I wish I had friends who liked me and liked the things I like...

>Why is it so hard to find someone the same flavor of autism as I am?
Show me a good time jack!

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Thanks. I've always liked this kind of thing.

I'm not rich enough to afford a real camera, but I do take pictures when I see an opportunity. Picrel was by me.

Is your interest attention whores? Because it sounds like theirs is.

>Were you normal once
Not really. I was always strange, but in a good way, at first.

>Long time in isolation
A long medical recovery would do it, likely.

>They drown
Then I'm the odd man out with a shitty canoe and no oars.

I constantly write stories in my head, and am a bit of a whore for fiction in general. I have a habit of treating them like puzzles and patterns, so when I geek out about something in fiction, people think I'm completely insane because I'm not like "Wow! Cool fight!" I talk about fucking greek storytelling tropes and all the gay shit. I obsessively make Youtube videos nobody else enjoys because I like to have something to show for my hobby of gaming. I constantly learn trivia and other tidbits (did you know if you draw a straight line from both points of a crescent moon and follow it down, it points south?) because I enjoy learning unironically. A few other things besides that, but the thing that causes me issues is I sincerely enjoy being genuine, but most people are uncomfortable when you don't live behind a filter of irony. I don't care to be cool or suave. I am somewhat corny, and I'm okay with that.

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Good pic, user. I figured you had a good eye. Most robots don't know it but they are all photographers. Browsing this board I've seen so many kino photos that only a good eye could appreciate. Sometimes I even see their own photos and they are really good for someone who doesn't even realize what he is doing. I guess it's from growing up on a imageboard. More should get into the hobby. It might end in friends and the artistic girl.

>I constantly write stories in my head, and am a bit of a whore for fiction in general. I have a habit of treating them like puzzles and patterns, so when I geek out about something in fiction, people think I'm completely insane because I'm not like "Wow! Cool fight!" I talk about fucking greek storytelling tropes and all the gay shit.
>I constantly learn trivia and other tidbits (did you know if you draw a straight line from both points of a crescent moon and follow it down, it points south?) because I enjoy learning unironically.
Sounds like you just find life interesting.
I understand. I often enjoy thinking about the most "simple" things and dig a little deeper because what people just pick up and accept as common fact and move on, I like to digest and see how it's pieces fit into the rest of the world.
>but the thing that causes me issues is I sincerely enjoy being genuine
>but most people are uncomfortable when you don't live behind a filter of irony
That shouldn't be the case, it's an impairment on their end, not yours. It really shouldn't cause normies to flip out because they can still hide behind layers of irony. You being genuine doesn't really mean they have to be as well, so they can stay isolated just fine.
webmshare.com/VV653

Anyway
There will be BLOOD
SHED
The man in the mirror nods his head
the only ONE
...
LEFT
Will ride upon the dragons back!

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What things do you like OP?

If I get the chance, I'll try to look into it. I wanted to do photography when I was in middleschool, but I never ended up having time.

>You find life interesting
Maybe. Or I like being interested in things, which is somewhat different. Emotions are a choice you can make; I choose to enjoy some things, the same way I choose not to be bitter.
>They can still hide behind layers of irony
They do, and they poke and prod from behind it. Optimally, we're both genuine. At the very least I'd prefer not to be mocked for saying "I am enjoying myself" or "I am not very good at this, but I don't care"
>Authenticity is scary.webm
Good link. Interesting that a symptom of schizoid is writing novels in your head, which is something I do. I may very well be a schizo, to be honest, but I can never be sure and I find that believing a negative possibility usually isn't productive. I know I don't value others' opinions much at all, but I also could have lost track of my identity along the road somewhere. Either way, just another log in the fire.

Like I said in my last post, fiction (not as escapism or entertainment as much as an art form, or a pattern to complete), puzzles, creating things (so far just Youtube shit, but I've been trying to learn 3D modeling and animation to expand my horizons), I cook, I sincerely love to think. I'm not especially unique, which is why I'm so irritated that more people can't just swallow their pride and act human and connect. Always evasive, always competitive, never just direct and sincere.

