HOLY SHIT Any Forums I figured it out

>everything is an onion
I got caught like that lol but i was too greedy

>Im not gay but pussy makes my dick soft

you sound delusional in more ways than one

I just walk in and take what I want, nobody stops me

>WHat foodhacks does Any Forums know?
I have one.
>Go to grocery store
>get what I want
>pay for it
>leave
Spend less time on Any Forums and figuring out ways to squeeze a stone and more time getting a decent career going.

I was buying olives today, it wasn't ringing up so the wagie walked over and said "guess you're getting it for free" and put it in my bag. She didn't know I marked all of the organic produce I got as broccoli right before.

>pussy makes my dick soft
I got bad news user

>Im not gay but pussy makes my dick soft and I usually can only coom from blowjobs/hanjobs FROM WOMEN NOT MEN
literally me. what's wrong with us? I like pussy but I find it super difficult to get/maintain an erection when I'm fucking, I really have to be in "the zone" so to speak if I wanna fuck her, and yet I can easily get rock hard from blowjobs and can cum very easily

You think you've figured it out? listen closely user, I'm about to shatter your entire worldview.
>go to the meats section
>grab a big, expensive cut of beef
>it has to be something that was butchered and packaged at the store, not prepacked stuff like in your pic
>the sort of stuff that has a printed sticker label. You can probably see where I'm going with this
>find a cut of beef that's far less expensive than what you bought
>you should try to find something that looks similar, but it's not totally necessary
>put both in your cart and go to a different part of the store with less people
>act like you're rummaging through your cart while peeling the sticker off the cheaper meat
>slap it overtop the existing sticker on the expensive meat
>go back to the meat section and put the now stickerless cut of meat back in the cooler
>if there are people around, act like it wasn't satisfactory and pretend to look at the other options, then leave
>go to self checkout, scan and pay
I've had a tenderloin roast every month for the last half a year doing this. The price I've paid for them combined is less than the sticker price of a single roast. If the self checkout is closed, or if you're at a store that doesn't have self checkout, just find a cashier who's a young woman. She won't be able to tell that the label she's scanning isn't for the same cut of meat. Works every time.

Remember, you didn't hear this from me.

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You're a faggot

you are suffering from iron dick grip when you masturbate, which has desensitised your penis. You should try jerking off with a softer grip from now on (use lube/baby oil to make up for the lack of pleasure), or alternatively, and more effective, stop jerking off entirely. This fixed my problem within a week.

You're not gay, you're just a coomer.

One more thing. Although I used beef as my example, this can be tricky with beef as it's typically wrapped in very thin plastic. Same thing goes for chicken. The plastic can rip if you pull the sticker off poorly. Fish, on the other hand, is often packaged in thicker plastic to prevent the liquids from seeping out. Not only is it practically impossible to rip this thicker plastic, but it's much easier to cleanly pull the label off. Make sure your pulls are clean, otherwise it'll look suspicious. I'm pretty good at this because I used to work in a deli and often had to remove labels I made a mistake on.

Death grip my dudes. You need to stop jackin it so hard.

You should try just walking out of the store without paying for things. Much easier.