How are people happy?

It sounds like you have tried.
Having your own happiness being dependent on other people is always incredibly rough. I suggest try to change that to be satisfied about giving your best effort - its all you can control.

there is nothing about myself that makes me want to live
there is no joy in solitude. i have too many things in my head that will hurt me if i have nothing else to do. i need objectives, i need company, i need purpose and affection to function. i've been bullheaded, forcefully optimistic, obsessive even about building a life that i can be happy in, but nobody else seems to cooperate. there's either no interest, or they have too much/the wrong kind. the kind that makes me feel like i have no skin left to barricade me from every sensation in the world.
there's nothing that hasn't not worked. i'd be retreading old ground and hoping something is different, and isn't that what they say insanity is?

i don't want to kill myself, but unless something changes, my current life isn't really worth the title of living.

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You can't make them cooperate though, and about half of them are retarded just to start with. Finding unique (and good) people is a difficult task, much less finding one and fucking them for years on years.

Set smaller goals for a while that you keep meeting until you can set a larger goal that you can accomplish without burning the fuck out trying.

I do struggle with purpose though, if you look at it in the lens of 'will people remember me x years after I'm gone' pretty much everyone is inconsequential to all but a few people around them.

ive been failing those minor goals. my last mindset was "talk to a stranger once a week." i said hey to a guy and he basically fucking mugged me. i seriously cannot cope with humanity like this.

i dont even need to be remembered. i just want to have a family to love. thats all.

They do things they enjoy

You may need to set even smaller goals then, like "talk to some faggot on a degenerate corner of the internet for a few sentences back and forth", and you can check that box off then.

Family as a goal is complicated. The non advice I'll offer is that you can find the people absolutely desperate to settle down and marry at religious events at your local church generally, but you have to tolerate going to church all the time to keep up the persona.

i guess thats a decent point. ive done that, i engage online pretty regularly. i still have no luck when it comes to real life though

also yeah im... not becoming religious

I still don't find any value in the random person, but you know you can at least survive a near mugging so you did gain something from the exchange, though may not have been worth the trade.

If I was dropped in a random city without knowing anyone and really longing to at least make stable acquaintances with a few people (others than neighbors,coworkers) I'd try to join a local in person group around a hobby,skill, or a cause I could pretend to care about long enough to figure out if I wanted to continue or drop it.

I'm still waiting at 30.

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I am big brain, just take drugs and alcohol to turn off brain and be happy, pic related

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