ITT: Ports/Remakes that have absolutely no redeeming values

ITT: Ports/Remakes that have absolutely no redeeming values.

Don't come in here with mixed bags or stuff that's just different. Post games that were meant to update or redistribute games but have no value whatsoever.

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Getting an obvious one out of the way

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Silent Hill HD Collection

What was wrong with evolution worlds? I only played the gamecube version as a kid.

What's wrong with this version. I was thinking of playing these games.

god, i rented this game twenty fuckin years ago and could never remember anything about it; not the title, the character, only this cover art and the butler with a gun

Not OP but it cut like half of the first game out. Didn't even bother with the second part because I had no fucking clue what they were thinking with that.

Almost the entirety of Evolution 1 is cut from the game, along with its debt system. Instead they give you two dungeons, play a SHITLOAD of between-dungeon cutscenes back to back, then ship you off to the finale before throwing you into a poorly rebalanced version of Evolution 2.

It only uses one set of assets for both games, which causes visual discontinuity with pre rendered Dreamcast cutscenes.

Audio is compressed to hell and back.

Progression systems got utterly fucked by the rebalance.

I remember the main characters well enough since a.) it was my first proper JRPG and b.) Gre was based and Pepper was cute.

I think this was one of the very first games I ever realized was bad. I couldn't make myself finish it and that was when i was like 12 and got 3 new games a year.

You basically get shitty abridged versions of two games. I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

>Most PS1/Saturn Capcom fighting game ports
>Several Doom ports
>Lunar GBA
>Grandia 2 on PS2
>Arguably Sonic Adventure DX, it really fucks over an already rough game

This is actually kind of hard. Most bad game ports and remakes are either inferior but not awful or completely different games.

That's utterly retarded. I had no idea.
I just assumed it was just an enhanced port like Skies of Arcadia with each version having it's pros and cons.

holy shit am i glad i played the dc games, now i'll never touch the gcn version. was actually thinking about playing this shit again

Not a port, but never forget that the original release of Gunvolt 1 cut out half the story outside of Japan because "lol, lmao."

Holy shit, even as a kid I could tell something was off.

Saturn Doom is close to being the worst commercial port of the game - SNES may look worse and perform similarly, but it was at least an accomplishment for the hardware it was on. The Saturn version is just awful. It's worse than the 32X version, the 32X being the preceding console Saturn is supposed to be a straight upgrade from. Virtua Racing didn't really make good on that either, though.

Ace Combat 3 cut most of the game.
Never forget how Atlus USA had enough money to make Mark black and dummy out the Snow Queen playthrough, but not enough to translate it.

>Saturn Doom is close to being the worst commercial port of the game
Like, worse than the 3DO version? I haven't played either but I've heard nothing but terrible things about the 3DO one. Wasn't quake actually decent on Saturn too?

Meanwhile Saturn Quake I at the same quality standard as PS1 Doom despite the Saturn being "bad at 3D."

Old ports were wild.

>shit framerate
>fucks up all the audio
>fucks up enemy and player movement
>fucks up lighting and backgrounds
>some secrets straight up don't work
>option configurations aren't saved
>weapons can only be cycled one way
>removed enemies and hazards
>no co-op for Americans

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I have never read a single line of dialogue in an Inti Creates game and I never will

It seems a little better than 3DO, it runs almost as bad but at a normal screen size.

How can people say things like this when the GBA version exists

>He didn't read "Ciel...believe in me!"
Cringe.

I didn't even realize it was abridged aside from the ship part of the game feeling rushed.