ITT: Times you won. I'll start.
>5th grade, lunch time
>my school doesn't really 'do' bullying
>it's not like they have a strict zero-tolerance policy or anything, it's just that students are naturally pretty chill
>new kid approaches, he's only been coming here for like two weeks
>to this day, I'm not really sure what his problem was
>maybe he came from a school where there was a clear pecking order or something
>immediately starts picking on me, out of the blue
>calling me ugly and poor and whatever else
>making as much of a spectacle as possible, gathering onlookers
>never been in this situation before, not even really hurt, just kind of confused and trying not to engage
>other students aren't egging him on or trying to stop him, just, looking
>keep eating and ignoring him until eventually he says, "Your dad's in jail."
>I respond with, "Yeah, well, your dad's in a coffin, so."
>silence
>he turns bright red and starts breathing weird
>he very quietly says, "No he's not, he's..." but trails off before he can finish the sentence
>more silence
>people are staring
>bell rings
>I throw my trash away and leave
>he stays dead silent for the rest of the year
>actively avoids me when he sees me coming (in my defense, I was trying to apologize and be friends with him)
>desu I didn't know if his dad was really dead, I just said it and it worked
>no idea how he knew my dad was in jail though
ITT: Times you won. I'll start
>I respond with, "Yeah, well, your dad's in a coffin, so."
I don't have any stories like this unfortunately but holy fucking shit, good on you brother and thanks for making me laugh for a minute straight.
>16yo in high school
>in physics
>it's Friday last period so I'm feeling good
>realise I don't have a pen
>there was a group of popular kids in the class that stuck to themselves
>always polite to them but try to leave them be
>maybe because I was in a good mood but I turned around and asked one of the girls to borrow a pen
>she just stares back at me, genuinely shocked that someone like me would dare ask her for a pen
>says "no" in disgust and continues to stare at me perplexed
>my mood changes from comfy/happy to rage
>hock one back and spit straight into her face
>she flips out trying to attack me
>she calls me a nigger (we were all white)
>teacher breaks it up
She got suspended for a week for dropping the n-word and I got 1 day for spitting.
>she calls me a nigger (we were all white)
based Stacy
I have a similar Story
>First day of Kindergarten
>One of the kids is always destroying my legos
> somehow new that his dad is dead
> tell him that devil got his dad
> Dein Vater hat der Teufel geholt
> he cries for 3 days
> tell him that he should stop being a sissy because of some words
> somehow that made it worse
> everyone gives me fault, that the faggot wont shut up
Why do normies cry over some fucking words
that kid's gotta have some issues nowadays specifically because of that incident lmao
> 10th grade or so, biology
> Pretty good student, high grades, classic nerd stuff
> Girl that sits next to me is this fat goblina spic
> Asks me if I can do her take-home test for her in return for $20
> Seems easy enough
> Do it, easy A for both of us
> Says she'll pay me tomorrow
> Doesn't pay
> Ask her again
> Laughs it off
Some time later
> "I'll pay you $50 if you do this test for me user to make up for last time"
> She tried doing this weird cutesy flirting thing but she was so fucking ugly due to how fat she was and smelled like shit
> I know she's not going to pay, but agree
> Write "FUCK NIGGERS" in every answer past the first page
> Take time meticulously making sure it's nothing close to my penmanship
Next day
> Teacher is taking everyone's tests and checking to make sure no answers were blank (kind of a weird habit he had)
> Gets to fat spics
> Freaks out
> Goblina looks to me in horror and disbelief
> Teacher probably knew since she went from C's to an A suddenly
> She gets sent to principal and suspended for a week
> Threatens to have her beamer friends jump me
> Never happened
Seats got changed while she was gone for whatever reason I can't remember (had something to do with two girls that didn't like each other)
It was you, you fucking bitch. I never thought i'd find you motherfucker.
>industrial fireman/security officer
>get a new guy in the fire house
>bit of a goober but I feel bad for him so I give him some advice and help him with shit
>starts getting annoying, like following me like a lost puppy annoying
>still try to help
>on midnights we have the rule of once lights are out either read with a reading light or watch shit with earbuds in
>he will watch shit at full volume with no earbuds
>sets alarms for 4am (shift change isn't until 730 and we are all awake by 6) and doesn't wake up
>3 weeks ago shift bids come up because of all the new hires
>he's getting asshurt because he's getting booted over someone more senior
>goes to the captain in charge of scheduling on "my behalf" (he didn't he was lying) and says I have an issue with the schedule (I didn't)
>this gets back to me so I just full on ignore him while I think I a way to get back at him
>starts pouting all week
>remember a while ago he said my buddy's sister was a whore and quit another fire department because she couldn't handle it
>buddy wants to beat his ass
>everyone starts ignoring him now
>new guy starts last week and already hates his guts
>just find out today he's talking more shit about me
At this point out of like the 13 or so guys no one talks to him. Like this dude just keeps digging a deeper and deeper hole for himself.
