Describe "the one that got away"

Describe "the one that got away"

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I was a retard, I wish I talked to her. She would always make herself approachable around me and kept looking at me over and over again. I was a dumb sperg who didn't understand the cues and really had terrible self worth so I couldn't bring myself to do anything about it. This went on for an entire semester and I did nothing. Thought I could see her again in the next semester and actually muster some courage to talk to her and perhaps ask her out but nope, covid lockdowns hit and we never saw each other again. I think she's graduating now, not sure what are the odds I even see her in campus again if they are reopened in the next semester. I feel so depressed thinking about how hard I've messed up.

How can I start to describe someone who doesn't exist

>the one that got away
>this pic

Which one? There was the one at school freshman year who kissed me, basically forced it on me but I never would have been kissed otherwise. Or long distance NY gf who sent me nudes and we had the same interests and she talked dirty to me all the time. Or the really lovely and sweet girl who I abandoned as my friend so forget ever having that chance or even being friends for that matter. My life is sad.

there's been too many. convinced i don't actually want a relationship considering how many times i have sabotaged casual female companionship for no reason

>be me
>dating the perfect girl
>still young with low self-esteem
>try to manipulate her and control her to be what I want, otherwise I'll hurt myself
>eventually she wises up and drops me
>realize later, "Wait a second. I should have been a good boyfriend."

some romanian girl who i went on a date with once, a long long time ago. only date i ever been in, i held her hands. it was so uncomfortable for me, on the subject of sex. i dont remember what i told her, but i sometimes still fantasize about kidnapping her and beating her into a stockholm syndrome love relationship. she was qt and skinny. she browsed Any Forums apparently, too

She was a Swede. Tall, tan, graceful, like a model. Blue eyes and perfect blond hair, with rounded glasses.

Politically minded, strongly left leaning but in an old fashioned way. She liked retaining culture and had traditionalist tendencies without being able to put a word to it. She was sick of the 'pc left' and found my unabashed rw views funny and refreshing

Definitely had issues, she was naive and selfish, had no sense of responsibility and knew she could live that way as a pretty girl. Part of why she liked me in the first place was that I didn't give her the attention she expected from me, i complained she wasn't pale enough and was too tall. I think it made her seek my approval in a weird way, some daddy issues going on

She was funny, carefree, a fierce debater, but just too much of a hippy for it to ever work and I was too messed up at the time, too dependent and chaotic

Middle school crush i guess
>Fiend for her for like 3 years
>Friends bully me to finally say something everyone knows i like her
>I walk up to her and it just won't come out i feel so god damn aweful
>Just so use to liking her i keep liking her in highschool
>She tells me she likes me again says i love you while looking right at me her eyes dilate
>She dates scumbag after scumbag at this point kek
Never took her virginity never did anything with her I don't think i ever even kissed her i still can remember the first time i ever liked her... I think she was the biggest crush i ever had really...

She had really pretty blue eyes but they sort of faded or whatever i guess as she got older she was tall and blonde i would text her all of the time

I thought about her recently in the shower... I remembered how much i liked her and crushed on her but now... I don't like anyone I'm not being edgy I'd genuinely kil people if i could over NOTHING or for petty gain like $20 HA so silly to imagine random dead bodies all over my county haha but i really don't feel affection fo anyone even underage people if i feel threatened i freak out and dehumanize them... Infact i not only DON'T care but actively hate most people now i quite frankly want to torture others or watch them suffer it isn't a good feeling and in a way it hurts me because i will never take pleasure in others company ever again and honestly thinking of the past i wish i could teleport away from here into a parallel universe

I don't want to shoot people anymore i want lash out stab and crush pound someones head with an axe or a bat or stab them again and again i want to feel them

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She is chinese (from china)
>freshman year she gets my number from someone and invites me out
>we start hanging out all the time because she's always inviting me to her room and stuff
>I don't get the hint
>we even sleep in the same bed a few times
>junior year, she stays in china because of travel restrictions
>comes back senior year
>confess my love to her
>asks why I never texted her while she was in china if I was thinking about her all the time
>don't know what to say
>in the end tells me she would be with me right now but our lives are going in separate directions and it won't work out
I saw her today by accident at the train station and we talked until she got off at her stop. I think about her all the time, even though I went all out and told her everything I felt about her. I've been able to move on with my life but she's still all I think about

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well it's a bit corny but the first gf I ever had, she was my first everything kiss, makeout, sex etc. she was very nice and we had a relationship in highschool that was perfect for social development. then she broke my trust by committing horrible acts and betraying me, and I ended it right there on the spot. then highschool ended and she moved away for college/work/etc. a million years passed and I am an ancientfag now.

I don't harbor any resentment towards her anymore, I have grown up and learned from all my past experiences hopefully in some way and in other ways to come. but there is the infinitesimal idea that exists that what if we never broke up and somehow made it past college and all that and were together today what could life be like. but I am sure we grew into two very different people. she was still a nice girl

She confessed to having genital herpes a few days before our first date and I had to cut her off. That's pretty much it. Still the only woman I've ever had serious feelings for. Now I just use women for their bodies.

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>match with insanely hot girl on Tinder
>profile looks incredibly fake and too good to be true
>start a conversation with her
>says she's into stand-up comedy
>refuses to share any videos of her routine
>convinced it's just a phony account
>hit block
>2 weeks later my car has engine problems
>take it to the garage
>she walks in while I'm scrolling my phone
>she laughs and says "Tinder?"
>amazed that she's actually real, and just as good looking in person
>explain that I only blocked her because I didn't think she was real
>she gives me a ride to work and we exchange numbers
>we text and have a lot in common
>she agrees to hang out at my place on saturday
>comes over earlier than scheduled
>we talk, make food, and do some outdoor activities
>near evening she kicks off her shoes and curls up on my couch saying her back hurts
>I give her a back rub and we eventually start making out
>this leads to sex
>afterwards I ask her to just watch some tv with me
>she initially agrees, but then immediately starts putting her clothes on saying she has to leave
>ask what happened
>she says "I think you're a cool guy and I dig your aesthetic, but I didn't expect to just come here and have sex!"
>I'm just like "Ok..."
>we open mouth kiss and she leaves
>never heard from her again
>

I wish women would let me use their bodies

It's enjoyable but the fun of it can wear off quickly and sometimes it just feels like a chore. The most I'm getting out of it is an ego boost and an orgasm that feels better than my hand. I don't care about these women. I want a woman to show me what love really is, instead of getting tricked into letting me use her as a sloppy fuckhole.

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Even that ego boost would be nice

t. 30 year old KV who can't look girls in the eyes

i used to walk to my old gfs house and play OG minecraft together before it got pozzed during high school
her dad was super abusive and had an affair
she never really recovered and became a drug addict but still somehow managed to finish college
i noped the fuck outta of that shit tho
big butt but became a stone cold bitch
other gf moved to some liberal city and became a part of a band
other love interest smoked meth
a lot of shit whamens bros becareful!

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We were 17 she was cute and approachable but in those times I was authistic, never had a gf so no game I asked her to be my gf by message, she kind of liked me but I messed everything up, I used to cry all the time thinking of her, she got an ugly boyfriend and I moved to uni, last time I saw her we were on a friends house in a reunion and she grabbed my leg and I died inside, now I am in a loving relationship but I still remember her fondly, I wish things had work out back then


She looked like the girl at 2:40 but short and skinny
youtu.be/zLX_GcXt2pI