Be creative

fire one at an aircraft and the other at the wall next to me
fuck jewrope and their retarded aversion to ACs

probably try to scrape some cash to buy moon rocks

lets be honest this is what 99% of people here would do
/thread

Based A bro

this

thats actually impossible

ive thought about it but there is no physical way, with the laws of the game
you cant thrust your dick forward without your ass moving the same amount
aside from the fact that thrusting your dick forward means youre extended forward with your hips so your ass is squeezed inwards

you would need to be on your knees with your ass spread wide to slide your dick in but you cant move your dick forward while on your knees

there is just no way user,
the surface with the portal on it cant move otherwise the portal dies (cuts dick off?)

so ultimately even if you have the tightest space possible and managed to finagle your body into it,
so you are deep in your ass down to your balls, and just stationary like that
now you want to thrust your dick in but you move forward and your butt moves in the exact same motion forward
so you ultimately wouldnt be able to stroke your dick with your asshole, you would just be moving with the motion of your ass, so its like standing still, no actual stroking of your dick
you would just be in your ass

the only way it could physically work is if you could move the surface which you cant
fucking sucks man

Put one in my chair and one in my toilet.

put one under my desk and the other on the wall opposite my bathroom so when I need to piss I can just do it right there and not worry about any bottles taking up space

Start a gloryhole business

fart in my own face, and then rob some place

I would open a portal in my backyard shed out of sight and locked then visit my parents 800 miles away and do the same in their garage so I could go visit them in the evenings instead of seeing them once or twice a year because they're starting to have memory issues and no one visits them anymore

sell it and become a multimillionaire

collect stuff.

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You're just not thinking with portals.

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Nothing because the gun only works on moonrock

You can just place the panel behind on something that moves and make that simulate the movement. Or you could just contract and loosen your butt repeatedly as to stimulate your penis.

Fucking lel. You seem to be an expert on this subject so I believe it. Admittedly it's been so long since I've played it I thought you could place a portal on an object and move it but I guess not.

b fags would still cry about this shit. they are literally too retarded to be btfo

I'd put a portal in the sun and watch as the planet is destroyed

rob a bank vault. I don't know how to best launder it though so I guess I'd have to look into crypto tumbling. Also the portal gun might be detected by the bank's cameras so I'd probably be hunted by the glowies after this. Actually I'd need access to the inside the bank vault to place the giant orange portal anyways so maybe this wouldn't work.

Shoot myself in the stomach and back with it and then make my cat jump through me like I’m a living hula hoop

honestly I'd probably just put a portal somewhere at my job so I didn't have to make the commute every day

so you would pop a squat to enter your tight b hole,
i can see that semi working, but the motion isnt condusive to a natural fuck
because again, you would squat down and your dick would angle downwards

you would need to slide up and down without squatting, like with a little lift or something
almost works but i dont believe it yet, because it would need to be a really fast jerking motion up and down
if you did big boy pullups you would rush blood to your arms instead of your dick

Based