Elden Ring reviews for the Elden Ring review embargo are up!
Elden Ring Review Whining
Asher Butler
Jeremiah Gomez
>miyazaki lures trannies in with the slight pandering
>filters the fuck out of them
based
Wyatt Cox
How does elden ring pander to trannies of all people?
Levi Lewis
they're all correct, rushing to review a massive open world game in an extremely short span of time is the reason so many mainstream game reviews are fucking shit.
Landon Nelson
It's OK when Nintendo does it to them though: that's the difference.
Evan Sanchez
>body type a body type b
>allows you to change your sex any time
in the previous entries, it was Gwyndolin and the coffin sex change
David Davis
>DS3 will be easier
>Sekiro will be easier
>Elden Ring will be easier
Every single time lmao
Let's see who's the next Lothric Knight/Dancer/Chained Ogre/Isshin
Elijah Jones
>"""""""""review crunch"""""""""
Nicholas Smith
>ER will be easier
>puts a giant mounted boss within few yards of the start of the open world
Xavier Butler
kill all gaming journalists
Levi Gutierrez
>journotrannies act like playing a video game for a week is hard work.
I literally don't plan on sleeping this entire weekend so I can play Elden Ring as mich as possible before the work week. I wish I could be paid to play a fucking video game and just write my thoughts down about it.
Bentley Taylor
Luke Murphy
In a perfect world, where journalists' opinions matter, I would rather they have more time to play such a long game than just a week.
Joseph Perez
You can easily play 100+ hours in a week.
People work that long, for fuck's sake.
Elijah Moore
Jeff is right.
Jacob Lewis
>stop writing off review crunch and accessibility!!!!!!!!!!!
say what you want about accessibility but at least this is a real issue from real consumers, the fact that game journos are willing to piggyback that with THINK OF THE HECKIN JOURNORENOS WE'RE SO TIRED FROM HAVING TO PLAY GAMES FOR A WEEK STRAIGHT is disgusting. get a real job manchild retards
Sebastian Brown
Shazamposters have become absolute unhinged loons since these reviews came out. Best day all year.
Jeremiah Sullivan
Jeff works less than the Nextlander idiots like Alex Navarro: he is literally saying this because he's a lazy slob.
Cooper Gomez
>change sex anytime
Does that mean you can also tweak your character's face at any time?
That'd awesome
Jacob Bennett
Did they give journalists the easy version of the game again? Day one patch will make the game a lot more difficult I'm guessing.
Jonathan Perry
>Tranny coffin
Based Miyazaki
Elijah Thomas
Kinda. The day 1 rat race sucks, but its not really the same as crunch talk. The rat race exists if they had a code a month ago.
Jaxon Powell
why are they writing like they're being held at gunpoint to finish the game and the review in time, lmao
Nathaniel Ward
Connor Ross
yes but it has nothing at all to do with any """""""""""review crunch"""""""""""
Isaiah Barnes
They crunch because they are trying to beat the rat race
If they got the code a month ago, the crunch would just start a month earlier
Nicholas Price
I literally don't even care if a reviewer finishes a game for a review. A week is plenty of time to put in enough hours to get a hang of the game mechanics and how they play.
Jaxon Gonzalez
>wahhh review crunch is a real thing and developers should give us free games months in advance
I wish I were a crybaby journo.
Joshua Barnes
Oh no. People who decided to play video games for a living have to play video game... How horrible...
Isaiah Foster
>work shitty minimum wage fast food/retail job
>underpaid
>overworked
>customers treat you like shit
>come home and check twitter
>game journos crying about how being forced to play a game for only one week is a major workers rights issue omg guys
kill these people