All I do is struggle in this life

As I watch everyone undeserving get whatever they want, wealth, health, women.
Scammers making massive profits
Liars getting away with literally anything.

I walk the path of honesty and love of god and I am returned with agony, anguish, depression, failing health.

Yet I never succumb to evil and I continue to struggle.
I want to KMS most days but I can't because it goes against everything I've ever striven for.

Will I ever be rewarded or is joy on this earth only allocated for the wicked and doomspeakers?

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Welcome to The Test.

didnt read. you need to realise nobody cares about you because you were born male. thanks for playing

Who are you to decide who is and isn't deserving of anything.
You're a cretinous rat on Any Forums like the rest of us.
Fuck you.

Your path is its own reward

Your reward is not whst you deserve but what you get.
When you get into situation thats full retard don't try to go half retard or something, go full retard as its the only way to win.
Theres some cats that live in my backyard.
One had 3 kittens the other had 6 kittens.
I give them some catfood but I can't go around the yard to catch grasshoppers fir them. Kitten that plays catches the grasshopper and has a bonus snack.

When does this test end?
Also is everyone literally just fragmented memories torturing me daily through interactions that do and go nowhere?

no one's gonna save u fren, u need to save urself. What exactly is the problem? As long as its not some uncurable chronic disease u can make it.

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Who says they don't deserve it? You don't know them.
Don't get all high and mighty on me buddy. What have you -really- done to deserve anything, my narcissist friend?

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You got a BRO ID, bro. You're gonna make it but stop thinking and talking like a little bitch, you just envy other people wealth because you're a poorfag and you call it "suffering", and what's worst you think you are somehow virtuous for never succumbing to "evil" and expecting a "reward" on this earth. Fuck that. It's all in your head you deluded fuckwad, stop thinking like a loser or you'll live as one your whole life

Read the story of Job in the Bible, then learn about Spinoza. If you have a low attention span Nigger brain look up Will Durant Spinoza on YouTube. You are a piece of dust in a cosmic universe. God is above good and bad, god is above meddling in human affairs, prayer is in vain, humans are only a part of his creation and you’re retarded life is the least of his worries. Even using the term “his concerns” is cringe. God is not even comprehensible to humans, he doesn’t take a form that we understand, he is essence, god is nature, god is all substance and math and phenomena. Not advocating atheism, just want to give a more complete perspective, so you drop your fairytale peasant-tier religion cope and become a big brain philosopher.

There is no reward beyond a noble life is its own reward.

John 15:19

I'm very ill, likely something uncurable I've spent years trying to find out what's wrong with me and nobody came up with an answer besides I'm rapidly aging and decaying.

>If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.
>If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.
>Remember what I told you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master. If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also.

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I've read the book of Job and many people here said I'm living it, maybe we all are.
But it doesn't appear that way, I deal with wealthy people daily and they are rarely good people.

You are a narcissist suffering from the disparity between your self-aggrandisement and the reality of your failure. You seek to blame it on anything but your mind.

You need to smoke weed. It's the only way to remember being grateful for life even if it seems really bad at the moment.

How am I a narcissist?
By the way 99.9% of the time people who are narcissistic quickly blame others of their own condition?

im sorry fren

>I deal with wealthy people daily and they are rarely good people
is it all about wealth for you? is that what you consider a reward?

Living a life without worry access to whatever you want when you snap your fingers is wealth, I'm talking truly wealthy people not internet investors.