Whenever I fuck up and indulge in a bad habit, I compulsively engage in every vice I have until I am a shell of a man; at which point I delete every online "account" and get rid of every possible avenue of sin I have until I am sure I will make it this time. This, of course, fails as it always does around 2 weeks into my new self and I fuck up by doing something I said I wasn't going to anymore. Repeat the cycle ad infinitum. I also literally cannot start a new habit unless it is the first of the month which makes everything take fucking forever. Not that it matters anyway, since I'll be back to my old ways by the 15th anyway. I believe in God but I purposely go against what I know to be right. Maybe I am simply a broken man. Can anyone relate? Is there any hope for us? I am 23, and I feel like if I don't break out of this matrix soon it's unironically going to be joever.
Whenever I fuck up and indulge in a bad habit...
lmao bro do you go full tilt masturbatron if you coom once and start making onlyfans accounts and shit?
Take 5 grams of mushrooms by yourself in a room. Come back and tell us what happened when you come down.
literally yes. i am unironically very attractive but i am mentally ill
Look into meditation.
The reason for this problem can be that your mind/ brain expects certain stimulations and when it craves them it will make u do things to feel the connected emotion. U need to stop ur unconcious mind and train it to work for you and not against you. To achieve free will we first have to conquer our own mind.
>Look into meditation.
Was about to say this. Cold showers too, just fucking don't use tiktok/twitter the amount of times I used to get hooked in looking at fucking hot schizophrenic chicks on Twitter/TikTok and then coom. Just fuck social media off, meditate, cold showers, read books and fucking don't be too hard on yourself.
if you fuck up i mean, be hard as fuck on yourself otherwise but try stay disciplined, but if you beat yourself up when you fuck up you'll go straight back into again. Just say alright I fucked up, have a shower and fucking stop lmao
I’ve been there, done that. It’s all a mind game really. For me, it was lack of self discipline and a lack of hobbies. I had so much free time that allowed me to do such things. I’m not lifting or play sports, but I found things that allow me to take my mind off the degenerate stuff, and when I feel like I’m starting to get bored of one particular thing, I start looking for other interests before i end up in that phase of doing nothing again. It’s a constant battle.
Do you live in a city? Surrounded by ugly esthetics and subhumans? That might be what’s making it worse for you
1.meditation which works literally like the opposite of scrolling/giving into urges
2.keep some outlet, eliminating everything at once is too much. lets say eating shit food you enjoy wont kill you instantly but cooming every day has a significant negative impact on your life, so the best would be keeping the least damaging habits and eliminating the worst ones like cooming and drugs. if you eliminate everything 99% of the time it will be too hard to maintain and you will inevitably aggressively relapse as you always do, but if you keep some of the less damaging ones they should be enough to keep you in line for longer periods. later when you managed to quit the worst ones you can start eliminating more bad shit
3. replace bad habits with good ones. if you keep scrolling every day for hours you are not changing much in your brain. you will revert back because there is too much exposure. replacing bad habits with good ones not only lessens chances of relapse (you won’t fap while at the gym unless you’re completely fucked up) but build the strength of your will to deny relapse when environment allows for it. and it will change how you think of yourself, ripped active person is usually not a coom addict unlike a think who spends all his day watching screens
Yeah I think I might know what you mean. Sounds like you are too hard on yourself when you fuck up and instead of facing the problem head one you indulge in your vices to run from the main problem. The solution? Stop running. Be uncomfortable and admit to yourself that you have a problem and take necessary action to fix it no matter how uncomfortable and difficult.
What are you vices and bad habits?
>Can anyone relate?
Yes. Not 100% sure how to break the habits. Peer pressure helps. So talking to others about it like you are is a good idea. Is there anyone else in the real world that you can talk to?
>experiences the cycles of samsara
welcome to the human experience user. there are many philosophies as to how to succeed, they are called "religion". personally I find self-forgiveness to be critical, if you flagellate yourself for your failures you will only entrench the habit. we are all "broken" in that our biology will always make demands of us. recognize the beauty in imperfection.
Maybe this will help, I think I recently finally figured out how to successfully form new habits.
1. Do it ONE AT A TIME.
You should not be trying to lose weight, learn to code, stop smoking, fix your sleep schedule, work on some new project and exercise more all at the same time, you need to exert conscious effort for each of those and you are bound to miss something, get confused, loosed motivation or probably fail for some other reason as well. You need to prioritize only one thing and it should be the only and most important thing that you absolutely need to accomplish that day/week, taking precedence over everything else (except maybe your job?). Also, do it ASAP, don't put it off because of some condition that doesn't actually prevent it (like »can't go for my daily walk bc it's raining«).
