How do I explain a 7 year gap in employment?

tell them you were a 2 spirited they/them sex worker that had a racial awakening. They'll hire you on the spot to avoid a lawsuit.

You were morbidly obese and unable to work until you went on a crash diet. This is a normal issue

Well... they aren't forced to hire you either.

Why do you even bother? They'll never hire you anyway. Long-neeters are discriminated against, and for good reason : they tasted freedom, thus will make terrible slaves.

Your only chances at life now is to either find a sugar mommy to pay for your neetdom, or start your own business (undeclared if possible). But don't expect any corpo or company to ever give you a job. Maybe on gubment payroll for the lowest imaginable gubment trash job like picking up trashes left on the ground in the public spaces.. But usually they prefer to hire niggers freshly off the boat who don't speak a word of english to do this kind of stuff.

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This is pretty much the truth... I lost it in a retarded way though. Wouldn't them knowing that make them not want to hire me?

>I lost it in a retarded way though
You bought jugs of frozen urine at the top?

>How do I explain a 7 year gap in employment?
Lie and say you were running your own business and due to Covid it was forced to shut down. Just have some sort of story to go off, and steer the conversation into being angry about the IRS going after venmo.
Interviews are all about keeping the focus off yourself.

Tell them that work is a scam.
And that you need to work only to have some funds trying to escape the rat race.
They'll either put you in the black list or appreciate your honesty.

cancer, or caring for someone w cancer. It's what happened to me but it was 13 years

I had valuable technical skills and I aced the technical interview. They didn't care about the gap at all.

lie

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Say you were in prison for killing the last person who rejected your job application.

you were working on a small startup opportunity which unfortunately didnt pan out.

If it’s that long you have to take a business

1-2years a family member had a chronic illness and you decided to quit work take out your retirement fund and attend to your sick relative full time who has beaten cancer

If it’s more than 2 years you need a “failed business”. You ran a business and it started failing due to Covid could never get back to where it was hence you are looking for work they’ll nod their heads and move on

Business can be anything Landscaping, Cleaning, Online Apparel doesn’t matter

You have to lie to these HR roasties the manager who interviews prob doesn’t give a fuck he’s stressed and wants to hire and train ASAP it’s the roaster you need to convince

Tell them it's time dilation. For you it's only been two weeks.

kek

lie or forge work certificates

Say you are a drug addicted

You were working on your dads farm. Family business.

Just lie, silly

Say you climbed mountains in Tibet

Tell them you were working for yourself, but need more financial security and want to branch out and are interested in learning more about [company you are applying to]

You can just fill in the gap with a made up current employer? You can tell the new job you don’t want your “current” to find out you’re solliciting somewhere else as you’re in the proces to renew your contract.