/avpd/

>will probably die having been too scared to ever initiate intimacy

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the answer is prostitutes

I saw one once. It was completely awful. I guess if I found the right one that could make me comfortable it would be worth it but it seems like that would be hard to find. I don't make money yet anyways and I'm paranoid of diseases anyways

yeah stick to one avpd thread a day fag boy

So damn tragic.
But what can be done when one is wired that way.
It's even more tragic when one is aware of it and they watch their life pass on by.

gtfo my thread newfag

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I remember the first time I liked a girl but was too shy to ever say anything. It was kindergarten

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LDAR is our way of life

My literal first words were go away. This shit is hard coded into me. I only ever had one job and I quit after awhile cause I had to come home to people too. Its one thing to pretend like Im not panicking where I work but at my house thats too much. I moved back in with my parents after I quit my job and school. People are fucking terrifying. I cant breathe around them. I have to chain smoke and down large amounts of alcohol just to be with friends. Im the worst thing in the world. A lazy coward is the lowest form of life.

What does LDAR stand for

welcome to the nhk boyo

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This is me in a nutshell. I think the main causes for myself were

>Coddling mom who did everything for me and usually talked me out of taking risks
>Dad who teased me about girls which made me afraid to talk to them
>Me convincing myself that I had low self-worth in order to justify my own laziness

>>Coddling mom who did everything for me and usually talked me out of taking risks
check
>>Dad who teased me about girls which made me afraid to talk to them
check kinda. he was no help in socializing me and had screwed up relationships himself
>>Me convincing myself that I had low self-worth in order to justify my own laziness
when you're alone for so long your brain literally breaks and you can think all kinds of crazy stuff. not our fault. Normal people don't view socializing as "lazy" or not lazy. It's just a natural part of their lives they take for granted since birth.

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>when you're alone for so long your brain literally breaks and you can think all kinds of crazy stuff.

I started thinking this was when I was like ten years old though

You're supposed to have friends constantly from age 5+ for proper development

I'm pretty sure I have avpd and it fucking sucks

I watched that and I honestly seem more hopeless than him. Im reading the book that made the word hikikimori popular now and all of it lines up with me. I had an absent hard working father and overbearing lazy mother, Ive developed ocd and all sorts of sleeping issues, I have anthropophobia, etc. I dont know how to cure myself or if thats even possible. The book says its an issue with maturing and never really becoming an adult and thats likely true. Im regressed in subtle ways and I am not mature enough to control my own life.

everyone else had strong role had their parents teach them how to live meanwhile I had a single mother who grew up among nuns and books and a dysfunctional dad from another culture. I never had a chance. I sure as hell never got to become an adult. Never got to experience anything. and I am tasked with learning everything on my own as an adult. It's a struggle to just not suicide

I did have friends at that age, back then the self-esteem issues were mainly related to school performance

I did too, but I just became a sperglord with no guidance and my ocd brain working unchecked. It takes a lot of work to raise well adjusted children. Neglect fucks up children hard.

yes this shit made me lose opportunities with a lot of girls in uni... I literally would go entire semesters intentionally ignoring them because I was such a retard. Wish I could undo my mistakes

>Can't get a job because nearly faint during interviews, family and friends are giving up and moving on without me
I will do whatever the fuck it takes to defeat this I really hope it's max 50% genetic