2. Dumb it down.
Try to make your task as simple as possible. If you're dieting to lose weight, don't plan out your whole fucking weekly diet menu that you need to stick to, simply because it takes more mental discipline to stick to it. Just set a simple goal like either an amount of calories or skipping a meal. Once you're certain you've established one of those habits for real, you can start working on the other one as well, or switch to building your menu every week or whatever. Another example would be that you want to start exercising outside, but you feel like you're going to lose motivation after a week or two. So make it simpler, just make it a goal to spend at least a certain amount of time outside, whether that means jogging, going for a walk or even just sitting on a bench or in an outside caffe. Track that time and plan to later demand actual jogging (or whatever) of yourself some number of times per week during that time. Do the baby steps first, then grow to fill bigger shoes.
3. Wait for a long time to start another new habit.
Probably like 1-3 months, but it depends, the thing is that it needs to really feel like you've been doing the previous habit »forever« and it's become automatic enough that you can't imagine stopping. Example: I weigh myself first thing every morning (this also helps, to have some kind of anchor/association to the habit, like getting up in the morning) and even if I wanted to stop I feel I would automatically want to do it, or actually do it by mistake. This is probably when you can start working on your next new habit.
4. Never stop
Habits are supposed to be something you do regularly for a very long time or possibly forever, not just the means to reach a goal. The best example is probably weight loss. People start dieting and maybe exercising to lose weight and at least half the time this just stops when they reach their target weight/body, then they need to do it all over again in a while and keep torturing themselves over and over for no reason, staying unsatisfied and unhealthy. You are not just counting calories because you magically had too much weight, you are doing it because you have a problem that made you get fat in the first place. If you exercise to stop being fat it is not solved forever, as soon as you stop exercising you will start getting fat again. You will need to count those calories and you will need to keep exercising – forever. Or at least long enough that normal eating/moving becomes second nature without paying attention to it and your eating/sedentiary problems are gone. Come to terms with this before you start or don't even bother starting. You can start with something even simpler, like tracking your calories to make sure they do not increase, or tracking your base activity level to make sure the number of times you move from chair to couch does not reduce by 1 or whatever the fuck. Hopefully, you might come to terms with doing the original thing eventually.
5. You are never done (reminding yourself)
This might partially repeat the previous point, but even if you've decided to start working on your next new habit, never consider the forming of the previous habit to be completed. The point of a habit is that you are never done (unless you want to quit or are prevented from doing it, obviously), so you are also never done enforcing it. If possible, never stop consciously reminding yourself. If you were keeping a log or diary or using a tracking app (these also help if you enjoy tracking it), keep doing it. Forever. This is a huge part of the reason why you're establishing these one by one, because it's hard, but it will become second nature to think of this habit every time by the time you are ready to start working on your next habit. Yes, even doing the habit and never stopping should become second nature at some point, without the need to keep that reminder on your phone and without even consciously thinking about it. But this won't be at the time you decide that you feel like it's become automatic enough to remove that reminder or stop tracking your activity or w/e. By then you will be doing it for so long, you won't even think about removing the reminder itself or stopping the tracking anymore, because that will also have become second nature. Maybe eventually you'll switch phones or something and you'll decide not to set it up again, even though it will feel a bit sad, like something is missing.
find what drives you. for many it is a personal project they work on, or a hard to achieve career or degree. youll realize nothing is else important, and you wont fuck up in fear of unwinding your progress toward that goal. if it doesnt fuck up your goal, who fucking cares then. friends are replaceable. find new ones which align with your goal and youll never double cross them.
this guys a fat fucking loser with bad breath. do not listen to this chump incel. get your goal in mind and fuck everybody who gets in your way
Well weight loss and exercise were the easiest and most universal examples.
What's your goal then? Genuinely interested.
Here’s the deal OP, there’s loads of good advice in this thread. But I’d like to also offer some helpful insight.
Find what triggers those habits.
>drink to relax
>end up an alcoholic
Instead of focusing on the drinking, focus on changing the habits that made you stressed to begin with (overthinking, stuck in your head, anxieties, etc)
Work on those and the vices will work themselves out naturally. You will feel the difference because you won’t be fighting yourself about the vices instead they will just seem unnecessary and less appealing.
T. Three years clean off hard drugs and living a fantastic life.
>fuck everybody who gets in your way
This is called the Harvey Weinstein method