I kinda hate existing...

Having had cancer and surviving it pretty much confirmed to me that life isn't special and theres no divine reason to hang around so you might as well do it for self satisfying reasons and ignore 100% about what people think or say about your decisions because on your death bed they're not there anyway and wont really remember you immediately after you perish anyhow.

You worry about your job and bills and social life. Tell your friends yeah I'll see you next week and just ignore them. Quit your job and get a fun underpaid job like refereeing sports or something. Eat and drink as much as you want or starve yourself for fun. Worlds your oyster but you live within the confines of what other people think you should do.

I've always said if I didn't give a shit I'd rack up as much fucking debt as possible (both so I can have fun and to fuck over Jews) and when they finally catch on just bounce out to Mexico and party until I either die or decide life ain't that bad.

piss off from my board you fucking moron, im on a good mood right now and you are ruining the view with your faggot thread

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I didn't miss out and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. The grass is always greener and all that.

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I've been feeling the same as OP and this made me feel a little better, thanks user
>Worlds your oyster but you live within the confines of what other people think you should do.
this bit where it needed to

>met an extremely cute guy while on a trip with a friend
>fucked and he seemed really into me
>swapped contact info
>turns out he just wanted to fuck nothing beyond that
>for the past month I have literally done nothing but browse the net, work, and listen to music
>can't even pick up a video game controller

I love how it takes something like this to show me just little video games matter to me and I just used them as some generic coping mechanism for nothing better to do. Now that I found exactly what I was missing I have 0 fucking interest in playing games and just want a cute boyfriend in my life to the point I can't bring myself to do nothing but sulk and despair

>meet person
>instantly inhale their cock
>disapointed they only wanted you to inhale their cock
thatsthe main part of the problem

Yeah but I developed feelings despite the cock inhaling being mutual.
it stands to reason they could have developed some as well. Also there was more to it than just that, I'm just quick typing for greentext sake.

I also don't know what they think of me but it seems they don't give a single shit beyond sex so

I'm sorry you feel that way user. I know life can be...rough. Seemingly not worth living depending on the situation you're in. Where existing itself might seem terrible, but I can tell ya, there's so, so SO much out there in this world alone that can change your mind. People you can connect to. Places to see. Simple, random things that might make you feel meaning and happiness. The biggest thing, the hardest thing, is just getting up and going out into that world. Doesn't even need to be physically just yet. You can connect with people and experience new things online too. It just..is up to you if you wanna take those first steps. But if you just sit where you are, doing nothing, apathetic and unhappy, odds are stacked that things won't change....so..be the change user. You can do it. I like to believe anyone can if their heart is in it. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, especially yourself.

Man, I'm fucking sorry user. At least now you know you want companionship with someone. You can, in time, get out there and try finding someone who will actually make you happy, and will be happy with you. Don't give up! I believe you can do it if you try!

thanks user. I hope it'll happen too. I'm going to force myself to do anything, something to try and meet locals. On the slight % chance I can find a guy I like.

Sad truth is I'm also fairly picky with the sort of guy I like, okay, well, not overly so, but I only like one specific body type and this guy had it all perfect. Of course it's not just looks, someone can be on point with looks and still have fuck all to offer as a partner personality wise. But damn this is daunting to think I can even find anyone locally

Seek Christ. You will find reason to live, I assure you.

Me too.

>He doesn't do the absolute bare minimum so he can coast through life and enjoy it.

ISHIGGYDIGGY

In the same boat. All I want is a family, a bit of land.

My advice is be patient. Good things come to those who wait.

I just wish I could die in my sleep. I failed to become an adult. I don't enjoy anything anymore. I'm actually going to die without ever knowing the touch of a woman. The rest of my existence is just going to be growing old and suffering because I botched my youth

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Walking down the road you're feeling lonely

but dont be sad, be glad

you're one step closer to the one you're going to meet