We're looking for a rockstar developer

>we're looking for a rockstar developer

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>Salary: competitive

>We work hard and we play hard

that seems rather narrow, rockstar only employs 1000 devs

>we believe you're an excellent candidate and want you to complete 5 coding interviews that are irrelevant to the work you'll be doing

as a finn i feel weird when i look at american job postings, they always use words like "exceptional", "rockstar", "excellent" etc etc. the real exceptional ones are probably at google or apple, not at some random startup
meanwhile in finland they nowadays tend to just say, it would be good if you knew thing X, but also fine if you don't but need to be willing to learn

> Out of respect for your time, I have lined out some more details and what next steps would look like, so you can decide if this may be of interest to you:
> Next step would be to complete a quick 90-minute online coding challenge.

this is real btw

fucking some no name companies think they are google and have phone interview, online interview + 6 hour onsite, meanwhile saying that there is huge lack of developers
at least in my country the interviews are much more relaxed compared to that insanity

Instantly into the trash.

I'm not going through the trouble of setting up a meeting if you can't even give me an easy indication that I'm going to be earning more than I am now.

>We’re like a family here,

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That exact same scenario happened to me. Know what actually weeded me out? A final "personality assessment test". What an absolute load of shit.

Roseburg Forest Products, go fuck yourselves.

*Noseberg

>tfw you're only a jazz virtuoso developer

get a real career and you won't have to deal with this bullshit. i've never seen a finance job ask for a "rockstar."

Ping pong, pool, and foosball tables.

>rockstar developer
Time traveler, check the year.

>Description: entry level C++ dev
>But first, a few non-negotiable must haves:
>8 years of experience in a 3 year old interpreted tranny framework called Razmataz
>Fluent in CalypsoLang
>A graduate degree in FunkyPy (must have)
>3+ certificates in Sneedscript
>A distaste for "good enough" - your biggest weakness? Perfectionist.

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>real job
>finance
Finance is like the fakest and gayest job there is. It's even less real and needed than social media manager because it actively makes things more (((financialized)))

fact remains that i'm treated with respect at work (and i say this as someone who hates waging for a living.) i've never once done had to do a take-home assignment or technical assessment for an interview.

>BS in CS or equivalent experience
>5 years experience required
>50k/year
>stock options, which we wont actually let you have because once you can vest we will lay you off

i never make these meme job listings. i let candidates know they're nowhere near as good as me, but that if they will actually do the work, they'll stick around. i then continue to prove that for the rest of their time in my department, because i also write code, and mine's consistently done faster and done better than any of them.

wrong way to look at it. every single year, there's one that graduates from every comp sci college on every university campus all over the US. exactly one. and they don't all want to go to has-been, poopdick alley, and work for SOICorp. or insane tech robber-barons.
just gotta find that guy. he's a white male, and he's looking to work for someone who is both excellent and inspiring and personable and will guide him to achieve his goals.