Not fine. Years of chronic stress, anxiety and overall poor lifestyle habits have started taking a toll on me. I managed to quit cigarettes last year after a decade and half of daily chainsmoking, but I couldn't keep it up so I relapsed last month. Before I knew it I was smoking a pack a day again. I was also doing semi regular running and hiking with the intent of simply getting fit. I've had insomnia and irregular sleeping patterns for years too. I started fasting 2 years ago, partly for the mental benefits and partly because less meals mean less dishes to wash, less time spent preparing them and less time spent eating so I'd been doing either omad or 2 meals a day for the last months. All of this is mostly healthy by itself except when coupled with insomnia, physical overexertion relative to diet and sleep quality and heavy smoking. As if my retardation wasn't enough I developed the habit of daily coffee drinking and oversalting my meals. My dad keeps pressuring me to fuck off so more stress. In the end what had to happen, finally happened. Got a little too high blood pressure, a panic attack and a small nervous breakdown. I'm feeling better now but I can't stop worrying over the fact that
>my dad won't put up with me forever
>I'm increasingly feeling more and more cornered in general
>can't enjoy anything
>need to relax for the sake of my health but so far only anxiety and some spite have kept me pushing forward
>health is not improving but worsening actually
>the clock keeps ticking
All I want is a fucking break. Some much needed rest. Makes me guilty for wishing death on my own family so I can cash out on inheritance, but I see no other way around moreso with clown world in overdrive. "ww3" is kinda sus, prices WILL keep raising, wages WILL keep dropping. Holy shit im not going to make it..
>Living without parents is great.
This is my one and only wish in life.