im consistently an awful person and becoming aware of my self-excusing femoid nature. you guys were never wrong. im beginning to wonder if i have bpd or all females do, it always feels like i have no agency over my actions, i do the shittiest things and immediately after regret it and loathe myself and i dont know why
this has happened repeatedly in my life with different people >become friends with guy >genuinely like him (usually) >fuck him over >worst example is being convinced by friends to "call him out" over dumb shit (biggest regret of my life) >agonize about situation for a long time >always think its because im inexperienced and dumb (was 14 and 16 in main cases) because i have no other explanation why im like this >attempt to reconnect and apologize or give them advice >always ends up making it worse ofc
>overcompensate for treating those men badly by trying to make any men happy >now its always men that dont deserve it >example A >guy i just met keeps trying to flirt but also keeps denying it and says he isnt >i can see right thru it but listen to him because i dont want to seem like a bitch >eventually he gets me on vc to talk about normal stuff >immediately makes it obvious why he really wants to vc >still show him my naked body and help him cum despite his lying >just because i dont want to be the unpleasant hypocrite bitch again
ive given up on being proud of the type of person i am, i have rarely had a good impact on those i care about or even those i dont care about. i want to live away from the world in like a forest at this point. giving up self is the best option when you are this evil.
idk my posts late at night usually dont get traction
Jaxon Young
What happens if you delete discord? Do you die?
Robert Parker
it makes no sense to me genuinely
you can explain it as hurr durr you bend to the chads but the ones i overcompensate with and the ones i fuck up with are completely picked up random
and the example A who i saw me nude made me pussy dryer than nevada thats the worst part
Christopher Wilson
i cant delete it unfortunately because my only actual friends ive ever had are on there. if i could go back in time and prevent myself from ever getting it i would
Camden Wright
First off how old are you? You still sound inexperienced in the sense that your a young adult who don't know what they want from a person, (I'm in the same boat and just be content of seclusion) I had a friend who felt the same way bout herself, thinking she was some life draining entity, when in reality, she was just too self absorbed and awkward when it comes to social interaction about standard shit, which is like, talking about their day, work life, or hobbies,
Judging from your example A, i think being an unpleasant bitch would be justified, if all you wanted was a platonic relationship, to me, you just got the bad case of not knowing how to say no
Fix that shit, and you'll regain a strong sense of pride and self confidence, I got shitty things i regret and got shitty willpower too, but I know for a fact that being a brainless people pleaser wont make you happier, at all
Makes no sense to me too, but thats life, and thankfully it doesnt seem like things escalated to the point where you live a resigned life where you feel like a trophy wife/onahole, you got those hunches, and it turns out your hunches are right, got any pics of the dms of you calling or knowing the guy was trying to get in your pants but was denying it?
>when in reality, she was just too self absorbed and awkward when it comes to social interaction
that might be it user. i spent 24/7 daydreaming and in my head and i dont know how im supposed to act ever. am i supposed to be a nice girl or am i supposed to "have self respect" and always stand up for anything? i dont truly know what either mean, so i bounce between false acts of extremes. damn
>Judging from your example A, i think being an unpleasant bitch would be justified yeah it would, like i said he didnt deserve my overcompensation
>but I know for a fact that being a brainless people pleaser wont make you happier, at all but i dont want to be a tyrannic bitch either
Samuel Martin
thats true, im also glad they took place in dumb internet communities online instead of something very important. ill try to take it as a lesson
>got any pics of the dms of you calling no i dont
Owen Ortiz
Honest to god, I have no idea why BPD exists. It's easy, just stop saying and doing retarded things.
Is it a case of having no impulse control? Do you not want to stop being an anti-social retard?
>Is it a case of having no impulse control? possibly
Brody Butler
if you can remember keywords in the discord dms, easy search in the discord, breaking the convos down would help your life experience
You can be nice and have self respect, you just need to figure out whos your kind of people, and find the right friends who would support decent habits, not habits that are just you giving entertainment to coomers or shitters who are so bored of their lives they seek to turn people into making clowns of themselves
Any examples of tyrannic bitch acts? friendly reminder you live in a world where if usually a girl does anything, she'll get criticized for it, or talks "unladylike" she's lesser, etc etc
You aren't a dopamine addict are you? (Can't go an extended amount of time without vaping, weed, social media validation, unchallenging trash entertainment, orgasming.)
John King
therapy, medication, and telling yourself "i'm being stupid" when you have an unfounded feeling of abandonment will solve most of it. a long term relationship also helps, but i know that's difficult to attain.
Michael Flores
lol!! why so retarded?
Cooper Bell
"wonder if I have bpd" fuck I'm sick of you females fucken glamorizing my stupid fucken personality disorder if you had it you would have been diagnosed by a professional long ago. If you want attention sharpie in pooper or fuck off to /soc/ FUCK
>ive given up on being proud of the type of person i am Unless you're 80 years old, why not try being a decent person now, caulk the first 5 years or whatever of your life to a learning experience.
Jeremiah Martinez
>overcompensate for treating those men badly by trying to make any men happy >now its always men that dont deserve it So you're aware but nothing's changed. And you're justifying slutting with bad men by saying it's compensation for your awareness of misdeeds? Where is the proof it's that reason? Plenty of women get on cam and jack off jerks and ignore how they treat kind men. They're not overcompensating at all. They just hate men who are good to them and adore jerks. I don't see why you feeling guilty has to be the reason you did what you did.
Seems pretty simple to just be kind to a guy trying to be kind to you. Idk what you want me to tell you. If you wondering what a guy who feels mistreated feels about you (namely me) idk i just feel like hopeless on building trust back. I think i feel that if i made friends with you, you'd still pull all the same antics or you'd just get bored and ghost.
Are you that greentext foid who posted earlier about the redditsperg you"advised" a year later on r/foreveralone?
Eli Gonzalez
The best thing you can do is realize that you hurt people and try not to do it again. I am bipolar so not the same but it has hurt people when I just would randomly not talk to them for months. So now I just don't talk to people and only do so when I know conversations will be short lived and won't try to have friends again until I improve as a person. Just work on yourself with reflection and introspection and you eventually will be fine enough.
