There's murderer calling for you inside your house. How do you beat him?

There's murderer calling for you inside your house. How do you beat him?

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I have no house.

I use my charisma to sell him the house and use the money for desomorphine

I live in freedomland so you can imagine how it ends for the murderer
My pet eagle claws his eyes out of course.

I don't. Just fuck my shit up, bro.

My house is unironically booby trapped. Yes, I'm aware that's not legal.

We apparently I'm stacked like fuck and have a chainsaw, I think I'll be fine.

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>Jason
>using chainsaw
tell Bubba that Jason stole his shit. Leatherface will go tard mode on him while I slip out the back.

Yeah but the murderer will say "lmao, imagine seething so hard I'm in your house that you actually kill me" if you use it

I stop paying taxes, soon the goverment will send their death commandos

Shotgun shells rigged to the window sills? What kind of setup we looking at here?

Tripwire and shotgun shells, yes.

They're the most effective. Have you considered punga sticks?

banana peels and upright dildos

What is it? You live on a poor/high-crime area, or just a schizo scared of the feds?

i spread my ass and suck him inside

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The latter, except I work for the feds.

How can shotgun shells be a trap?

just hang up the phone lmfao

You slip on them.

based

tell him his call is important to me and put him on hold
leave the house while he's waiting

you've really slipped, talking about it like that, here

Tripwire hooked to a nail, setting off the primer

hide in one of the trash piles.

He knows something we don't...

Tell him I'm not home.

second floor, last door on the left
get it the fuck over with

there's always a bigger fish

What if he's calling your house phone?

>house phone
lmao its not the 90's anymore gramps, nobody has a house phone now

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