>be a hopeless alcoholic for the better part of five years
>finally get sober after several tries
>been sober for about a year now
>constantly ruminating over all the times i embarrassed myself drunk
>like "enough to forever change people's opinion of me" embarrassed
>feel weird at family gatherings where everyone's drinking wine and some relative asks if i want water or soda
>feel weird in social settings with friends for the same reason
>get invited to things but always with the caveat "it's totally cool if you don't feel comfortable though man!"
>realize i've irreparably damaged my reputation forever
Fucking sucks, man. I know I did this to myself and I know that there are some bells you just can't unring but that doesn't make it any better. Any anons here have stories about drugs or alcohol fucking up their lives?
Be a hopeless alcoholic for the better part of five years
This is why I cannot go sober. My friends and family will simply have to suffer. Besides, it's fun for them more often than it's not...
>This is why I cannot go sober. My friends and family will simply have to suffer
That wasn't the point of my post at all. My life is better for being sober by several orders of magnitude. My point was that sometimes you do something that you might be able to make amends for but things will never be the same, and that's a hard pill to swallow. What are some things you've put your family and friends through that you would take back if you could, user?
I have a hard time believing no one here has a story about fucking up their lives with drugs or alcohol.
You need to remove the shame from your personality, it's holding you back. Do you think Chad gives a fuck about what people think? Cats don't even consider what a mouse thinks about them.
>get invited to things but always with the caveat "it's totally cool if you don't feel comfortable though man!"
sounds like you have good friends and this is all in your head desu
All I got from your post was that going sober has made things awkward for you. Maybe even made you look like a bit of a fool for going back on your past actions. That will never be me. I'm glad I hit my brother. The little cunt had it coming and the alcohol just sped the process along. As for the string of drunken embarrassments, my friends all just know me as a wildcard and wouldn't invite me back if I was really that bad.
based (and original) clownmaxxer
That phase will pass. Most people do not care one way or another whether or not you decide to drink. I thought AA taught you that the world doesn't revolve around alcoholics.
>I have a hard time believing no one here has a story about fucking up their lives with drugs or alcohol.
This. Very Much This. I completely fucked my life up due to getting arrested for drugs on the cusp of becoming a lawyer. My last semester of law school ended up taking 1.5 years and I am still experiencing the fall out from that situation.
>If the wrost that happened to OP was a couple embrassing stories than he should consider himself fortunate that his inability to handle alcohol didn't cost him anythign besides his reputation.
What did you do that was so bad you couldn't pass the character and fitness hurdle of the bar?
My timeline goes something like this:
>drug arrest for 160+ oxy, scale, cocaine
>rehab
>charges for the original charges dropped
>end up using drugs againa nd my graduation is delayed
>graduate
>graduated law school but can't take the bar and get a law job at this point due to not having my shit together
>work at whole foods fish counter for 18 months total before I sit for bar
>Pass Winter 2020 Bar
>Covid
>My bar application is still pending.
I've been sober and in recovery for four years. No charges ever stuck on my record. I could get fingerprinted tomorrow and nothing would show up.
>be a hopeless alcoholic for the better part of five years
>drink alone in my room every night and tell nobody I drink
>people I know irl think I'm mostly straight edge and are surprised that when I do drink I can handle it easily
Your first mistake was letting anybody get to know you in the slightest
lotta cheap jokes i could make about you trying to be a practicing attorney with that record but instead i'll just ask, why the fuck wouldn't you just apply for a bunch of tangentially-related jobs on the basis of your law degree (which according to you you actually do have) and wait for the best offer? do you realize what kind of cache a law degree carries? it's not like anyone's going to say "yeah, okay sure, you have the degree and proved it, but did you pass the bar?".
I paid my debts to society and got straightened out. If anything, you should be happy they perform a lot of scrutiny of people with records. I have been working in a law firm while I wait for my bar passage but I am not earning what I should be nor advancing in the way I should be due to not being an actual lawyer. It's hard to leverage it fully.
>it's not like anyone's going to say "yeah, okay sure, you have the degree and proved it, but did you pass the bar?"
I did pass but I am not admitted. It's unethical to misrepresent that and yes they do ask where you're admitted.
You're talking about jobs in the criminal justice system. I'm talking about the multitude of high-paying jobs that would happily hire you on the basis of your law degree alone.
Very True. For the next term I am applying to professor/teacher type jobs. I can start at a ncie rate with an advacned degree and get summers off.
Hopefully in a few months I will have an uplifting good feels story to share her or Any Forums. Best of luck to you w everything
You'll have to clean up your act first because you're drunk as fuck and I can't even see or hear you right now. What I meant was advisory positions or account managers or financial advisors or some shit like that. Having a law degree will wow the shit out of the vast majority of employers, no questions asked. You just have to act the part, which you won't be able to do as a drunk.
>You'll have to clean up your act first because you're drunk as fuck and I can't even see or hear you right now. What I meant was advisory positions or account managers or financial advisors or some shit like that
I think you are confusing my story with that of OP but thanks for your kind words
I reduced my drinking to moderate levels mostly for health reasons. I never had any serious embarrassing moments because of drinking, a couple of times I drunk texted ex-girlfriends and regret it in the morning. But that's it.
however when I've taken MDMA in public in the past I turned into a completely different person and cringe looking back at it
i am the op, lol. i was referring to what i can deduce from the wording of your posts.
What happened when you were on MDMA? Any sexual conquests that you regret?