It's unironically too fucking long

it's unironically too fucking long

Attached: eldenring.png (806x467, 580.92K)

I wish I played it when I was still a neet

It's honestly shit
>character creator makes you select body type A/B
>you play as a virgin
>the tree sentinels are 100% aryans who wear variants of the same golden armor, they want to kill you on sight
>every time they kill you they say "such an inferior being, wil do good soap"
>The final boss is a tranny who is revealed to be the actual hero who is trying to protect the world from the actual villain which is a conservative white woman who insist on calling you with female or male pronouns despite no one else doing this.
>The helpful NPCs are all black who have white maidens by their side
>One of the gestures in the game is a strange mix between praise the sun and twerking
>All of the dungeons have female bosses, you often will beat a creature and then a stronger female boss will appear.
>There's a mention of gamergate (it's very subtle)
>One of the NPCs references Rosa Parks
>When you get the option to change your appearance (yes even gender) an NPC will tell you "I'm glad you are proud of who you really are"
>there's a BLM mural inside a cave that is all way to end of the world, the description says "a painting dedícated to those brave warriors outiside of the Elden Ring" once you find this you can get an armor called "Armor of St. King" (reference to Rodney King, victim of Police brutality)
>The merchants will often mention of how there's always "evil beings" stealing the lighting of more deserving people (probably a reference to how niggers believe that Edison stole a niggers invention when he made the lightbulb despite this not being true)
>There's a Chadwick Bozeman reference, in a scroll who tells the story of a warrior that was "as fierce as a panther"
There's lots of other shit fromsoft crammed in here just to tell us that they hate their audience.

For you?

this game is for the lads, whose fortnite skills are very advanced

this is the only way to enjoy it

Little bit, every new playthrough basically starts with a 30 minute horse ride while you scour all the items you need for your build across the map.

It feels like something that was designed by committee - very "paint by numbers". There's no real artistic vision. Instead it tries to trick the player with the open world fad and having GRRM's name attached to the game, but it ultimately falls to pieces after you're a few hours in (which is conveniently past the refund period). Overall it's a disappointment, but I'm more disappointed that Fromsoft is just going to churn out more half-assed slop like Elden Ring over and over and over again.

it's actually insane. i'm 100 hours in and have just arrived at the 3rd of 6 legacy dungeons. usually these games take me 40 or so hours playing at a very methodical pace

Theres a lot more than 6 legacy dungeons, though I suppose it depends on how big it needs to be to be considered a legacy dungeon

I'm guessing the 6 you're referring to are
Stormveil
Raya Lucaria
Volcano Manor Town
Leyndell
Farum Azula
the Haligtree

But I would say
Caria Manor
Leyndell Sewers
Shaded Castle
Castle Sol
Ruin Strewn Precipice
Nokron
should all be considered separate legacy dungeons as well
but thats just a matter of semantics i guess