It's only a matter of time before he quits or goes and cries to the site manager because he's the biggest crybaby on the department.
>be doing art project
>cutting some fabric and making a sick ass secret agent Club Penguin stuffed animal
>fuck yeah
>for some reason this Pygmy looking little Mexican bitch keeps messing with me
>throws crayons at my head, teasingly
>8 year old sperg brain doesn't understand she's just messing with me
>get pissed
>tell her to stop
>this bitch has the nerve to do it again as soon as my back is turned
>see red
>sperg brain reboots as crayon bounces off my head
>hostile_detected... scanning... deploying_scissors.exe
>grab this little bitch by the hair
>snip her ponytail off
>she looked like a boy for the rest of the school year
Still have that stuffed animal btw
This story isnt about me but it was still a epic win
>brother has a stocky build
>broad shoulders, big chest, but also fat and hairy
>literally a bear
>for some reason manages to befriend the two biggest bullies in class
>bullies are your stereotypical aggressive gopniks
>their influence made my brother aggressive and extreme at times (sadly)
>a turk starts shit with my brother
>"you fat piece of shit, I bet I can roll you around like a ball"
>"and I bet I could sit on you without you able to escape, stickfigure"
>turk swings and connects
>fight breaks out
>gopniks join which spells instant victory for my brother
>brother sits down on the turks chest
>he whines and says he cant breath
>gopniks spit on him and verbally assault him more, occasionally slaps him
>after ca. 3 minutes brother stands up
>nobody fucked with my brother after that
The cherry on top was that when I met the turk in town randomly he got fat himself
>Still have that stuffed animal btw
post it user
Post the stuffed penguin or this story is fake and gay
You sure act like a nigger but I hate women too so...
Don't throw crayons at people
Unfathomably based
Fuck you this is an original comment
>Be me at local bar alone watching football and drinking as I always do
>Group of staceys and chads walk in
>They snigger at me from afar
>Stacey comes up and says 'buy me a drink"
>Tell her to fuck off
>She spergs out and calls me a little piece of shit
>2 mins later chad walks over to me and taps me on shoulder
>Hey dude whats your problem, she asked for a drink not attitude
>Jump off stool, grab empty pint glass and warn guy not to fuck me with
>Bar tender orders them all out
>Bouncers kicks them from bar then comes for me, bar tender stops him and purs me a fresh pint
>They stand out in the rain, cold and wt, night ruined, stacies going off at the chads for not kikcing my manlet ass and ruining their evening
>Bar tender says he saw everything that happened and had my back
Fuck normies
Based bartender. Isn't it expensive to drink at a bar all the time though? I'd rather drink alone
>Based bartender
Yeah he was, his name was Neil and he was Scottish. Mad lad. Took good care of me for 5 years when I drank there. I had my own chair at the bar and everything.
>Isn't it expensive to drink at a bar all the time though?
I only went there on weekends. The incident occurred on a friday night. The group in question were clearly using the bar as their pre-drinks before a night in the city.
>grab empty pint glass and warn guy not to fuck me with
Ey jabroney, you see dis pint glass right here? You're not gonna like what happens if you fuck me wit dis
It was in Australia you dumb celtic nigger.
>IM NOT CELT!
You you are.
> Third highschool year after getting in a new school
> One week into the semester
> I come back from the break just to discover that all my stuff disappeared, my backpack, books, everything
> Start looking around
> Bully start laughing asking me where my stuff went
> Do not answer.jpg
> Eventually I find my stuff hidden above the door (in a wall recess)
> Next day break
> No one in the classroom
> I get bully stuff from the table, I get his backpack
> Throw everything out of the window (2nd floor)
> He comes back, almost immediately connects the dots
> "Where is my stuff user?!"
> "Out of the window", I reply pointing at the window
> He get super confused, perplexed like he couldn't neither imagine someone would have done something like this
> He rush retrieving his stuff
> I sit down to start the class
This exact thing happened to me except the bully kicked my ass then proceeded to steal my shit for 6 months and throw shit at me in the yard everyday.