I can't fart without liquid shit trying to spew out

I can't fart without liquid shit trying to spew out

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what poison does wendy's put in their spicy chicken nuggets, i had them yesterday afternoon and still have a stomachache

Get a better diet.
Fiber is your friend.
Fast food and grease is bad for you.

americans only eat proccessed food and this is the result

Don't get fucked in the ass so much then

Sawdust

>eat a bunch of baked beans yesterday
>feels like i'm pregnant with a fart bubble that just won't come out

It's something called "expired meat"

>operation: covid-beetus
>start date: start of 2022
>make sure as many americans with bad genes and habits aquire diabetes as possible through fast food
>let the neuropathy begin

>be me roughly 10 years ago
>retarded teen at the beach with friends
>only stands to reason that I get blackout drunk
>decide to go for one last piss before I crash for the night
>start to pee
>notice strange sensation on my leg
>look down
>a stream of liquid shit is involuntarily spraying down my leg as I piss
>would panic, but too drunk
>fall asleep on the bathroom floor with my pants around my ankles
>wake up with a splitting headache and dried shit on my leg
I have been afraid of shitting myself ever since. I used to fart loud and proud, but now I cant fart unless I run to the bathroom. I know its irrational, my accident only happened because I was the drunkest I've ever been. Its been a decade since and I am still afraid.

today I found out I'm range banned from Any Forums
I haven't posted there in years
this site is so fucking broken lmao

The spicier they are, the staler the meat
People have been disguising the smells of bad meat since at least the Roman times, when they had special recipes to mask certain foul tastes and odors

>fast food is bad meme

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Just buy the pass, goy

Do you even know what a rangeban is?

>tfw the only vice I truly have is to fuck hookers every once in a while

Gambling gets boring
Alcohol tastes like shit
Drugs were never my thing
Weed was never my thing
Clubs/Bars were never my thing

I just gained an interest in hookers in my late 20s and never looked back. It's fun to meet new hookers and then never meet them again and just go to the next one.

Quality varies but it's always nice to meet a new one. Most are very laid back. I even barebacked 2 of them lmao.

As a man in his 30s I stopped caring. I had sex before using hookers but this is just so smoother and less stressful to do.

>But you can get free sex bro

When you get older you will understand why old men use hookers. And it's not because it was a last resort. It's because it saves time and energy.

There is nothing like cumming in a hooker's mouth and then leaving like nothing happened. You don't have to text back or call unlike sluts on dating apps so you won't get #METOO'd.

I will be that old man who fucks young hookers while I watch the latest anime and play video games in an apartment and people will keep asking when I'm getting married

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eat bran

It's something randomly applied to various IP ranges to sell Any Forums passes

Psyllium husks are your friend.

You have crohns

This. You can tell because the list of what IP ranges are banned and why is kept hidden.

Take Imodium

>go to Costco
>see they've got huge boxes of that amazing brownie mix
>buy two boxes
>each box has 5 packages of mix
>can't even remember how many trays of brownies I've eaten over the past week
>can't shit, bowels filling

What do I do guys? And don't say stop eating the brownies.

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Damn that must suck not being able to rip fat farts and just laugh, popping off farts is really cool.

Stop eating brownies

take psyllium husk

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