So do fucking drugs. Dance with the stars and the demons. It IS better than nothing. Just dont pretend like those are the only choices. You fat pussy.
you are right about the community part, that is meant to be correct choice, but lets be pragmatic here, we both know that is the least probable choice for both us. I'm aware that if both of us had someone in their life regardless how close we would be better off, but that is not the reality sadly. Is the choice really a choice if its unobtainable ? That's why I didn't put it there, I'm certain that my mother would never become an alcholic if my father wouldn't leave her, but he did, not much can be done about that. Sure, you could said that I should be the person who keeps the devil away from her, but that needs to be taught first and who is going to teach a child on how to be a man if only person you know is so drunk she almsot blew up the home by litting gas leak (yes she almost killed both of us once by accident).
So run me through your logic.
>belonging makes you whole
>we dont belong
>drugs will make you feel better than any experience on earth and worse in a equivalent degree
>Drugs are better than nothing
How does that lead to not doing them? It sounds like you just want people to feel sorry for you. No drug addict ever will user. I would steal from you and lie to your face. Why do you suffer pointlessly when your suffering could just be the cost of transcendent pleasure?
that's the dillema, I don't know either. On one hand I see how doing nothing ruins my life, but on the other hand I see how drugs ruin lifes and since belonging is out of the question then I suppose I'm severly stuck.
>pillhead gets fucking obliterated off every substance within grabbing radius
>"DRUGS ARE BAD THEY RUINED ME"
Drugs are fine you're just retarded.
Do you really. No bullshit, actually believe there is nothing you can do? Are you that sure that you will always fail and that what you are supposed to do(get a job, diet, exercise, work on social skills, develop hobbies ect) will not work? You are certain? For one that is impossible. Its most likely just really difficult and you have no help or motivation. You are probably depressed and your brain is shitty from isolation and being generally unhealthy. Its a very difficult spot. If will be much harder if you also have to balance addiction. If you have to quit a substance just to go back to that you probably never will. So you probably still are holding out waiting for some last drop of hope to save you. No one will save you. Everyone you know is as dumb as you about this shit. They just have better habits. No one can save you. Maybe someone can find a way to profit off your misery and will feign compassion. You either need to get real and improve yourself to where you can male meaningful changes or succumb to hedonistic obliteration. You can do nothing as long as you want waiting on something but that only stops when you decide to do something. There is no alternate. No one cares about you. Not enough to hand hold you through your necessary struggles. You would be dead if this world were fair. Do you realize that? Stop distracting yourself. There is no narrative to life. Its all an accident. I honestly dont think you should do drugs user. I want you to be happy and i can tell you from this side the grass aint greener. Im sorry you have to face this reality. I am. But you are not hopeless. It is just very hard. Im sorry you have to do it alone but you really have to. Like you said there are no alternatives. Good luck friend.
The knowledge that we are to die one day gives meaning to the days we spend alive.
Well said homie breh
You arent wrong. I have absolutely no will power and im a musician so drugs are literally given to me constantly. I have smoked weed everyday this year and payed for barely any. I got free coke the other night. Ive had people deliver me shots while i was in a moshpit because i played on stage. Drugs did ruin me but that was mostly me being naive and trusting the dumbest people who seemed like they knew what they were doing. I thought like op that they would help me socialize and meet people. They did but i took it too far and now my right eye sags like a fucking old hags tit. I am literally suggesting op to do drugs and have a good time instead of nothing. Being an addict sucks but there is something in between schizo junkie and straight edge choir boy abstinence.
Yes I'm sure, because to fail and get up over and over again is to be alive, that's the meaning of life, it sounds mad when one think about it. People would say im the one mad but it doesn't feel like, it feels like I'm one who's gone sane in this mad world. Afterall, if life is to fail and get up just to do it all over again expecting something to change is very definition of insanity.
> I am literally suggesting op to do drugs and have a good time instead of nothing
> I honestly dont think you should do drugs user
Hold on I fucked up. If OP is going to do nothing, then he should do drugs to get rolling. I used to hang out with people to get weed even though im a panic attack autist and it was always really awkward. I am slightly better at dealing with people from shit like this. Getting harassed by a scary drugged up black dealer in his house because you are sketching him out is a valuable experience. However i really think it would be better if it were possible for him to take meaningful steps to improvement. Drinking and weed if not done daily are entirely insignificant. Dont be an addict because that severely reduces your chances to be happy in a meaningful way. I thought we were talking about full blown diving into base pleasure or not. No one cares at all if you are a dabbler.
Then cope or rope. Again there are no alternatives. I think you are wrong and are just really unlucky and probably pick dumb things to invest effort in. You probably havent actually stuck with anything for very long. This world is dog shit but you can still fight for scraps. How old are you OP?
>cope or rope
This whole post is about that, also im 22
the knowledge that we are to die only gives urgency and the capacity for an existential nobility. if you waste the time you're give, it is still meaningless.
this is pure cringe. if you want to try both god and drugs at the same time go do acid or something.