Woman=Nintendo

It doesn't. That's a screenshot from a famous gore video where she tortures the dog and then proceeds to masturbate over its dead body.

A woman comes to the doctor with two burnt ears. The doctor asks what happened to her.
'Well", she says. "I was busy ironing my clothes when my phone rang. I mistook my iron for my phone and held it againsy my ear to answer it."
"That's pretty bad", says the doctor. "But how did you burn your other ear?"
"Well I had to call the doctor after that"

take your meds

sensiblechuckle.gif

my girlfriend is mad at me because a female coworker and I drank coffee together
why are they like this

Attached: Pepefroggie.jpg (800x450, 36.93K)

next you're going to tell me that's not a woman?

She might treat you better going forward if she knows you have other girls eyes

Reminds me of that one music video where a cute goth girl imagines herself getting washed while watching the dogs get groomed.

Highlander rules.

one of these options
>you two haven't been in a relationship that long so she doesn't trust you 100% yet
>she's self conscious and thinks your coworker is hotter or has a better personality than her (solution: compliment your gf more)
>she's got deeper issues and she needs to work on them

Tell her that she looks cute when she's mad. Bitches love that.

i fucking wish m8. we get along great when shes not pulling this insane shit

Yeah and then they'll always act like a bitch, good job retard.

its three and she admits to it, but she's nuts to the point where she spazzes out anyways. I'm trying to tell her to get therapy because I can't so much as interact with a female without this shit happening
going on 4 years and I've never cheated or even flirted with another woman

She has trust issues ... But might also be projecting... Shit bro, she might be cheating on you

>woman=smash players
>gun=smash tournament
>dog=kids

very very unlikely she's cheating at the moment but I have told her in the past that, given her obsession with it, she's way more likely to cheat than I am

>Hairdresser blows dog
>Smashplayers blows kids
Your math checks out

that's trouble. four years and she's still not over her anxiety about stuff like this? and you have talked seriously about it? i don't know what to say, i know that if she's otherwise lovely i wouldn't want to break up with my gf of four years. but she needs to try to work towards getting over that issue. damn.

what the fuck

monke strong

A woman arrives at an emergency medical clinic, she appears to have her finger shot off. the doctor asks her what happened.
"well doctor, I've been depressed lately so I was thinking about killing myself. I got my gun and put it in my mouth. But then I thought to myself that it would ruin my teeth which I just got whitened. So then I put it to my chest. But I just bought this blouse and I wouldn't want to stain it with blood like that. So I eventually put the gun on my ear, put my finger in the other ear so I wouldn't hear the gunshot that loudly, and pulled the trigger".

Things are pretty great otherwise - we went through med school and undergrad together and are starting our careers. She found out in her late teens that her dad had some bastard children that he had hidden away which scarred her pretty bad. Add that to general anxiety and yeah, its tough to trust I guess. We're talking about therapy but she's pretty resistant to it - I dont think she thinks it'll work. I think i'll talk her into it eventually though and we can take it from there
thanks for listening bros