Why am I Attracted to Older Men?

Ever since I reached puberty, I always fantasized about being with someone older than. By older I mean 20-30 years older. I have no idea why I always think it might work, but I imagine that they'd take care of me emotionally and be nice. I got cheated on by a guy in his late 50's because he thought I'd leave him. I don't understand why I couldn't pick someone better.

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>Why am I Attracted to Older Men?
Because you are gay

A females most basic emotion is fear. Because of this what women seek in partners is someone that will make them feel safe. If you have a bad relationship with your father, you are seeking a father replacement for stability to reduce fear. If you have a good relationship with your father and he makes you feel safe then you go after older men because you want more of that same feeling of safety.

The majority of women are attracted to older men. In their minds, older = greater status, wealth, and emotional capability. Many such cases.

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That makes no sense. I don't know anyone that would accept someone that old. I literally love them for them. They're usually horrible looking and don't care of themselves, but it makes me focus on their character. They still end up cheating when they could.

How do you say "this is a weird male written fantasy" without it looking like a meme.

how old are you currently, op?

I'm 27. My previous 3 lovers were all in their 50's. I always wanted to have someone that I could realistically have a family with. Younger guys would have just been interested in sex. I wanted someone that would love me and settle down with me.

I did have money before I started one. I wanted to show to them I'm real and not after their money.

>Younger guys would have just been interested in sex
sounds like you've been choosing the wrong younger guys then, i'm 29 and having a loving relationship and settling down is exactly what i want

Can't relate. Older men are unironically disgusting to me and have bad breath, rotting back teeth from age and acid reflux, low test which makes them simps, flabby bodies, bad at sex with no stamina, beer guts, receding hairlines, grey pubes, and autism baby sperm. I think to be attracted to an older man you must have been raped as a kid or have really low self esteem. Imagine wasting your precious youth on some fat boomer pedo.

Shotas and adolescent Chads all the way. Pic rel is 16 btw.

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I never chose them. Its like, they can't talk about anything if it isn't sex. I don't want someone to just make it about sex, I want to feel safe and secure.

I think it's a self-esteem issue too. I actually thank them at times for being with me. I just feel humiliated thinking I made them take advantage of me when I thought they were a safe bet.

>I never chose them
what do you mean, they chose you?

>I want to feel safe and secure
ngl that's the same thing i want out of a relationship, for me the sexual side is always secondary to the emotional side

I mean I never had a younger lover because I can't establish any connection with them.

>can't establish any connection with them
why, what is it about them you can't connect with?

The overemphasis on sexuality. Most times, it's just them wanting to be sexual. I can't feel any sort of attraction if you're gonna jump straight into sexual things.

I'm 30, it's actually kind of nice meeting women who are 18 or 19 that want someone with experience and knowledge to talk to them. The thing is, what most women like you mean when you say "taking care of you emotionally and being nice" is actually running your life, being your therapist and validating whatever mood you're in. These are the things a parent does. The expectations just aren't reasonable if I'm ever going to look at you and not think you act like a child. Also, you can't pick someone better because you're dealing with other people who have decades more experience dealing with other people. You're more naive, ignorant and uneducated than the vast majority of them. Of course you're going to have a hard time sifting the wheat from the chaff.

>I can't feel any sort of attraction if you're gonna jump straight into sexual things
from what i've told you of myself, would you be interested in getting to know me?

Yes, I think so too. I wanted someone to validate my feelings when I'm upset. I don't get upset at them, but when I have a bad day, I want someone to vent to. Older people to me would have fit the bill since they'd care more about my feelings than just my body. I was obviously naive to think I could ever have anyone care for me more than my family.

I hope in therapy I could get to know why I keep making the same mistake.

I have a feeling it's your issue, not theirs.
If *every* young guy you met wants sex before you're comfortable with it, maybe you're just too slow about it?

I wasn't gonna give my body to someone that just wanted to pump and dump. None of the older ones did that, they were sincere at first then strayed. I just feel dirty and used after 3 failures.

I'm in the middle of a huge heartache. I don't think I'd be able to be in any relationship without being toxic and insecure soon. I can't even sleep from the shock of it all.

>I don't think I'd be able to be in any relationship
that's alright, i don't want to immediately jump into a relationship, i want to take the time to get to know you and form a bond with you if that's okay

>I can't even sleep
i'm having trouble sleeping too (it's 6am where i am) so we could just kill some time together until we pass out

Right, but that's not how relationships with other people work. If I get upset, no one in my life is going to validate my feelings unless they also think it's valid. The only people who do that are scared of losing you or manipulative.