30+ Thread

How's your relationship with your parents? Do you blame them? Do they blame you?

Any advice you want to give zoomers?

Attached: 1647031404423.jpg (250x183, 4.73K)

continually growing resentment. i'm trying to get out of that mindset. she says i love you and feel nothing anymore. it's hard once you really deconstruct how physically and emotionally neglected you were as a kid. in my heart i still would prefer to have been aborted. i will never understand exposing a child voluntarily to a life of poverty and suffering. my father was never in the picture. he could die and i'd have no reaction.

>continually growing resentment
Does it ever subside?

A couple of bumps then I'll let the thread rest.

it could be worse
yes I blame them, they literally called me their guinea pig child and they raised my two younger siblings into functional normalfags

>guinea pig child
As a light-hearted joke?

If you're a young man on r9k right now, I have some advice for you as a 30 year ready to literally kill myself.

1. Do anything. Literally anything is better than nothing.
Even if wagecucking or getting turned down sucks, every life experience you go through teaches you something new. How to handle yourself, how to interact with people, how to cope with reality.

2. Doing nothing makes it harder to do something with each passing year.
If you're a neet that plays video games and shitposts all day, I did the same thing. I'm only 21, I'm only 24, I'm only 26... wait. The more time that passes, the more doing something no longer becomes a choice. You become maladjusted and will have a hard time getting your foot in the door literally anywhere. You might think you're choosing to be a neet now, but that choice won't be yours to make in the future.

3. You'll never have self confidence if you're not good at something.
Being good at something is the key to everything. It's the key to finding a job, which leads to financial freedom and no more feelings of being a burden, it gives you more worth in the eyes of others and they treat you better, that all leads to relationships and living your life. You need to find something that you're going to do to get good at. And if you're not sure, you've got to take your shot at something, see #1.

Stop living in escapism. Go to trade school, go to any post seconding program. Do anything and do it now. You'll have a hundred excuses as to why the economy sucks, you won't find a job after paying for courses, you think you're too stupid to achieve it, just fucking do it.

Attached: Wojak40.jpg (526x588, 88.63K)

I have a good relationship with my mother, my father passed away and wasn't in my life much when I needed a father figure. I don't resent either of them because I had a stroke of luck and turned out well even if I know I shouldn't have. My mother tried to be both disciplinarian and loving which ended horribly. She was incredibly inconsistent with rules as they were enforced zealously or not at all depending on her moods. I imagine it's like trying to teach a dog to not shit in the house by praising him for shitting on the floor and yelling at him when he shits outside for not doing it sooner. She was incredibly negative and nearly stunted me from ever climbing out through self-fulfilling prophecies by telling me I couldn't do anything right/won't finish anything I start/why bother. I lucked out big time I found a mentor that took a liking to me and all he had to do was recognize my talents and believe in me.

She doesn't blame me, she was just not the smartest at parenting. It's fun to ask her about times she beat me for no good reason like for throwing out an empty bic lighter and having her apologize and admit she was stressed out and needed something or someone to take it out on.

My advice for zoomers is to value accountability and integrity. I saw how my mentor handled himself in situations and I saw how by simply accepting and admitting his errors somehow everything turned out well, so I started doing the same. It's the single biggest turning point in my life is to accept blame, even if there are others with more blame than you. Simply accept fault for anything you did remotely wrong, apologize, and do better next time. When I was in the military I would sometimes break protocol and do things my way to be more efficient, but sometimes this backfires and something goes wrong. My superiors would call me in ready, but I'd just admit what I did and explain why and how I'd do it again if I didn't know better. They'd let me off the hook or with a little wrist slap.

30 as of last year. I long to create something. I have all of the time in the world to do so and yet my mind is a blank. The moment I start to start thinking critically I drift off and lose focus. It's too easy to fill the time with mindless dopamine instead.

Man Im on a dirty bed. When I wrote this a cat peeked in,
decided no. This house should be condemned. My mother caused all of this. She destroyed my father and my father destroyed me.

Attached: C7AAADE6-FD46-41F1-A79E-437178D45DC8.jpg (750x750, 90.84K)

continued

Stop obsessing about fucking girls. I stopped caring about being liked by girls when I was 20 and suddenly my social skills improved because I'd talk to women as if they were just an npc or anyone else without having sex with her on my mind. I met an e-girl when I was 25 that I married and then divorced her after 5 years. Don't fucking get married, that shit is fucking retarded but fortunately I knew my ex would never come after anything of mine and I'm pretty sure she knew I'd probably risk life in prison murdering her if she did, so it worked out.

Just focus on personal hygiene, be presentable, and also personable in time. Do this shit for yourself, not to attract women. Self improvement for your own sake. If you meet a girl cool. If not, even better.

Attached: HolUp.jpg (465x430, 43.07K)

for a time i blamed my parents but then i realized no one has any control

>You'll never have self confidence if you're not good at something.
I want to stress this one in case readers skipped that user's long post.

If all you can do it collect Xbox achievements, you will be scared to do real shit. Your confidence will be zero and you will be scared to interact with people that are good at shit, putting you deeper into the do-nothing cycle. You will wake up middle aged one day and realize you can't fucking do anything and your life was a waste of time. Just a heads up.

Attached: 1604880371901.jpg (720x754, 119.68K)

I bet a 40 year old would say the same thing to you

>You'll never have self confidence
fixed.

>Any advice you want to give zoomers?
You're not better than a normie because you have more introspective thoughts.

That really depends on what they actually know of your life. Most people will assume you've passed the usual milestones of life.

yea this is true. I'm 30 and finally deciding to be completely self-supporting and it really sucks to realize how much time i wasted. do it right the first time. get proficient at a real skill in your 20s when you have the energy and brain capacity.

i still have hope i can turn this around but its weighed against this vague shitty feeling of disillusionment.

HOWEVER, having left my parents house and vowing not to go back i actually feel "energized" now that my life is literally in my own hands, to craft and shape how i want, the money i make i can choose to invest it, or fuck hookers, etc.

don't languish at your parents house

Thank you, bro.
Thank you..

>don't languish at your parents house

I should have realised something was wrong when I was still living at my parents in my early 20s (and still there).

>31
>got new job in October
>they warned us at orientation its lots of hours and Saturdays
>didn't care because money money money
>6 months later
>realize how shit this is
>barely see my family, friends, or play any vidya anymore
>only day off is Sunday but I'm usually too tired to even sit down and play vidya
>but also don't want to disappoint parents by getting a new lower paying job just to have my life back

This is pain. I don't know how the workaholic fags do this shit. I miss having Saturdays off. I want to get a new job so bad. I had my first Saturday off last week and cried because I haven't had that much time to enjoy myself in months.

> How's your relationship with your parents?
I think it is pretty good. I seem them maybe once a fortnight or so for a coffee and a chat.

>Do you blame them?
Nope, I like them.

>Do they blame you?
Probably. They know their lives would have been easier if they didnt have children. They were slightly upset that I built my house at 29 and they are in their 50s and havent gotten their own place yet,

>Any advice you want to give zoomers?
No they can go fuck themselves. Do you honestly think you would have listened to anything anyone over 30 had to say when you were their age?

I like my life now I am older. My 20s were full of uncertainty and angst and anger. Now things are stable and my life is nice and decent.