Styxhexenhammer666 is obsessed with free gaming laptops and devising schemes to fool people into sending him enormous donations and weekly tithes for his "Salvation Laptop Fund" which he uses to buy more expensive gaming laptops. He's running a big scam operation to fool all of you into sending him your life savings to buy yourself a place on his so-called "Salvation Laptop". In reality Styx will just type your name onto a list which he saves as a Word document on his "magical" laptop, that's your "place of salvation". He will then use your money to buy himself even more expensive gaming laptops that he'll play on his luxury yacht and private jet while plotting to rule the world through his laptop scam.
▶ Styx boasts about his "tech skills" but doesn't know how to transfer the data from his HDD ▶ Keeps replacing his microphones because the volume is always terrible (he doesn't know how to adjust it) ▶ He fails to properly install his Logitech peripherals on his other laptop and thinks they don't work simply because his other laptop is "too old" to work with Logitech software
DUDE i just LOVE the hustle and bustle of the big city, it’s so DYNAMIC and makes me feel like i’m in one of my favourite TV SHOWS. you should totally come on down to my studio apartment, it’s got EXPOSED RED BRICK walls and everything, we can crack open a nice hoppy ipa or three and get crazy watching some cartoons on adult swim! and dude, dude, DUDE, we have GOTTA go down to the barcade- listen here, right, it’s a BAR where us ADULTS who do ADULTING can go DRINK. BUT!!!! it’s also an ARCADE like when we were kids, so we can play awesome VIDEO GAMES, without dumb kids bothering us. speaking of which megan and i have finally decided to tie the knot- literally -we’re both getting snipped tomorrow at the hospital, that way we can save money to spent more on ourselves and our FURBABIES. i’m fuckin JACKED man, i’m gonna SLAM this craft beer and pop open another one!!!
Gabriel Smith
why Gary? why? you gonna be in the hurricane threads this year?
Juan Torres
>muh ecelebs Kys
John Murphy
Based Gary
Luke Hall
literally who?
Bentley Lee
Get fucked, Leaf. Literally hearing all this shit now.
Grayson Parker
He's gonna love reading this thread on the new laptop I just sent him
Carter Lopez
Can't believe this thread is still hitting my filter years after I added it
Alexander Campbell
Is this Styx in the room with us now?
Jacob Smith
This is a problem! Styxhexenhammer666 has taken some serious money from me. I was hoping that it would help him buy new laptops to support his gaming steams but it turns out to be a hustle. Maybe we can spread the word and unite different boards/websites about what Styxhexenhammer666 is doing
Edit: my mom is pissed now as well since I used her money to help Styxhexenhammer666 pay for his laptop
