Post the smartest way to squeeze every dollar out of tenants

>Be me
>Landlord in big city
>Suspect one of my tenants is keeping pets
>Obviously I made everyone sign a contract that said no pets
>Since I have spare keys of every room that I own I occasionally let myself in to do routine checks
>Usually pick a time when I know the tenants are gone to not invade their privacy
>One day i'm in the room of this tenant
>Hear weird spinning noise
>Look and she this girl has been keeping a hamster in a cage under the bed
>The hamster was running on the wheel which made the noise
>Get the cage from under the bed. open it and get the hamster out
>Throw it in the toilet and flush
>It keeps crawling back out
>Throw a bunch of toilet paper on it and flush again
>This time it's finally disposed off
>Grab the hamster cage
>Put it outside next to the trash

she obviously called me end of the day asking if I knew what happened, just told her that pets weren't allowed in the building and if I would allow a hamster soon people would also get cats and dogs and the value of the property would plummit. I only put it outside next to the trash and it must have opened the cage by itself and got out and ran off.

She was crying and everything on the phone because apparently the hamster (i forgot its name) was a gift from her brother who died shortly after gifting it to her and he was the only brother she had left or something as if that would change anything.

I also told her I was obviously gonna keep her security deposit as she was clearly in violation of the contract we both put our signatures on.

Good thing i'm a plumber, If i ever have a landlord pull this on me I'll fucking rip your water main and make you buy a new house

I actually suspected my landkike was going to pull something like this so I had a bunch of hidden cameras installed around the apartment and caught him trying to damage a bunch of shit on camera and sued him for my deposit and then some

This pasta is already stale

Lmao a nail in a shoe that would be super obvious as they dragged thier foot across the floor what is going on

Landlords don't call them floorboards

Hi meet the attorney who will garnish your wages

Deposits should be illegal. They get paid to eat risk.

Good thing this is a pasta because you'd probably end up getting your ass beat.

If you let someone borrow your car for 6 months to a yearwouldn't you like some money upfront incase they damage it? Unless you don't mind paying for them.

I just send them my new address and never mention the deposit. In Florida they have 30 days to send you a list of deductions via certified mail or they forfeit the right to take any of the deposit. The inevitably never do this and then I send them a letter demanding return of deposit or I will be filing a lawsuit in 14 days.

Both times I’ve done this they have returned my deposit,

Inspections should be done by the third party then and the deposit should be held by a third party, probably the same.

It's getting stale because half of the catalog is this same gay thread

excuse me sir this is illegal

>borrow
They are paying me for the car. This analogy doesnt make sense.

Super obvious and pasta

Okay so you don't mind paying for any damages they made to your car after they already paid to use it?

I'll work hard to screw over other people

You are forced to pay regardless of who does what. All you are doing is passing the buck.