AEW DYNAMITE GAMETHREAD #1

What is this face ?

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no milly guaranteed. the fooking state

>Dynamite Bunny
Milly Confirmed
ACKNOWLEDGE HER

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Milky Milly

>Thunderstorm vs Marina Shafir & Nyla Rose
800k viewers maximum. This match alone is -500k views.

what is she even doing nowadays?

No Christian match no watch

back to yo-yo ratings trannys

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>Wardlow v Sky (c)
I don't think I've been this excited for a street fight since Tommy Gilbert vs Buddy Wayne, circa 1979 Memphis Wrestling. The preponderance of AEW exhibiting eastern territory flavor doesn't seem to fallacious these days. Wardlow, whose power level as been fully sequestered since his inception, looks to dethrone Scorpio, whose talents are aptly comparable to Ricky Romero of Western States Sports. Intriguingly transient in his offensive assault, the champion will need to muster a performance akin to Jim Conklin in Stephen Crane's 1895 masterpiece "The Red Badge of Courage." Let's just hope the loser of the match doesn't become the tattered soldier. Thank you, 2x booker of the year for this match.
>Butch/Blade v Lee/Swerve
This match would be considered the main event in any of wrestling's promotions, yes, including R.B. Benjamin's London Tournament where Gama bested Zybysko and Gotch. Butch and Blade, whose alliteration perfect dispells any vacillation that they aren't perfectly in tandem. Lee and Swerve evoke musings of complimentary generals. Lee, perhaps a Khalid ibn al-Walid and Swerve more like John J. Pershing. Great match.
>Cage/Luchasaurus
I usually only comment on matches, but this segment is worth the time for . I'm reminded of the dynamic between Aaron Stampler and Martin Vail in Gregory Hoblit's 1996 legal thriller Primal Fear. The inspiration is undeniable, although Tony seemingly has taken William Diehl's literary interpretation as opposed to the film's portrayal of the relationship. Cage is a classic heel as is Stampler. Manipulative, cunning, with sinster sesquipedalian expositions. Lucha, much like Vail, is innocently ignorant, all while holding a position of unrealized power. Fascinating story telling on Tony's part.
>Moxley v King
I've got my popcorn ready. This is a champion match that would make Naoki Sugabayashi blush. Brody King has that quality of wrestler that is encapsulated by the anaphora nature of his name.

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The Blade

>All-Atlantic Championship not on Dynamite for the second time in a row
Jfc, already forgotten

PAC is defending that in the UK against Shooter Umino

>>Wardlow vs Scorpio Sky(c) in a Street Fight for the TNT Championship
Wardlow needs to squash Sky
>>The Butcher & The Blade vs Keith Lee & Swerve Strickland
Queef Lee and Strickland beat the Meat Gentleman and Fishmonger, hopefully, no one gets hurt.
>>Christian Cage & Luchasaurus appear live!
Christian becomes the only thing worth watching for the third straight week
>>Thunderstorm vs Marina Shafir & Nyla Rose
The Rating crater to record lows as Thunderstorm wins, someone gets sandbagged and Marina comes out to crickets. Everyone goes to the bathroom.
>>Jon Moxley(c) vs Brody King for the AEW Interim World Championship
Fake tough guy Moxley wins and bleeds against Fat-tattoo tough guy shitter
The show is easily going to go back to under a million.

>The Rating crater

GOOOOOD MORNING