What is a quick way to injure myself that isn't super dangerous yet effective to land me in ER?

What is a quick way to injure myself that isn't super dangerous yet effective to land me in ER?
Was thinking about burning my fingers on the stove or cutting deep into one of my fingers. Any ideas are very much appreciated.

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break your pinky with a hammer

That sounds much worse than a burn on the stove. Also takes a lot of self-discipline to hit it hard enough to break.

Def burning yourself, preferably with something hot but not on fire. I've dropped melted (liquid) plastic on my skin in the past.
Or punch a wall, if you live in a normal country with brick walls so you don't damage the wall

could eat a bunch of pills or something and go get your stomach pumped

You can go to the ER for really bad digestive issues. Eat 4 uncooked kidney beans and you'll puke and shit out enough to merit an ER visit

Do what normiez do and fake it

Thing is I really hate puking, trying to avoid any digestive related issues.

Melted plastic sounds really good. It's quick and over fast I assume?

It has to be something I can show my classmates (trying to ditch uni without anyone questioning if i faked it or not).

>It has to be something I can show my classmates (trying to ditch uni without anyone questioning if i faked it or not).
bro you can just lie, you know that right
the slim chance anyone would ask for proof is not worth the injury and bills lmao

If you want a quick secret from a faggot who has been to the hospital 50 times in the last 2 years. You can say you have severe stomach pains on the front right side and your heart hurts and you cant breath. They will give you a Ativan and a morphine drip in 2 seconds so your faggot ass doesnt die

It's a bit complicated but if i lied they would know I pussied out (I think they suspect it already). Has to be some bandage to go with my story.

That's some solid advice. Are you addicted to morphines desu?

>Melted plastic sounds really good. It's quick and over fast I assume?

Yeah, like 15 seconds if you just drop it and wait for the initial pain to go away, maybe a minute if you actually wait for it to cool off and harden on your skin.
Also won't do much harm, worst case scenario second degree burn and a scar if untreated. If you go to the ER they'll probably be able to figure it out in a way that won't leave too much of a permanent mark.

>I think they suspect it already
then they'll just know you intentionally put yourself in the ER, maybe just own up and say yeah I pussied out, now what
the sooner you face yourself the sooner you can stop getting in dumbass situations like this

Idiot, he's trying to get free pain meds, if you eat a bunch of pills they're not gonna give you more. Also they'll probably pink slip your ass and send you to the mental hospital for a 41% attempt.

Burn your balls with a lighter. They'll feel really bad for you, plus you can be burnt balls guy at college. affectations are really popular in university.
>"Yo it's burnt balls he's the life of the party"

would you read the thread before responding you lazy fuck

Thanks for the tips user, this is something worth considering.

Nah they know I have issues but I'm social enough that none of them would think I put myself in the ER for a dumbass reason.

TOPKEK, too bad it's something I couldn't show them as proof.

do you need good acting to pull it off? Can you say you just have stomach pain on front right side or does it have to be that AND heart hurts and cant breath?

Ice in your hand

That's a lot of work. I'll try next time but no promises.

Can you elaborate please? Does it inflict some kind of damage if i do it long enough?