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have you tried your local trading card shop

>Emotions are a choice you can make; I choose to enjoy some things, the same way I choose not to be bitter.
Wait until I pump you full of sad juice and the only thing you feel is perpetual sadness and depression.
Chemicals and how your body runs absolutely affects your emotions.
To act as though we are pure reason overriding the biological is hubris.
>They do, and they poke and prod from behind it.
Yes, and?
>Optimally, we're both genuine.
Optimal for better interactions. But what you have is no way worse than what they do among themselves.
>At the very least I'd prefer not to be mocked for saying "I am enjoying myself" or "I am not very good at this, but I don't care"
Mate, that's just life, people who are scared will mentally cope by attacking the things they are scared of doing themselves.
They are literally too weak and scared to do what you want them to do. Don't know why you make it about "you". It's them.
>Interesting that a symptom of schizoid is writing novels in your head, which is something I do. I may very well be a schizo, to be honest, but I can never be sure and I find that believing a negative possibility usually isn't productive.
Making fantasy and beliving it/living it, not being able to turn it off are different things.
There is a world of difference between somebody who enjoys the unreal for entertainment but lives in the real, vs a person who can only live in the unreal.
Nearly everybody deludes themselves at some point, but most people grow out of it as they mature and become more authentic and genuine.
From the things you said you don't seem to be a person who is stuck behind layers of irony and meta gaming every social iteration.

I had a board gaming group that met once a month, (though they were all ten or twenty years older than I am,) but they stopped meeting due to covid. They eventually reconvened, but I can't rejoin as I didn't get the jab.

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Checked.
>Brain Chemistry causes emotion
It's a double feedback loop. Emotions also control the brain chemistry. I'm not saying I just choose to be happy, I'm not, not really. I'm talking less about moods and more about philosophy, how I feel about the world. I choose not to be bitter or hateful, I choose not to hide behind a farce; it's actionable emotion, not passive mood swing.
>Yes, and?
I don't like it. This was already stated.
>What you have is no way worse than what they do
Elaborate, I don't understand your point or implication.
>Mate, that's life
Yes, I know. If it weren't, I wouldn't have made the post.
>Why are you making it about you
I'm the only point of reference I have. I'm not necessarily complaining people are like that, I'm irritated I cannot find anybody like myself.
>The rest.
You're right. It's not like I'm incapable of engaging in the multilayered social game, but I resent it. I would rather be alone than wade into that swamp to rot with company.

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>Emotions also control the brain chemistry.
No, you can direct your thoughts and perspectives and based on that your emotions can be different on subject, which in turn can affect the chemicals.
The point is.
Naive people don't give chemicals and emotions enough credit in the power it has over us.
Intelligent people, change their environment and perspective to affect the emotions to get a desired result.
Rather than "I will override emotions", you do "I will create situations to induced favorable emotions for my goals.
>I choose not to be bitter or hateful, I choose not to hide behind a farce;
Choosing a direction and standing up for it is good, a human needs to be something as it gives everything else a form around which to build itself.
>I don't like it. This was already stated.
K, cool, understandable, but they can't help it. I disagree with it as well as you, but I don't think feeling much about it does much.
>Elaborate, I don't understand your point or implication.
As in they don't treat you worse than they tread others, their interaction with you is no less genuine than they can muster elsewhere. You are seeing the best, they can muster. All you can do is be patient and be genuine, one day they might step out of their shell, or they might not. But the thing I already mentioned is that it's not about you, it's about them.
One common human mistake is to assume that other people actions are revolving around yourself.
Sometimes, people do things entirely for different reasons, that are completely unrelated to you. You have to have the calm clarity to see that not everything is about you. You aren't being singled out.
>I'm not necessarily complaining people are like that, I'm irritated I cannot find anybody like myself.
Reasonable to be frustrated when things aren't going the way you want.
I too, share your problem.
Between the choice of being the real me, or "fitting in". I chose to be myself. It feels great, but it's lonely.
>but I resent it.
me too