If I wanted to play the first "Kingdom Hearts" for the first time (literally know nothing about it)...

If I wanted to play the first "Kingdom Hearts" for the first time (literally know nothing about it), which one is the most suitable? the original? Some of the re-releases?

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The original PS2 release is missing some additional content that would later be included in Final Mix
So badicall any rerelease on modern platforms is fine as they all include it
Don't play the switch version which is a cloud port or something

PC version, same for the rest.
And always play on the highest difficulty.

The re-releases since they have the most content and QOL changes.

Original on an emulator with upscaled resolution

You don't want to play this autistic trash.

Emulate the final mix version of the first game with english patch.

PC/PS4/Xbone rereleases, don't even bother emulating because it's the inferior experience at this point.
You can only play 358/2 Days and Re:Coded on DS, they never remade them.
You can only play Chain of Memories on GBA, Re:Chain of Memories is a remake but it's got tons of differences (In my opinion worse) in gameplay and general progression.
KHUX is mobile only and it's basically a cutscene simulator now. Dark Road (A part of the app) will come at some point and it'll be playable.
Missing Link is another mobile game but that's not out yet.

There are no spinoffs. Play in release order no matter what, the collection has Days in the wrong spot and it'll directly spoil tons of things KH2 tries setting up so don't watch that after Re:CoM/CoM because your'e not intended to see those events until either before or after BBS, I forget which.

Either the 1.5+2.5 releases on PS4 or PC or emulating Final Mix with an English patch and a mod for the original Heartless colours.

Pirate the PC version. Retard bugmen don't deserve any money from PC players. Keeping the collection as a ps4 exclusive for so long then making it exclusive on EGS and not even patching it when it released.

I just played 1 last month and it was kino
Dropped 2 halfway through tho

Kairi looks weak to anal here, but I won't hit on her, she's taken by the by the clown shoe cock.

>You can only play 358/2 Days and Re:Coded on DS, they never remade them.
Did they remake Dream Drop Distance? Or did they add it into the collection with CoM?

1 is just a genuinely good game. Great music, style, and fun gameplay. Only thing people don't like about it is the corny writing, but even then the voice actors put a lot of heart into their work.

What was his fucking problem?

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clown outfit

DDD got a pseuco-Final Mix equivalent in 2.8. They added a couple Dream Eaters, reworked the toys, and reworked how enemies got knocked back out of Keyblade smacks (They used to super armor it on 3DS) but besides that they didn't add like new bosses or anything. It's still the definitive version.

How do PS2 emulators run nowadays anyway? Are they still shit?

I've never had many problems with them other than some shadow issues that can usually be fixed with a patch or built in "hack". Check the emulation wiki before playing a game to see if it needs any special options ticked in the settings.

The HD Remix collections are great. Just remember to play the full version of 358/2 Days on the DS. The "movie" version in the collection misses a ton of character development and small details, it's like watching a bad anime adaptation of a VN.

He got mad at Sora for having more belts and zippers on his clothes so he turned to the darkness.

Kingdom Hearts has been fine on it for years. The KH1 FM translation was backported from the PS3 release if I remember right, the KH2 FM translation was an original one but it introduces weird text offsetting. I can't remember if 1 FM does that.
Seriously though, you are genuinely better off just grabbing the native PC versions since they've got the ability to be easily modded, run at higher framerates, and so on. I don't know why anyone is recommending emulating the PS2 versions whatsoever since there are community patches for the issues that are there and you don't have to deal with the weird text.

And if you're curious, squenix actually still manufactures and sells the first 2 non-final mix games on PS2. If you want to play on original hardware.

the fuck do you mean? they still make PS2 copies?