Describe a game you like but make it sound as bad as possible, others try to guess which one it is

Describe a game you like but make it sound as bad as possible, others try to guess which one it is.

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People with terrible haircuts and dated rock references adorning their bodies smack each other over the head with various weapons and magic for about a minute or two before you have to do it all over again ad nauseum.
Also the story is so fucking ridiculous that it literally comes with a dictionary to explain all the terms its made up over the years.

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Skullgirls?

You spew your fluids all over the place and soak yourself in it

needs pantyhose

Splatoon.

you kill stuff because you're a depressed loser

Guilty Gear

Ngyes

Hatred?

You fuck over the laws of physics and commit some war crimes along the way

it also looks like shit

Most of the gameplay is QTEs, doesn't even have an ending in the base game.

You try to solve a bunch of colorful environmental puzzles and stop goldberg machines but they're all piss easy and there's way too much talking between each stage.

Asura's Wrath ez

Correct

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You play as a hideously disproportionate """""sexy""""" girl and the game makes you fight old bosses towards the end for the sake of padding.

Daisuke is weird like that
At least he keeps getting funding to keep making it

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little kid without a father figure has an omnicidal power fantasy, then dies

It's not fun!

EVE Online.

Bayonetta?

it's just quake but with cutscenes and set in the desert.

walking simulator that's only twenty minutes long

ye.

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Stanley parable

Your legs are missing and your anus is bleeding, but it honestly could be worse.

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Fear and Hunger

You kill dinosaurs 100 times hoping to get their intact scrotum.