High test, low motivation

Bros, I'm 37. Fecently I checked my testosterone levels. I expected hypogonadal levels, given that I was depressed my whole life, I'm very timid and medium sex drive. I also never had sex (partially because of religious reasons and partially because of avoidance personality disorder).
But my testosterone came out over 700 ng/dL. I also did some basic bloodwork apart from that and everything is in range. I don't understand it. Why am I unmotivated timid fuck with such high testosterone?

I don't do drugs, don't drink, don't smoke. Is there something else I should check? I've seen endocrinologist, but since my bloodwork is good she doesn't find an issue. She told me to check my prolactin, but I'm grasping straws at this point.

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Single parent, internet induced mental illness, world is coming to an end and subconsciously the will to fight is gone, never been punched in the face, only ever lost wrestling matches, more L’s than W’s in general. I’m sure there are more but really your L counter has become the norm and no amount of hormones can fix that.

>depressed
>timid
>avoidant
>normal test and blood
You have mental issues bruh. Seek help for mental isuses.

Also stop being nice

Because society is collapsing, it's not your fault.
Everyone feels this way, but a majority of people get prescribed anti depressants and other pharmaceutical cocktails that are designed to emotionally neuter you.

I've got both parents, but my father was pretty unsupportive. The rest might be true
I did few sessions of therapy, but I guess it wasn't enough.
I guess it won't hurt to try again
I did SSRIs, but they castrated me emotionally and had other sides. They did help for anxiety and avoidance though
it's pretty ingrained in me

I thought maybe there's something wrong with my physically, but maybe I'm indeed fucked in the head

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Therapy rarely works. They will try and throw you on ssris that will tank your good blood. They will also attack your religion. While I agree the church is run by faggots you need to get that Old Testament warrior shit in you. You know, the ones God blessed while they fucked prostitutes and had 10 or more wives and 12 sex slaves. The ones people pretend God suddenly would shun after Jesus came. Other things are like The Game by Neil Strauss. Wild at Heart for your Christian reinforcement, the actual book Fight Club (yes, it is written as satire because the dude doesn’t understand the beauty of what was written, one of the times death of the author has some use). But above all you have to get the neutered part of your religion out of your head. Christianity has been slowly killing itself since the 60’s in hopes of mass appeal. Other people will just scream kike on a stick at you. Ultimately you have to decide for yourself and act accordingly.

SSRIs made me more suicidal.

Are you overweight? Do you have any hobbies?

Seriously, look at shit like your stupid Christian music, like those fags in Skillet that have been using the same chords and rhythms since 2002. It is alway I’m a bad person, I’m a bad person, kill me, kill me, I’m a bad person, I’m a literal monster, I can’t wait to die and see Jesus so I can be good finally. Fuck that noise. Not taking the humanist perspective but why the hell do you carry that with you everywhere if you are truly free in salvation? Fuck that and fuck them.

do NOT listen to this fuck and do not stop trying to find therapy that works for you, if your psychiatrist just wants to throw you some SSRIs and send you to a CBT therapist and call it a day find another psychiatrist, they are not all like this although many if not most are.

Mental illness is a lifelong struggle and it can be really discouraging fairly quickly to stop seeking solutions, but if you keep trying you really can find a solution that helps you feel better. Maybe try a psychotherapist or occupational therapist, there are many types, having one that doesn't judge your religion is definitely a plus.

Fuck you kike shill, therapy will only hurt him more.

How? I suggested going to a GOOD therapist, not a checked out jobber. Persistence is key.

>But above all you have to get the neutered part of your religion out of your head.
I don't think there are neutered parts in Catholicism. You can interpret them that way, if you're a faggot, but Jesus said if you don't have a sword, buy a sword and be ready.
Various bishops cherry pick what fits into their agenda, but there are some based ones too. Ironically a lot of them are African.

I don't think I'm mentally ill. Actually I think I'm one of the most level headed people in my surroundings and my peers would probably confirm.
I just got personality disorder that makes my life shit. I want to get rid of those traits. I thought maybe I'm low T, but that's scratched. So there's no chemical fixing of this, I gotta work on my personality.

There is no such thing. Everyone I’ve gone to has always lead with you are incredibly intelligent and you will figure it out, take these pills. They make your dick stop working and you won’t be able to fall in love but it might help the depression. Every. Single. One. Different cities, different locations. The pills made me balloon up to almost 400 pounds. They don’t want you well, they want you crazier and catatonic to pay off their own loans. Tony Robbins is less sinister.

also psychotherapists in my country don't judge religion. Most are actually Christian. I'll certainly give it a shot, thanks bro.

No, I'm in a good shape.
I liked vidya and reading books, but somehow I don't do it anymore.

Test is just one hormone. It can’t fix autism otherwise ftm troons would instantly be cured and detrans.

>Mostly African
No shit. Most clergy bred in American Seminary are taught by athiests that don’t even believe the bible and would sub in harry potter and marvel if they could.

I'm using "mental illness" as an umbrella term to refer to any sort of social maladaptation, not to suggest that you are "sick" per se. My advice still stands, please read it as just a service to consider that may improve your quality of life rather than a "cure" to an illness.

>The pills made me balloon up to almost 400 pounds.
they do increase the appetite but I gained 10 pounds, not 200. I'm off of them now though.